It's a...

Drumroll, please!

The newest Fischer will be a...BOY! And he will be here August 4th. Yes, you read that correctly. The baby that we thought was due in September/October is actually due in 8 weeks. Further proof that God has an amazing sense of humor!

Fischer, party of...5?!

Over the past year, we've been trying to discern whether or not God has planned more children for our family. With all of the ups and downs of our process with Alex, I was starting to wonder if maybe we should just be grateful that God had blessed us with CJ and stop focusing on adding more children. I had hoped we would have one more child, but realized that maybe God's plan was just different from my own. Well, we found out recently that His plan is different, but not in the way we expected.

About a month ago, I posted that our case with Alex had been closed by the state of Arizona. What I did not mention was that CJ's birthmom is pregnant and she asked us to adopt the new baby. We were a little hesitant to share with you all, just in case plans changed. A week after she asked us to adopt the baby, she confirmed her decision. Funny how God's timing works. The day that we found out our case was closed, we also found out that we may be bringing home a new baby in the fall. We do not have a set due date yet, but believe that it will be in September or October. We also do not know the gender (because I know you were wondering).

The adoption agency we are working with here in Vegas is also able to work in Arizona, which is wonderful! The experience we've had with them so far has been great and we are very excited to work with them. I just submitted our paperwork today. Once our fingerprints and references come back, our home study process will begin.

Then, two weeks ago, I received a call from Alex's birthdad. He shared that they would like us to adopt Alex in addition to the new baby. While this was not the call we were expecting, we were certainly excited (and a little overwhelmed). It was confirmed a few days later, and we are now waiting on paperwork to go through for us to pick him up.

Our ICPC (documentation that allows us to bring Alex across state lines) and our foster license are expired, so we are working on getting those current again. We'll have to have a home visit, but most of the work was done when we got licensed the first time.

I would never have guessed that God would bless us with two more children. I definitely would not have guessed that CJ would have biological siblings living in our home. Part of me is a little terrified to grow our family so fast, but I believe that God will give us the strength and resources we need to raise these little ones.

Your prayers are appreciated as we make these transitions. Alex will probably be about 18 months old when we get custody, which will be a difficult time for him. We don't really even know when to expect the new baby. We also worry about the impact all of this will have on CJ. We will regularly post updates on the progress of adopting both children.

Taking time to play

Last night, I did something that I have not done in a long time. After the girls I watch were picked up, I did nothing but play with CJ until Matt got home from work. Please don't think that I completely ignore CJ in the evening (if you've met him you would know that would be impossible). Typically, I will play with him in brief spurts, in between cleaning up and making dinner. I allow my to-do list to take charge.

I'll admit, at first I did start to clean up a few things around the house. CJ walked over and asked "Mom, do you want to play with me?" I paused for a moment and realized that there will quickly come a time when he stops asking me that question. Despite the house being a little messy and dinner needing to be made, I opted to play.

We went out into the backyard and had a water gun fight. It was awesome! We laughed, screamed, and ran around the backyard soaking wet. For 30 minutes this went on. It was not until Matt got home from work that I realized that I really needed to make dinner because he had to leave soon for bible study.

After dinner, CJ and I took Kiko on a walk and went to the library. We got back from the library and got in his space ship (aka the space between our couches) and flew to McDonalds where he ordered chicken nuggets and a hamburger. After our delicious "dinner," he used ribbons to make me look like a princess and we flew home.

I couldn't have had more fun if I tried!

CJ's behavior has been a bit of an issue lately, but last night, he was great. Over the past few months, I've spent so much time trying to find solutions to his behavior. We've tried everything...or so I thought. Instead of changing CJ, I should have been looking at how to change my own behavior. I firmly believe that kids need time to play by themselves, but I also think that they need focused 1:1 time with mom and/or dad.

I am setting a goal to not be so focused on my to-do list. I want to take advantage of the opportunities to have a water gun fight or take CJ's space ship to McDonalds. I want to ignore the clutter and just have fun!

Mother's Day

I always experience a bit of sadness on Mother's Day. Don't get me wrong, it is one of the more important holidays in my book. After having so much trouble growing our family, I wasn't shy about telling Matt how important it was to me (hint, hint). I have to give him credit; he has always done well celebrating this day for me.

What saddens is me thinking of all the women who dread this day because they are so desperate to grow their family. The women who are experiencing infertility. The women who have lost children through miscarriage (or after birth). The women who placed their children into forever families through adoption. The women who don't want to go to church because it is another reminder that they have yet to have children. The women who avoid Facebook because of all of us who boast about our children and what a blessing they are.

For these women, I pray. I ask God to give them peace and patience as they wait for God's plan to come to fruition. I beg Him to let them see joy in other aspects of their lives. I pray that they do not give up hope.

I also grow a little sad thinking of Brooke (CJ's birthmom). I wonder if this day affects her. I am curious if she has any regrets. Regardless of whether or not she is parenting her biological children, she is a mother. I spend a good portion of Mother's Day thinking of her each year. Without her, I would not have this very special title. I hope that as CJ grows up, he understands that she is a very important part of his life, even if he does not see her on a regular basis.

Let me end by saying that I am very grateful that God has blessed us with a beautiful, healthy, often crazy little boy. I thank God daily that I was chosen to be his mother. Despite the moments when I want to pull my hair out (or drink large quantities of wine), I am thankful that I can be called "mommy."

The Power of Community

Over the past few weeks, I've had two good friends deal with very difficult times. In those scary moments, I have been reminded about the power of community. Within hours of each situation, our group of friends had taken care of the basic needs - meals, childcare and lots of prayers. As I've processed what the last two weeks have brought, I've realized that community provides so much more than tangible things.

I think we often downplay the importance of relationships, especially as mothers (and fathers if any guys are reading this). So frequently, we feel that we need to prove ourselves by taking care of everything. We want to put on a strong front and make people believe that we are maintaining complete sanity at all times. The problem is that we can't do that. Literally. We are not capable of handling everything that comes up in our lives by ourselves. Even if we could, would you really want to? That is a lot of pressure!

I find myself completely guilty of trying to be some type of supermom. Unfortunately, I often turn into a super mess in those moments. Why do I feel the need to act like I've got it all together? Usually, it's pretty clear that I do not have things together. Not even a little bit.

My friends remind me that it's ok to be a mess sometimes. They have seen me wear the same thing back-to-back days. They know that when my hair is up it means I haven't washed it in two days. They have seen me lose my cool with CJ. They know that my Type A personality gets in the way more than I'd like to admit. They have seen my house in a complete disarray. Even through all of that, they love me. There is no judgment.

I consider myself blessed that I have such dear friends that I can call on at anytime for any reason. Over the past two years, these women have prayed for me, encouraged me, held me accountable, made me laugh and poured me lots of glasses of wine. :) I hope that each of you has a strong community that you can rely on at all times!

One door closes...

This may be my most generic post ever, but there are certain details that are just not mine to share. I want to be respectful of our birthmom, and so I'm not going to share as much as I usually do.

As you may know, we've been in the middle of a very bizarre situation for the past 14 months. We had offered to take temporary custody of CJ's half-brother for a short period of time (at the request of his birthmom). He was born in February 2013 and while I was there just after he was born, we did not end up bringing him home. We went through a variety of bumps, hills, and valleys along the way and ultimately never did get custody.

Last week, we were informed that the state of Arizona has closed our case. This means that we are no longer an option for taking custody of CJ's brother.

Friends and family have asked how we feel about things. I can honestly say that I feel ok with where we are right now. I spoke with CJ's birthmom a few weeks ago, and that conversation helped me to see that she is in a much better place right now. Part of me is still a little disappointed in the time, effort and money that we invested in the process, but I trust that the Lord is still working in this situation.

We are trying to figure out God's plan for us at this point. As we make decisions about our family, I'll let you know. :)

Too cliche?

An adoption Facebook group posted a question this morning to adoptive parents, and it got me thinking. The question was:

Your child asks you, "Why did you adopt me?" How do you respond?

As I read through the answers, they bothered me a little. With one exception, they were all basically the same. "You had been growing in our hearts." "We needed you in our family." "We prayed and God gave you to us." "We loved you before we knew you, and then you joined our family."

Don't get me wrong, all of those answers are true and from the heart. I just feel like they are a little too cliche. Obviously, when CJ asks me this question, my response will depend on his age. However, I feel like if a child is aware enough to ask the question, they are probably mature enough for a deeper answer. But, how much is too much? At what age do I acknowledge that we are not able to have biological children. When do I share that his birthmom simply wasn't able to care for him?

I think I have some time before CJ really starts asking questions, but it can't hurt to think about it now. As always, my best bet is simply to take it to God. I am already praying that we handle it appropriately when the time comes. I ask God regularly to give us the words and wisdom to help CJ understand his adoption and work through any issues that may arise.

Maybe those answers are too cliche, but maybe there is such a thing as too much information...I just hope I find the right balance when the time comes.