Last week, I took care of Caleb's birth certificate and Social Security card. In the moments when I first saw both documents, I got a little teary-eyed. It got me wondering if all mothers are affected by the sight of their child's name on paper, or if this is more of an adoptive mother "thing." Maybe it's just me...which is ok.
It started for me the day that we created our Covenant (adoption agreement) with Brooke. On the document, Cissy (the counselor) wrote out his name because Brooke indicated that it would be used on his original birth certificate. Matt and I had written out the name before, but it was different this time. This time, there was actually a baby that would receive the name. It had more meaning. As Cissy handed us the document, I got a chill because it was actually happening!
Once Caleb was born, his name was everywhere. Insurance cards. Adoption agency documents. Barnes & Noble Birthday Club Card. Each time something arrived bearing his name, it had the same effect. At the risk of sounding cheesy, there was something magical about seeing it on paper. I don't know if I can really describe this to you, but I hope that you can somewhat understand what I'm talking about. I assumed that the feeling would wane over time. After all, if we say it and write it all the time, it has to lose steam at some point...right? Not yet.
Maybe it's because our road to a child was fairly long. Maybe I am just in love with my son. Whatever the reason, seeing his name makes me so appreciative of what I have. Literally each time I see it written out, I take a moment to thank God for such a precious gift.
You may or may not have experienced this yourself. I hope you have because it's amazing.
Caleb Josiah Fischer...ahhh!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Support
This past weekend, we attended a picnic hosted by our adoption agency. It was their annual Adoption Picnic, and I was so excited to go. It had been over a year since I had seen most of the couples from our infant adoption class. We'd been keeping in touch via e-mail whenever someone was placed, but it had been sporadic. While we haven't talked or seen each other, we still hold a very special common bond. As soon as we arrived, I got a hug from one of the girls in the class. Slowly, about half of our class arrived to join in the celebration. All of us proudly showing off our little guys and gals. We caught up on how things had been going, and shared the stories of how our children came into our families.
I don't think I realized how much I needed to be around other women who had been through a similar experience. Don't get me wrong, I have very supportive family and friends, who have all been more than happy to let me share our experience with them. I love talking about our process, regardless of the audience. The biggest difference is that the women from the class have been there. They completely understand the emotions that we experienced as we waited, after we got "the call," and at the arrival of Caleb. The doubt, frustration, anger, bitterness that turned into trust, love, joy and awe. It's hard for others to understand why I didn't take the tags off of baby gifts until just before he arrived (or after in some cases). It's hard to explain the fear that Brooke would change her mind. It's hard to describe the relief in realizing that my love for Caleb was no different than if I had given birth to him myself.
One family that I was very excited to meet was a couple whose daughter was born about 10 hours after Caleb in Tucson. Our counselor kept running back and forth between the two hospitals trying to support both adoptive families. As we were being discharged from the hospital, she suggested that I get into contact with them because they also lived in North Phoenix. We tried to connect via e-mail, but it just never worked out. As Matt and I ate lunch, I started talking to the lady next to me. I asked how old her daughter was, and shared that our son was the same age. She asked his birthday and we figured it out. What are the odds? Hopefully, we will keep in touch with them since they live so close to us.
As we all talked, I got an overwhelming feeling of relief. It was as if my heart and mind had been waiting to talk with other adoptive parents. I loved hearing their stories and learning more about their little ones. When I talk about a relationship with our birth mom, they know exactly what I am talking about. When I share the strange questions we've been asked, they have been asked the same questions. I think the most amazing part was connecting so much with people that I had just met. I knew that I would be able to talk and share with the couples from our class. I didn't expect to have a similar experience with couples from other classes.
Adoption creates a wonderful bond between people. Often, I think about the connection we have with Brooke, but it goes far beyond that. If I could pass along any suggestions to parents who are adopting, or who have adopted, it would be to find a support system of other adoptive parents. As Caleb gets older, I want him to be around other children who are adopted. I want him to know that he is not the only one out there. As much as he needs that, I also need that.
I really feel as though I am meant to do something more with adoption. I don't mean to adopt again (which is the plan, at this point). I mean that I feel called to work with adoptive moms. It may not be a career path, but definitely something that I can do as a volunteer opportunity. At this point, I'm not sure what that will be but I figured that if I write it down people may hold me accountable to follow through. :)
I don't think I realized how much I needed to be around other women who had been through a similar experience. Don't get me wrong, I have very supportive family and friends, who have all been more than happy to let me share our experience with them. I love talking about our process, regardless of the audience. The biggest difference is that the women from the class have been there. They completely understand the emotions that we experienced as we waited, after we got "the call," and at the arrival of Caleb. The doubt, frustration, anger, bitterness that turned into trust, love, joy and awe. It's hard for others to understand why I didn't take the tags off of baby gifts until just before he arrived (or after in some cases). It's hard to explain the fear that Brooke would change her mind. It's hard to describe the relief in realizing that my love for Caleb was no different than if I had given birth to him myself.
One family that I was very excited to meet was a couple whose daughter was born about 10 hours after Caleb in Tucson. Our counselor kept running back and forth between the two hospitals trying to support both adoptive families. As we were being discharged from the hospital, she suggested that I get into contact with them because they also lived in North Phoenix. We tried to connect via e-mail, but it just never worked out. As Matt and I ate lunch, I started talking to the lady next to me. I asked how old her daughter was, and shared that our son was the same age. She asked his birthday and we figured it out. What are the odds? Hopefully, we will keep in touch with them since they live so close to us.
As we all talked, I got an overwhelming feeling of relief. It was as if my heart and mind had been waiting to talk with other adoptive parents. I loved hearing their stories and learning more about their little ones. When I talk about a relationship with our birth mom, they know exactly what I am talking about. When I share the strange questions we've been asked, they have been asked the same questions. I think the most amazing part was connecting so much with people that I had just met. I knew that I would be able to talk and share with the couples from our class. I didn't expect to have a similar experience with couples from other classes.
Adoption creates a wonderful bond between people. Often, I think about the connection we have with Brooke, but it goes far beyond that. If I could pass along any suggestions to parents who are adopting, or who have adopted, it would be to find a support system of other adoptive parents. As Caleb gets older, I want him to be around other children who are adopted. I want him to know that he is not the only one out there. As much as he needs that, I also need that.
I really feel as though I am meant to do something more with adoption. I don't mean to adopt again (which is the plan, at this point). I mean that I feel called to work with adoptive moms. It may not be a career path, but definitely something that I can do as a volunteer opportunity. At this point, I'm not sure what that will be but I figured that if I write it down people may hold me accountable to follow through. :)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Staying open
On Monday, Matt and I took CJ down to Tucson to meet up with Brooke. It had been six months since she had seen him, and we were so excited for the visit. As we drove down, I realized that the last time we had made that drive, we were heading down to meet Brooke at the hospital. At that point, the sentimental side of me took over. I pointed out every landmark associated with CJ's adoption:
*The McDonalds in Marana where we met Brooke for the first time.
*The Travel America truck stop in Eloy where we wrote up our covenant.
*We even got off at the exit where Brooke lived when we picked her up for her ultrasound (just four days before he was born).
I am not a sentimental person. I still haven't had my wedding dress cleaned and boxed...and we've been married for eight years. This is different though. It's like I want to store up every possible memory of Caleb. When we started the adoption process, I wondered how I would feel about the child that we would end up adopting. I worried that my feelings would be different than if he/she was a biological child. I worried that I wouldn't feel the same connection or love. Boy, was I wrong. From day one I have loved that little man more than I could have imagined. It's hard to believe, but that love grows mroe and more each day.
We were a little concerned about how CJ would react because he gets a little shy after he naps, and he slept most of the way down. We didn't want Brooke to misread his reaction. Well, our fears were for nothing. As soon as he saw her, a huge smile moved across his face. It made me wonder if he knew who she was. He was with her for nine months, so I would assume that he could still recognize her voice. He may not understand why, but I'm sure he knew that she was familiar to him. It was awesome to watch them sit together and play. I can tell that she has a special place in her heart for him, and that she still wants only the best for him. She seems to be doing well, for which we are very thankful.
CJ playing with a bracelet Brooke was wearing.
I've had a few people lately ask how I am so comfortable with an open adoption. Originally, I wanted an open adoption because research has shown that to be the best option (provided the birth parents are not a danger to the child). Over the last nine months, my mindset has shifted a little. I still believe that it is best if the child is able to connect with his birth family, but now I think it's also because I know that CJ is our son. He is a part of our family, and so is Brooke. I want to be sure that he always knows where he came from.
In the past few weeks, I have had a few opportunities to connect with complete strangers who are interested in adoption. It seems very bizarre that people come to me with questions or advice, but I am really enjoying it. I know how lost I felt at times when we were going through the process. We didn't know many people who had explored adoption, so we didn't have a point of reference. I am actually considering writing a book about our experience. I know that I've been saying that for awhile now, but I actually started it. I'm hopeful that I can finish it. If nothing else, it will be great to have an account of our experiences that I can share with CJ when he is older.
*The McDonalds in Marana where we met Brooke for the first time.
*The Travel America truck stop in Eloy where we wrote up our covenant.
*We even got off at the exit where Brooke lived when we picked her up for her ultrasound (just four days before he was born).
I am not a sentimental person. I still haven't had my wedding dress cleaned and boxed...and we've been married for eight years. This is different though. It's like I want to store up every possible memory of Caleb. When we started the adoption process, I wondered how I would feel about the child that we would end up adopting. I worried that my feelings would be different than if he/she was a biological child. I worried that I wouldn't feel the same connection or love. Boy, was I wrong. From day one I have loved that little man more than I could have imagined. It's hard to believe, but that love grows mroe and more each day.
We were a little concerned about how CJ would react because he gets a little shy after he naps, and he slept most of the way down. We didn't want Brooke to misread his reaction. Well, our fears were for nothing. As soon as he saw her, a huge smile moved across his face. It made me wonder if he knew who she was. He was with her for nine months, so I would assume that he could still recognize her voice. He may not understand why, but I'm sure he knew that she was familiar to him. It was awesome to watch them sit together and play. I can tell that she has a special place in her heart for him, and that she still wants only the best for him. She seems to be doing well, for which we are very thankful.
CJ playing with a bracelet Brooke was wearing.
I've had a few people lately ask how I am so comfortable with an open adoption. Originally, I wanted an open adoption because research has shown that to be the best option (provided the birth parents are not a danger to the child). Over the last nine months, my mindset has shifted a little. I still believe that it is best if the child is able to connect with his birth family, but now I think it's also because I know that CJ is our son. He is a part of our family, and so is Brooke. I want to be sure that he always knows where he came from.
In the past few weeks, I have had a few opportunities to connect with complete strangers who are interested in adoption. It seems very bizarre that people come to me with questions or advice, but I am really enjoying it. I know how lost I felt at times when we were going through the process. We didn't know many people who had explored adoption, so we didn't have a point of reference. I am actually considering writing a book about our experience. I know that I've been saying that for awhile now, but I actually started it. I'm hopeful that I can finish it. If nothing else, it will be great to have an account of our experiences that I can share with CJ when he is older.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Time to exhale!
What do you mean there's nothing left to do? I've been working on this since December 2009...and it's over. The best way that I can explain my feelings about finalizing CJ's adoption would be to compare it to planning a wedding. You have this build up for many months, during which time there is always something else that you have to be thinking about. Then, the day finally arrives. You go through the hearing (or ceremony, to keep my analogy going), and then you celebrate. Once the celebration ends, everyone goes their separate ways, and it's business as usual. Weird! Trust me, I am in no way complaining that CJ's adoption has been finalized. I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am to tell people that we are done, and that the state now recognizes us as his parents. It just feels very bizarre that we don't have anything else that we need to do.
Yesterday was amazing! I can hardly describe the number of emotions that I experienced within a very short period of time. I'll try to go through the details, since I don't want to forget anything!
Throughout this week, I had been getting progressively more nervous and anxious about our hearing. I don't know why. To keep with the wedding analogy, it's similar to the excitement and nerves that a bride or groom would experience the morning of their wedding. Yesterday morning, I didn't know what to do with myself. The hearing was scheduled for 10am, which was a perfect time. Late enough that we didn't have to rush, but early enough that I didn't have a long time to feel anxious before we went into the courtroom. We were lucky enough to have a few friends and family with us - Tim & Lisa Bristol (CJ's godparents), Matt's parents and Ashley Steele (best friend...practically a sister).
After arriving about 15 minutes early, we went through security. I think I was so focused on the adoption side of things, that I forgot the courthouse also deals with juvenile offenders. It seemed very weird to walk through a metal detector and have my bag checked. Even more interesting, they made people take off their belts. I still don't completely understand that one. Once it was determined that we were not carrying any drugs or weapons, we made our way over to the front desk to get checked in. I was actually surprised how many people were waiting for their turn in the courtroom. It was fun to see the families who were clearly there for a finalization. Everyone was dressed up and excited. Three families were scheduled in each time slot, so at times it was pretty full. We received our courtroom number (#9, in case you were curious) and headed over to wait our turn.
Two people from the County Attorney's Office met with us to explain what they were going to ask, and what to expect. That helped quite a bit. Even though I knew the basic questions, I appreciated going through each of them. As we were talking, I got a call from Sharon. She was at the wrong courthouse! Uh oh! She was on her way and was expecting to arrive within 15 minutes. We asked the attorney what would happen if she wasn't there, and we learned that it wouldn't make a difference. Luckily, with two other families scheduled for 10am, we bought ourselves a little time by going last. Right after the first family came out, Sharon arrived. We got settled, and watched as family number two went in.
By this point, my nerves were going crazy. I finally sat down. If I stood up, I would either rock or pace, which both made me look a little crazy. Finally, it was our turn! We walked into the room and were directed to sit at the front, with our friends and family sitting behind. After we sworn in (not sure if that is the right terminology, but we had to raise our right hand...so it sounds good to me), we went through the series of questions. "Please say and spell your name." Actually, the "spell your name" came after Matt gave his middle name. I'll probably misspell it, but you should know that it is Hawaiian and about 12 letters long. If you see him, ask him to show you his driver's license...pretty entertaining. "Please state your address." "Do you intend to adopt Caleb Josiah, born 1/11/11 in Tucson?" "Are you biologically related to him?" After a few more questions, it was Sharon's turn. She was asked her opinion on our ability to parent. Naturally, we're amazing, so we weren't worried about that one. Then, it was the judges turn. After what felt like an eternity, we heard the magic words. We were legally Caleb's parents! As the judge finished his sentence, CJ let out this squeal/giggle. Talk about perfect timing. It sounded like he was rejoicing as much as we were. We were given the opportunity to take pictures with the judge, and then we headed out to celebrate.
This day was a long time in the making, and we couldn't have made it throughout without the love and support of a lot of people. We are very blessed with those God has placed in our lives. While the process was long and frustrating at times, and we often questioned God's plan for us, it is very clear that he had a very specific plan in place. We could not asked for a more amazing child. God knew what he was doing when he led Brooke to us through Christian Family Care. I cannot imagine our lives without this little man, and I am so excited to see where God takes us in the future!
Yesterday was amazing! I can hardly describe the number of emotions that I experienced within a very short period of time. I'll try to go through the details, since I don't want to forget anything!
Throughout this week, I had been getting progressively more nervous and anxious about our hearing. I don't know why. To keep with the wedding analogy, it's similar to the excitement and nerves that a bride or groom would experience the morning of their wedding. Yesterday morning, I didn't know what to do with myself. The hearing was scheduled for 10am, which was a perfect time. Late enough that we didn't have to rush, but early enough that I didn't have a long time to feel anxious before we went into the courtroom. We were lucky enough to have a few friends and family with us - Tim & Lisa Bristol (CJ's godparents), Matt's parents and Ashley Steele (best friend...practically a sister).
After arriving about 15 minutes early, we went through security. I think I was so focused on the adoption side of things, that I forgot the courthouse also deals with juvenile offenders. It seemed very weird to walk through a metal detector and have my bag checked. Even more interesting, they made people take off their belts. I still don't completely understand that one. Once it was determined that we were not carrying any drugs or weapons, we made our way over to the front desk to get checked in. I was actually surprised how many people were waiting for their turn in the courtroom. It was fun to see the families who were clearly there for a finalization. Everyone was dressed up and excited. Three families were scheduled in each time slot, so at times it was pretty full. We received our courtroom number (#9, in case you were curious) and headed over to wait our turn.
Two people from the County Attorney's Office met with us to explain what they were going to ask, and what to expect. That helped quite a bit. Even though I knew the basic questions, I appreciated going through each of them. As we were talking, I got a call from Sharon. She was at the wrong courthouse! Uh oh! She was on her way and was expecting to arrive within 15 minutes. We asked the attorney what would happen if she wasn't there, and we learned that it wouldn't make a difference. Luckily, with two other families scheduled for 10am, we bought ourselves a little time by going last. Right after the first family came out, Sharon arrived. We got settled, and watched as family number two went in.
By this point, my nerves were going crazy. I finally sat down. If I stood up, I would either rock or pace, which both made me look a little crazy. Finally, it was our turn! We walked into the room and were directed to sit at the front, with our friends and family sitting behind. After we sworn in (not sure if that is the right terminology, but we had to raise our right hand...so it sounds good to me), we went through the series of questions. "Please say and spell your name." Actually, the "spell your name" came after Matt gave his middle name. I'll probably misspell it, but you should know that it is Hawaiian and about 12 letters long. If you see him, ask him to show you his driver's license...pretty entertaining. "Please state your address." "Do you intend to adopt Caleb Josiah, born 1/11/11 in Tucson?" "Are you biologically related to him?" After a few more questions, it was Sharon's turn. She was asked her opinion on our ability to parent. Naturally, we're amazing, so we weren't worried about that one. Then, it was the judges turn. After what felt like an eternity, we heard the magic words. We were legally Caleb's parents! As the judge finished his sentence, CJ let out this squeal/giggle. Talk about perfect timing. It sounded like he was rejoicing as much as we were. We were given the opportunity to take pictures with the judge, and then we headed out to celebrate.
This day was a long time in the making, and we couldn't have made it throughout without the love and support of a lot of people. We are very blessed with those God has placed in our lives. While the process was long and frustrating at times, and we often questioned God's plan for us, it is very clear that he had a very specific plan in place. We could not asked for a more amazing child. God knew what he was doing when he led Brooke to us through Christian Family Care. I cannot imagine our lives without this little man, and I am so excited to see where God takes us in the future!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Why don't they come with manuals?
For the first 6 or 7 months of CJ's life, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of things. Yes, I had moments of worry and confusion, but nothing too serious. Things are relatively simple when the child's schedule consists of eating formula, sleeping, and playing (and more than a few diaper changes). Then, we hit the solid food stage (cue dramatic music).
My first struggle was in deciding whether I should make or purchase CJ's food. After a little pep talk from my sister Emily, I realized that it probably was not going to be that hard to make his food. In the end, the hippie in me won...or was it the cheapo? I am not a whiz in the kitchen, but how hard could it be to steam veggies and fruits and then puree them? At first, it was that easy. Matt and I picked out the fruits and veggies that we wanted to try early on, and then I started making baby food. While not every batch was perfect, CJ is not a picky eater so it worked out. I actually enjoyed the process. I felt very accomplished each time he ate one of my concoctions. In terms of the time commitment, I was pleasantly surprised. I estimate that it takes about an hour each weekend to prep everything. Last weekend, I made a ridiculous amount of food so that I wouldn't have to make it again for 3-4 weeks. That took about 3 total hours, but well worth it!
Finding out which foods to serve at each age is the easy part. What no one helps with is how much to feed them and how/when to add meals to the schedule. At around 7 months, we knew that we would need to add a third meal to his schedule. I continually found websites and books that told me to follow my baby's lead. Does anyone else have an issue with this? I have some ideas of when he's hungry or if he doesn't want to eat anymore, but he rarely turns food away. I knew that I would need to make adjustments based on his needs, but I really only wanted a baseline to follow.
The idea of adding a third meal sounds like it would be easy, but it meant changing around the rest of the day. I probably made it harder than it needed to be, but that's just my style. The difficulty for us is that a change in schedule does not only affect us, but it affects Denise (his daycare provider). While we aren't complete sticklers on his feeding and napping schedule, we have to have a basic outline for the day. I debated on what time he should eat...how much he should eat...if he should take a bottle first in the morning or go straight to solids. It's enough to make you go insane. After a lot of searching, I finally found a few websites that listed examples of a feeding schedule for an 8-month old. An overwhelming sense of relief came over me as I read each one and then created something that I thought would work for CJ.
I am happy to say that we added a third meal to the schedule last weekend, changed his last feeding to around 2 hours earlier, and he still managed to sleep through the night. Yeah! I think he likes the new schedule, especially because he now gets little snacks occasionally. We enjoy the new schedule because it allows us to go to bed earlier. :)
My first struggle was in deciding whether I should make or purchase CJ's food. After a little pep talk from my sister Emily, I realized that it probably was not going to be that hard to make his food. In the end, the hippie in me won...or was it the cheapo? I am not a whiz in the kitchen, but how hard could it be to steam veggies and fruits and then puree them? At first, it was that easy. Matt and I picked out the fruits and veggies that we wanted to try early on, and then I started making baby food. While not every batch was perfect, CJ is not a picky eater so it worked out. I actually enjoyed the process. I felt very accomplished each time he ate one of my concoctions. In terms of the time commitment, I was pleasantly surprised. I estimate that it takes about an hour each weekend to prep everything. Last weekend, I made a ridiculous amount of food so that I wouldn't have to make it again for 3-4 weeks. That took about 3 total hours, but well worth it!
Finding out which foods to serve at each age is the easy part. What no one helps with is how much to feed them and how/when to add meals to the schedule. At around 7 months, we knew that we would need to add a third meal to his schedule. I continually found websites and books that told me to follow my baby's lead. Does anyone else have an issue with this? I have some ideas of when he's hungry or if he doesn't want to eat anymore, but he rarely turns food away. I knew that I would need to make adjustments based on his needs, but I really only wanted a baseline to follow.
The idea of adding a third meal sounds like it would be easy, but it meant changing around the rest of the day. I probably made it harder than it needed to be, but that's just my style. The difficulty for us is that a change in schedule does not only affect us, but it affects Denise (his daycare provider). While we aren't complete sticklers on his feeding and napping schedule, we have to have a basic outline for the day. I debated on what time he should eat...how much he should eat...if he should take a bottle first in the morning or go straight to solids. It's enough to make you go insane. After a lot of searching, I finally found a few websites that listed examples of a feeding schedule for an 8-month old. An overwhelming sense of relief came over me as I read each one and then created something that I thought would work for CJ.
I am happy to say that we added a third meal to the schedule last weekend, changed his last feeding to around 2 hours earlier, and he still managed to sleep through the night. Yeah! I think he likes the new schedule, especially because he now gets little snacks occasionally. We enjoy the new schedule because it allows us to go to bed earlier. :)
Monday, August 29, 2011
Special Moments
Last Saturday, we had the pleasure of celebrating a birthday with one of our adoption class friends. Their son turned one year, and invited us to his birthday party! It is the first time we've gotten together with anyone from the class since it ended last year. It was so awesome to catch up with them and hear about their experience (which was strangely similar to ours). I'm hopeful that we can keep in touch with other families from the class too. I think it will be important for CJ to have other friends that were adopted. Maybe it's not as important now, but when he realizes what adoption means, I would like him to have other people in his life who have a similar experience. He may not care, but I'd like it to be an option for him. Here's a picture of CJ & Michael in the pool with their Dads.
Last Monday, CJ and I also shared a moment that I will probably not forget...his first boo boo. He was cruising around the living room in his walker when he found the end table. As he tried to pull everything off of it, he bumped his head on the table (just above his eye). It was one of those slow-motion moments when you know something bad is going to happen but you can't do anything about it. That poor child screamed as if I had cut off an arm. I went over to him and he held up his arms to me. That alone made my heart melt, but then he nuzzled his head into my shoulder after I picked him up. It was the first time that I really felt that I was comforting him. Don't get me wrong, there have been many times when he's cried and I've held him to calm him down. I don't know what made this different, but it was. Obviously my goal is to help him avoid pain, but it was still a moment that we shared.
On Saturday, I had some time alone with CJ while Matt was on his staff retreat. At a few different points, I stopped what I was doing and just watched CJ. I was in complete awe of him. Over the past few weeks, it seems like he is grasping more concepts and understanding more about life. It is so fun to watch him put things together in his mind, or respond to something that I do. Even the small things are amazing to me.
As I was staring at him, I decided to reach into his mouth to see if he had made any progress on a tooth. We knew it would be coming soon, but it didn't seem to be in rush. What do you think I found as I reached in...a tooth that had cut through! I actually teared up a little (please don't make fun of me). My little man is growing up! I was so excited that I pried open his mouth so that I could actually see it. This was not an easy feat because his tongue is constantly in the way. I immediately texted Matt and then, of course, posted it on Facebook. I was pretty amazed that we hadn't experienced any crazy crying or pain. I've heard some horror stories about teething. Well, apparently, the pain was waiting just a bit longer because last night (Sunday) around 4pm he went nuts. You could tell that he was in an extreme amount of pain, and there was no consoling him. We tried the teething tabs (which didn't do anything), Orajel (ditto), and finally ended with Tylenol (which did the trick). In between each attempt, we would put a washcloth in ice water and then let him suck on it. That seemed to help for short periods of time. I felt terrible that we weren't able to do anything more for him. Thankfully, around 6pm the pain had subsided and he was back to his jolly self.
The next milestone will probably be some form of crawling. He is so close...
17 days until our finalization!
Last Monday, CJ and I also shared a moment that I will probably not forget...his first boo boo. He was cruising around the living room in his walker when he found the end table. As he tried to pull everything off of it, he bumped his head on the table (just above his eye). It was one of those slow-motion moments when you know something bad is going to happen but you can't do anything about it. That poor child screamed as if I had cut off an arm. I went over to him and he held up his arms to me. That alone made my heart melt, but then he nuzzled his head into my shoulder after I picked him up. It was the first time that I really felt that I was comforting him. Don't get me wrong, there have been many times when he's cried and I've held him to calm him down. I don't know what made this different, but it was. Obviously my goal is to help him avoid pain, but it was still a moment that we shared.
On Saturday, I had some time alone with CJ while Matt was on his staff retreat. At a few different points, I stopped what I was doing and just watched CJ. I was in complete awe of him. Over the past few weeks, it seems like he is grasping more concepts and understanding more about life. It is so fun to watch him put things together in his mind, or respond to something that I do. Even the small things are amazing to me.
As I was staring at him, I decided to reach into his mouth to see if he had made any progress on a tooth. We knew it would be coming soon, but it didn't seem to be in rush. What do you think I found as I reached in...a tooth that had cut through! I actually teared up a little (please don't make fun of me). My little man is growing up! I was so excited that I pried open his mouth so that I could actually see it. This was not an easy feat because his tongue is constantly in the way. I immediately texted Matt and then, of course, posted it on Facebook. I was pretty amazed that we hadn't experienced any crazy crying or pain. I've heard some horror stories about teething. Well, apparently, the pain was waiting just a bit longer because last night (Sunday) around 4pm he went nuts. You could tell that he was in an extreme amount of pain, and there was no consoling him. We tried the teething tabs (which didn't do anything), Orajel (ditto), and finally ended with Tylenol (which did the trick). In between each attempt, we would put a washcloth in ice water and then let him suck on it. That seemed to help for short periods of time. I felt terrible that we weren't able to do anything more for him. Thankfully, around 6pm the pain had subsided and he was back to his jolly self.
The next milestone will probably be some form of crawling. He is so close...
17 days until our finalization!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Have baby, will travel
We recently returned home after a crazy, but awesome, weekend in Moorhead, MN. We flew out to be a part of my sister Liz's wedding. I will admit that the idea of flying a baby halfway across the country terrified me. I think I was more sensitive about it because I had just read an article about how some people are trying to ban babies from flights, stores, etc. I definitely didn't want to be "that family" who was disrupting the entire flight. I finally realized that CJ has never given us reason to worry about his behavior in the past, so why should this be any different?
Packing was made much easier since we were flying Southwest and didn't have to worry about paying for checked bags. I didn't have to worry about what to bring and what not to bring. While most of his stuff was packed into our checked bags, we had plenty to keep him occupied in his diaper bag. I didn't want to pack too much and put him into sensory overload. We were already going to be in a new environment, so he'd have plenty to keep him interested around the plane. We made sure to have a few pacifiers, food, books and toys. With diaper supplies, a burp cloth and blanket, we were ready to go.
As we boarded for the first leg of the trip, you could see the look on people's faces. "Oh man, someone is bringing a baby on board. Now I'll never be able to rest!" I was determined to prove them wrong. As soon as the plane started, CJ fell asleep. He woke up about 30 minutes before landing, which was time for a bottle, and so most people didn't even realize that we had a baby in our row. The trip from Denver to Minneapolis was about the same. He fell asleep for take off, and then played with his toys once he woke up. You better believe I was thanking God for making CJ so easygoing!
I would say the hardest parts of the trip were driving the four hours from Minneapolis to Fargo, and back again. Both ways we just found places to stop so that he wasn't in his car seat for too long. The biggest worry for me came on Saturday night/Sunday morning. He woke up in the middle of the night, clearly uncomfortable. He was practically inconsolable. We think a tooth is getting close to the surface, so he was probably in a lot of pain. A little bit of baby Tylenol did the trick that night, but what was going to happen on the flights home? To make matters worse, our flight from Chicago was delayed. Thankfully, he did very well on the way home. We had one brief outburst at the very end. He was actually asleep when that happened, but got quiet quickly.
Regardless of the amount of travel required, it was simply amazing to watch him with my family. At our last home visit, Sharon asked us how our family has received CJ. This weekend was just a shining example of how he has been welcomed with open arms and hearts. Everyone clearly loves him, and he clearly loves each of them. I look forward to when he's a bit older and can play with cousin Miles. I have a feeling that those two boys will get themselves into some trouble! :)
31 days until our finalization!
Packing was made much easier since we were flying Southwest and didn't have to worry about paying for checked bags. I didn't have to worry about what to bring and what not to bring. While most of his stuff was packed into our checked bags, we had plenty to keep him occupied in his diaper bag. I didn't want to pack too much and put him into sensory overload. We were already going to be in a new environment, so he'd have plenty to keep him interested around the plane. We made sure to have a few pacifiers, food, books and toys. With diaper supplies, a burp cloth and blanket, we were ready to go.
As we boarded for the first leg of the trip, you could see the look on people's faces. "Oh man, someone is bringing a baby on board. Now I'll never be able to rest!" I was determined to prove them wrong. As soon as the plane started, CJ fell asleep. He woke up about 30 minutes before landing, which was time for a bottle, and so most people didn't even realize that we had a baby in our row. The trip from Denver to Minneapolis was about the same. He fell asleep for take off, and then played with his toys once he woke up. You better believe I was thanking God for making CJ so easygoing!
I would say the hardest parts of the trip were driving the four hours from Minneapolis to Fargo, and back again. Both ways we just found places to stop so that he wasn't in his car seat for too long. The biggest worry for me came on Saturday night/Sunday morning. He woke up in the middle of the night, clearly uncomfortable. He was practically inconsolable. We think a tooth is getting close to the surface, so he was probably in a lot of pain. A little bit of baby Tylenol did the trick that night, but what was going to happen on the flights home? To make matters worse, our flight from Chicago was delayed. Thankfully, he did very well on the way home. We had one brief outburst at the very end. He was actually asleep when that happened, but got quiet quickly.
Regardless of the amount of travel required, it was simply amazing to watch him with my family. At our last home visit, Sharon asked us how our family has received CJ. This weekend was just a shining example of how he has been welcomed with open arms and hearts. Everyone clearly loves him, and he clearly loves each of them. I look forward to when he's a bit older and can play with cousin Miles. I have a feeling that those two boys will get themselves into some trouble! :)
31 days until our finalization!
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