An answer to prayer...we went in yesterday to sign documents with the Maricopa County Attorney's Office. This puts us one step closer to finalizing CJ's adoption. I was actually nervous as we drove down to Mesa yesterday. The woman we met with, Kim, was very nice and walked us through the rest of the process. Thankfully, there isn't too much left!
They will file everything with the court, and we should be able to find out our court date on July 11th. Our date should be within the next 90 days, although it could be much sooner than that. We will go to the Mesa location for our finalization, which Kim said was a good thing. It sounds like they get families on the court docket a little faster than the Phoenix location. Sounds good to me!
It's funny, sometimes I forget that we are still in the process of adopting CJ. At home, we're constantly living in the moment, and watching him grow and develop. It isn't until we get a phone call or letter that I realize that we are not legally his parents yet. I take that to mean that we've adjusted well to each other. At this point, it's hard to remember our lives B.C. (before Caleb).
I also want to throw in a little something about Father's Day. I just realized that I didn't post anything, and I thought it was important to put at least a few sentiments into this post. I've waited a long time to be able to tell Matt "Happy Father's Day," and I know he's been waiting a long time to hear those words. Sometimes I forget how blessed I am to be married to such a great guy. I take it for granted that he is an honest, faithful and loving provider for our family. I know that he has made sacrifices since we welcomed CJ in January, and I hope he realizes how much I appreciate that. I have told him, but I know I need to be more intentional about showing my appreciation. I am so grateful for all that he does. He is a wonderful role model for CJ!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
CJ's First Road Trip!
This past weekend, we loaded up the car and headed to Flagstaff for a few days. Thanks to the generosity of a family at Matt’s school, we were able to stay in a cabin with CJ’s godparents (and our dear friends) Tim & Lisa. As we planned for the trip, I was so excited. We were going to Antelope Canyon on Saturday, Sedona on Sunday, and taking lots of opportunities to just relax. About a week before the trip, I realized that I was going to have to pack for a baby! Holy cow…
So I did what any Type A person would do, I made a list. I mentally went through the day, and wrote down everything that we use. As I wrote, I could not believe how much goes into the day of a baby. When you are at home, you take for granted the fact that everything is right there at your fingertips. Even getting him ready for daycare wasn’t that bad because I didn’t have to worry about activities or a bed. A road trip was a whole different scenario!
At one point, I definitely got a little concerned that we wouldn’t have enough room in the trunk. Mind you, we were taking our SUV, so there should have been ample space for all of the luggage. I put all of the “necessities” in a stack on our bed, took one look, and realized that I would have to cut it down. After some work, I got it down to a manageable size, but there was still a lot of stuff. The Pack & Play, Bumbo, and Boppy were necessities in my mind. We needed places for him to sleep, eat and relax. Unfortunately, he did not like sleeping in the Pack & Play, so we had to use his car seat at night. Not ideal, but it did help with his congestion (we think from the altitude change). Other than food, diapers/wipes, clothes and blankets, we really didn’t need much else. I think because we have so many other baby items, we feel like he can’t live without them. I just had to keep reminding myself that as long as he is clean, rested and fed, he’s a pretty happy guy. We didn’t need to worry about bringing much else. After all, his favorite “toy” right now is a burp cloth.
Ultimately, we had a great time. Even hiking wasn’t difficult with him, although those baby carriers make you really hot. While we didn’t have all of the luxuries of being at our house, we had enough to get by. It was a nice trial run. This summer, we’ll be traveling to two weddings (one includes flying), so we now have a better idea of how to prepare.
I hope that we continue to do things like this. I really want CJ to experience as much as possible, even though he is just a baby right now. Hopefully, we can get him used to going different places, so that he stays somewhat flexible with his schedule. We’ll see…
So I did what any Type A person would do, I made a list. I mentally went through the day, and wrote down everything that we use. As I wrote, I could not believe how much goes into the day of a baby. When you are at home, you take for granted the fact that everything is right there at your fingertips. Even getting him ready for daycare wasn’t that bad because I didn’t have to worry about activities or a bed. A road trip was a whole different scenario!
At one point, I definitely got a little concerned that we wouldn’t have enough room in the trunk. Mind you, we were taking our SUV, so there should have been ample space for all of the luggage. I put all of the “necessities” in a stack on our bed, took one look, and realized that I would have to cut it down. After some work, I got it down to a manageable size, but there was still a lot of stuff. The Pack & Play, Bumbo, and Boppy were necessities in my mind. We needed places for him to sleep, eat and relax. Unfortunately, he did not like sleeping in the Pack & Play, so we had to use his car seat at night. Not ideal, but it did help with his congestion (we think from the altitude change). Other than food, diapers/wipes, clothes and blankets, we really didn’t need much else. I think because we have so many other baby items, we feel like he can’t live without them. I just had to keep reminding myself that as long as he is clean, rested and fed, he’s a pretty happy guy. We didn’t need to worry about bringing much else. After all, his favorite “toy” right now is a burp cloth.
Ultimately, we had a great time. Even hiking wasn’t difficult with him, although those baby carriers make you really hot. While we didn’t have all of the luxuries of being at our house, we had enough to get by. It was a nice trial run. This summer, we’ll be traveling to two weddings (one includes flying), so we now have a better idea of how to prepare.
I hope that we continue to do things like this. I really want CJ to experience as much as possible, even though he is just a baby right now. Hopefully, we can get him used to going different places, so that he stays somewhat flexible with his schedule. We’ll see…
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
On the move!
Well, in less than 24 hours, CJ hit not one, but two milestones. Within just a few short hours of posting an update about his first experience with rice cereal, I have another big piece of news to report. He has rolled over! Sadly, I had just gone out to run a few errands. Not to worry, he graciously rolled over again this morning so that I could witness his big accomplishment.
As I mentioned a few posts ago, he had been getting very close to rolling over. He just couldn't figure out how to move that back leg. Last night, he got so frustrated on his back that he kicked over and made the full rotation.
My worry was that he was going to roll while at daycare, which would have made sense because he is there for a good portion of the day. I just wanted to be there to witness it. Well, it didn't happen at daycare, but I sure did miss it. :( I literally had been gone only 15 minutes...go figure. Matt called me and the first words out of his mouth were "you're gonna be mad." I assumed something had broken or spilled. I was so bummed to find out what I'd missed! If I'd just left a little later, I could have been there. Oh well. What are you going to do? Thankfully, he did it again this morning for me. Big smiles!
As soon as he rolled this morning, we commented that we'll need to be more careful about leaving him alone now. Before, if I put him on our obnoxiously large ottoman, it was no big deal. Now, one roll and he's practically at the edge! As we were talking about this, we both went into the kitchen to clean up our breakfast dishes. CJ made a weird sound, so I peeked around the corner. I'm sure you can guess what he'd done. No, he had not rolled off the ottoman, but he had rolled over again. That just confirmed our earlier conversation!
All of this excitement further proved that these milestones are going to start coming fast. Every day he is picking up something else. It is simply amazing to watch him grasp a new action or idea.
I'm definitely one proud mama!
As I mentioned a few posts ago, he had been getting very close to rolling over. He just couldn't figure out how to move that back leg. Last night, he got so frustrated on his back that he kicked over and made the full rotation.
My worry was that he was going to roll while at daycare, which would have made sense because he is there for a good portion of the day. I just wanted to be there to witness it. Well, it didn't happen at daycare, but I sure did miss it. :( I literally had been gone only 15 minutes...go figure. Matt called me and the first words out of his mouth were "you're gonna be mad." I assumed something had broken or spilled. I was so bummed to find out what I'd missed! If I'd just left a little later, I could have been there. Oh well. What are you going to do? Thankfully, he did it again this morning for me. Big smiles!
As soon as he rolled this morning, we commented that we'll need to be more careful about leaving him alone now. Before, if I put him on our obnoxiously large ottoman, it was no big deal. Now, one roll and he's practically at the edge! As we were talking about this, we both went into the kitchen to clean up our breakfast dishes. CJ made a weird sound, so I peeked around the corner. I'm sure you can guess what he'd done. No, he had not rolled off the ottoman, but he had rolled over again. That just confirmed our earlier conversation!
All of this excitement further proved that these milestones are going to start coming fast. Every day he is picking up something else. It is simply amazing to watch him grasp a new action or idea.
I'm definitely one proud mama!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
A meal fit for a king!
This past weekend, CJ hit a milestone - first solid food! Now, if someone had fed me the same mixture, I would have considered a liquid. In CJ's world, it was definitely thicker than his average meal.
After our four month check up a few weeks ago, we had been trying to decide when to start CJ on solid foods. While I was excited, the thought of adding something else to the mix was a little intimidating. After all, I can handle making a bottle! Once we start on solids, there is no turning back. As you probably know, CJ is quite the eater, and it became clear that he was ready to try some rice cereal. We figured that we'd give it a shot. If he didn't respond well, then we would just wait a week or two and then try again.
Yesterday, we got him up and started the preparations. You would have thought we were fixing him a steak dinner for as much effort as we put into this process. Matt got him ready while I concocted CJ's breakfast of champions. Then, the moment arrived. Matt brought him down and put him in his high chair (which has an awesome recline feature). I let Matt handle the first bites while I took care of the video and pictures. Bite one...gobbled it up! I don't think he really knew what it was at first, but that didn't stop him from wanting more. In fact, he literally would start crying in between bites because we were taking too long. If you've seen pictures of CJ recently, you would know that he is far from starving, so it was a little comical that he would get so upset.
He finished all of the cereal we had prepared and would probably have gone for seconds if we had allowed it. Instead, he washed it down with the rest of his bottle.
Success! We got video footage, great pictures, and not as much mess as we had anticipated. Our little man is a great eater!
This morning was day two of the rice cereal experience. Not only did he gobble it up again, he opened up his mouth every time the spoon got close. It was hilarious to watch. We still have to wait a few days to make sure that the cereal doesn't have any adverse affects on his digestive system. If everything works the way it is supposed to, then we'll add a second meal each day.
We've made the cereal pretty thin these first two days, so the next step will be to thicken it up a bit. Soon enough, we will be adding veggies and fruits to the mix. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should make my own baby food, or just buy it. I know how much money it would save to make our own, but am I willing to invest the time. My cheapness is leaning toward making my own, but we'll see.
I will admit that I had a moment this morning. While I was spooning in the rice cereal, I realized that he is growing up. He even looked like a little man sitting in his high chair. One step at a time, he is moving farther away from being a baby. Exciting and sad, all at the same time.
After our four month check up a few weeks ago, we had been trying to decide when to start CJ on solid foods. While I was excited, the thought of adding something else to the mix was a little intimidating. After all, I can handle making a bottle! Once we start on solids, there is no turning back. As you probably know, CJ is quite the eater, and it became clear that he was ready to try some rice cereal. We figured that we'd give it a shot. If he didn't respond well, then we would just wait a week or two and then try again.
Yesterday, we got him up and started the preparations. You would have thought we were fixing him a steak dinner for as much effort as we put into this process. Matt got him ready while I concocted CJ's breakfast of champions. Then, the moment arrived. Matt brought him down and put him in his high chair (which has an awesome recline feature). I let Matt handle the first bites while I took care of the video and pictures. Bite one...gobbled it up! I don't think he really knew what it was at first, but that didn't stop him from wanting more. In fact, he literally would start crying in between bites because we were taking too long. If you've seen pictures of CJ recently, you would know that he is far from starving, so it was a little comical that he would get so upset.
He finished all of the cereal we had prepared and would probably have gone for seconds if we had allowed it. Instead, he washed it down with the rest of his bottle.
Success! We got video footage, great pictures, and not as much mess as we had anticipated. Our little man is a great eater!
This morning was day two of the rice cereal experience. Not only did he gobble it up again, he opened up his mouth every time the spoon got close. It was hilarious to watch. We still have to wait a few days to make sure that the cereal doesn't have any adverse affects on his digestive system. If everything works the way it is supposed to, then we'll add a second meal each day.
We've made the cereal pretty thin these first two days, so the next step will be to thicken it up a bit. Soon enough, we will be adding veggies and fruits to the mix. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should make my own baby food, or just buy it. I know how much money it would save to make our own, but am I willing to invest the time. My cheapness is leaning toward making my own, but we'll see.
I will admit that I had a moment this morning. While I was spooning in the rice cereal, I realized that he is growing up. He even looked like a little man sitting in his high chair. One step at a time, he is moving farther away from being a baby. Exciting and sad, all at the same time.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Trying to be patient!
In many of my earlier posts, I commented on how much patience I was having to develop as we waited to be placed with a baby. I am not sure why, but I figured that once we brought our little man home, the waiting would be over. Guess what...I was wrong! The waiting continues! We are still waiting to hear from the County Attorney's office. They will have us come in to sign a petition to adopt. Then, more waiting. After that has been filed, we will be assigned a court date to finalize the adoption. Then, and only then, will our waiting be over.
I am trying to be patient; after all, we have a beatiful baby boy at home to keep us busy. There are a million things to keep my mind off of the adoption process and on our little man. While I know that he is part of our family, I would really like to have that recognized by the state. Ok, now is the point when you say "but you only brought him home four months ago" and when I reply "yes, I realize that." You should know me well enough to realize that I am impatient.
In the meantime, we get to enjoy all of the little milestones that CJ has been hitting, or that are coming soon. He is now reaching for things and pulling them towards his mouth (of course). He follows objects with his eyes and "talks" to us. He also giggles when we make funny faces or noises. There is no greater satisfaction than having a baby laugh at something you do.
Any day now, he will roll over for the first time. He's almost there, but can't quite swing one leg over. We'll be starting solid foods in the next few weeks, which will definitely be put on video for all to enjoy. I just read today that we are quickly approaching the time when babies sit up. I am amazed by how much they change in such a short period of time. Every day he figures something out, and every day I am convinced that my son is a genius!
I realize that I need to update our blog pictures since none of them include CJ. I will do that soon, I promise!
I am trying to be patient; after all, we have a beatiful baby boy at home to keep us busy. There are a million things to keep my mind off of the adoption process and on our little man. While I know that he is part of our family, I would really like to have that recognized by the state. Ok, now is the point when you say "but you only brought him home four months ago" and when I reply "yes, I realize that." You should know me well enough to realize that I am impatient.
In the meantime, we get to enjoy all of the little milestones that CJ has been hitting, or that are coming soon. He is now reaching for things and pulling them towards his mouth (of course). He follows objects with his eyes and "talks" to us. He also giggles when we make funny faces or noises. There is no greater satisfaction than having a baby laugh at something you do.
Any day now, he will roll over for the first time. He's almost there, but can't quite swing one leg over. We'll be starting solid foods in the next few weeks, which will definitely be put on video for all to enjoy. I just read today that we are quickly approaching the time when babies sit up. I am amazed by how much they change in such a short period of time. Every day he figures something out, and every day I am convinced that my son is a genius!
I realize that I need to update our blog pictures since none of them include CJ. I will do that soon, I promise!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Happy Mother's Day
With tomorrow being Mother's Day, I thought this would be a perfect time to write a post. I have literally waited five years for my turn to celebrate this special day. Don’t get me wrong, I hope to celebrate like I just won the lottery, because that is how I feel. God has given me a gift that is priceless – my little CJ. While I am celebrating, there are a lot of women who struggle with this day. I have thought a lot about how Mother’s Day affected me while we were waiting for a child. As you read this, just know that I always celebrate(d) the mothers in my life. I do not want to take anything away from them, or the amazing job that they do every day. For the purposes of this blog, I’m focusing on myself (selfish, yes, but it was my reality).
The first year or two, I didn’t mind Mother’s Day. There was so much hope that we would get pregnant quickly. After all, it had been almost immediate for many of our friends. In my heart and head, I congratulated myself on the mother that I would be one day. I celebrated my future children and the work that I would put into parenting.
As the years past, and still no baby, I started to dread the second Sunday in May each year. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't like going to church because they always ask the mothers to stand up; yet another reminder that I was not part of that elite group. While I wanted to hide my head in the sand for that day, I felt guilty that I was focusing on myself when so many mothers were deserving of praise.
By the fifth year, I started to think my turn would never come. We had just started the adoption process and I was sure that we would be the couple who didn’t get placed. It’s funny how your mind goes straight for the internal pity party. While I can look back and realize how silly it was, I recognize that a lot of women feel the same way. I don’t think it is something that we should be ashamed of. Yes, it may be selfish, but you cannot help how you feel. The worst thing you can do, which is what I did, is to pretend like it doesn’t bother you. If you’re waiting for a child to enter your family and have similar feelings, please find a method of releasing your frustration.
As you look forward to celebrating the special moms in your life, please be sensitive to those around you. You never know who is struggling with the desire to be a mom. If you know of a women who is trying to conceive or waiting to adopt, please don’t say things like “You’re day will come” or “You’re a mother at heart.” It doesn’t help (especially if you haven't had difficulty conceiving). I’m not asking you to avoid celebration. Mothers work harder than most, and deserve to be treated like queens. I’m just asking you to be more aware. While waiting for my day to come was frustrating at times, I am now experiencing more joy than I could imagine. If you are waiting for your little angel, just know that I have you in my prayers.
I am so grateful for all of the mothers in my life. Specifically, my mom, sister and mother-in-law. I appreciate all you’ve done to teach me how to be a good mom. I hope I can be as good to my son as you have been to me. I love you!
The first year or two, I didn’t mind Mother’s Day. There was so much hope that we would get pregnant quickly. After all, it had been almost immediate for many of our friends. In my heart and head, I congratulated myself on the mother that I would be one day. I celebrated my future children and the work that I would put into parenting.
As the years past, and still no baby, I started to dread the second Sunday in May each year. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't like going to church because they always ask the mothers to stand up; yet another reminder that I was not part of that elite group. While I wanted to hide my head in the sand for that day, I felt guilty that I was focusing on myself when so many mothers were deserving of praise.
By the fifth year, I started to think my turn would never come. We had just started the adoption process and I was sure that we would be the couple who didn’t get placed. It’s funny how your mind goes straight for the internal pity party. While I can look back and realize how silly it was, I recognize that a lot of women feel the same way. I don’t think it is something that we should be ashamed of. Yes, it may be selfish, but you cannot help how you feel. The worst thing you can do, which is what I did, is to pretend like it doesn’t bother you. If you’re waiting for a child to enter your family and have similar feelings, please find a method of releasing your frustration.
As you look forward to celebrating the special moms in your life, please be sensitive to those around you. You never know who is struggling with the desire to be a mom. If you know of a women who is trying to conceive or waiting to adopt, please don’t say things like “You’re day will come” or “You’re a mother at heart.” It doesn’t help (especially if you haven't had difficulty conceiving). I’m not asking you to avoid celebration. Mothers work harder than most, and deserve to be treated like queens. I’m just asking you to be more aware. While waiting for my day to come was frustrating at times, I am now experiencing more joy than I could imagine. If you are waiting for your little angel, just know that I have you in my prayers.
I am so grateful for all of the mothers in my life. Specifically, my mom, sister and mother-in-law. I appreciate all you’ve done to teach me how to be a good mom. I hope I can be as good to my son as you have been to me. I love you!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Post-placement visits
We had our second post-placement visit today. These aren't usually something I worry about. We really like Sharon, our counselor, so the conversation usually flows pretty well. The visits are really just intended to see how things are going at home, and to find out how we're adjusting to our new life. Questions come up about his eating, sleeping, behavior patterns and our relationship. The visits are every 90 days until the adoption is finalized. God willing, today was our last visit.
It's not that I mind answering questions about life with CJ; at least I know the answers. Today, I felt a little judged. I have been going back and forth with feeling good about going back to work full time. I love my job, and I don't know that I would be good at staying home full time. On the other hand, I have to watch other people raise my son. Thank goodness that Matt is able to be with him during all school breaks or I would probably go crazy.
I should preface this by sharing that CJ goes to three different people during the week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday he goes to an in-home daycare with Denise. Tuesdays he's with Amanda and Thursdays he's with Ashley.
The question came up about daycare during our visit today, and I answered with a certain level of confidence. After all, we like the women who are helping us, and are very comfortable with having CJ stay with them during the day. Sharon shared that they suggest trying to limit how many people are with adopted children so that attachment issues don't arise. Inside, I got really defensive. Outside, I just smiled. That was a dagger through the heart. As if I don't feel bad enough about having him in daycare. I understand the attachment issues that may come up, but I'm pretty sure he knows that Matt and I are different from everyone else.
I know that a lack of confidence is present in a lot of first-time moms, but I think adoption throws another level of craziness into the mix. Not only am I trying to figure out parenting, but I also have to explain myself to someone every 90 days. I also feel a higher level of responsibility because he isn't technically my son yet. I feel as though I have to keep proving myself in order for this to be finalized.
Please don't think Sharon is some horrible person who is looking for problems within our family. She is wonderful and truly cares about CJ's well-being, as well as our sanity. Mother Teresa could ask me the same questions and I would feel equally judged by her.
It's not that I mind answering questions about life with CJ; at least I know the answers. Today, I felt a little judged. I have been going back and forth with feeling good about going back to work full time. I love my job, and I don't know that I would be good at staying home full time. On the other hand, I have to watch other people raise my son. Thank goodness that Matt is able to be with him during all school breaks or I would probably go crazy.
I should preface this by sharing that CJ goes to three different people during the week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday he goes to an in-home daycare with Denise. Tuesdays he's with Amanda and Thursdays he's with Ashley.
The question came up about daycare during our visit today, and I answered with a certain level of confidence. After all, we like the women who are helping us, and are very comfortable with having CJ stay with them during the day. Sharon shared that they suggest trying to limit how many people are with adopted children so that attachment issues don't arise. Inside, I got really defensive. Outside, I just smiled. That was a dagger through the heart. As if I don't feel bad enough about having him in daycare. I understand the attachment issues that may come up, but I'm pretty sure he knows that Matt and I are different from everyone else.
I know that a lack of confidence is present in a lot of first-time moms, but I think adoption throws another level of craziness into the mix. Not only am I trying to figure out parenting, but I also have to explain myself to someone every 90 days. I also feel a higher level of responsibility because he isn't technically my son yet. I feel as though I have to keep proving myself in order for this to be finalized.
Please don't think Sharon is some horrible person who is looking for problems within our family. She is wonderful and truly cares about CJ's well-being, as well as our sanity. Mother Teresa could ask me the same questions and I would feel equally judged by her.
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