Special Moments

Last Saturday, we had the pleasure of celebrating a birthday with one of our adoption class friends. Their son turned one year, and invited us to his birthday party! It is the first time we've gotten together with anyone from the class since it ended last year. It was so awesome to catch up with them and hear about their experience (which was strangely similar to ours). I'm hopeful that we can keep in touch with other families from the class too. I think it will be important for CJ to have other friends that were adopted. Maybe it's not as important now, but when he realizes what adoption means, I would like him to have other people in his life who have a similar experience. He may not care, but I'd like it to be an option for him. Here's a picture of CJ & Michael in the pool with their Dads.



Last Monday, CJ and I also shared a moment that I will probably not forget...his first boo boo. He was cruising around the living room in his walker when he found the end table. As he tried to pull everything off of it, he bumped his head on the table (just above his eye). It was one of those slow-motion moments when you know something bad is going to happen but you can't do anything about it. That poor child screamed as if I had cut off an arm. I went over to him and he held up his arms to me. That alone made my heart melt, but then he nuzzled his head into my shoulder after I picked him up. It was the first time that I really felt that I was comforting him. Don't get me wrong, there have been many times when he's cried and I've held him to calm him down. I don't know what made this different, but it was. Obviously my goal is to help him avoid pain, but it was still a moment that we shared.


On Saturday, I had some time alone with CJ while Matt was on his staff retreat. At a few different points, I stopped what I was doing and just watched CJ. I was in complete awe of him. Over the past few weeks, it seems like he is grasping more concepts and understanding more about life. It is so fun to watch him put things together in his mind, or respond to something that I do. Even the small things are amazing to me.


As I was staring at him, I decided to reach into his mouth to see if he had made any progress on a tooth. We knew it would be coming soon, but it didn't seem to be in rush. What do you think I found as I reached in...a tooth that had cut through! I actually teared up a little (please don't make fun of me). My little man is growing up! I was so excited that I pried open his mouth so that I could actually see it. This was not an easy feat because his tongue is constantly in the way. I immediately texted Matt and then, of course, posted it on Facebook. I was pretty amazed that we hadn't experienced any crazy crying or pain. I've heard some horror stories about teething. Well, apparently, the pain was waiting just a bit longer because last night (Sunday) around 4pm he went nuts. You could tell that he was in an extreme amount of pain, and there was no consoling him. We tried the teething tabs (which didn't do anything), Orajel (ditto), and finally ended with Tylenol (which did the trick). In between each attempt, we would put a washcloth in ice water and then let him suck on it. That seemed to help for short periods of time. I felt terrible that we weren't able to do anything more for him. Thankfully, around 6pm the pain had subsided and he was back to his jolly self.


The next milestone will probably be some form of crawling. He is so close...


17 days until our finalization!

Have baby, will travel

We recently returned home after a crazy, but awesome, weekend in Moorhead, MN. We flew out to be a part of my sister Liz's wedding. I will admit that the idea of flying a baby halfway across the country terrified me. I think I was more sensitive about it because I had just read an article about how some people are trying to ban babies from flights, stores, etc. I definitely didn't want to be "that family" who was disrupting the entire flight. I finally realized that CJ has never given us reason to worry about his behavior in the past, so why should this be any different?

Packing was made much easier since we were flying Southwest and didn't have to worry about paying for checked bags. I didn't have to worry about what to bring and what not to bring. While most of his stuff was packed into our checked bags, we had plenty to keep him occupied in his diaper bag. I didn't want to pack too much and put him into sensory overload. We were already going to be in a new environment, so he'd have plenty to keep him interested around the plane. We made sure to have a few pacifiers, food, books and toys. With diaper supplies, a burp cloth and blanket, we were ready to go.

As we boarded for the first leg of the trip, you could see the look on people's faces. "Oh man, someone is bringing a baby on board. Now I'll never be able to rest!" I was determined to prove them wrong. As soon as the plane started, CJ fell asleep. He woke up about 30 minutes before landing, which was time for a bottle, and so most people didn't even realize that we had a baby in our row. The trip from Denver to Minneapolis was about the same. He fell asleep for take off, and then played with his toys once he woke up. You better believe I was thanking God for making CJ so easygoing!





I would say the hardest parts of the trip were driving the four hours from Minneapolis to Fargo, and back again. Both ways we just found places to stop so that he wasn't in his car seat for too long. The biggest worry for me came on Saturday night/Sunday morning. He woke up in the middle of the night, clearly uncomfortable. He was practically inconsolable. We think a tooth is getting close to the surface, so he was probably in a lot of pain. A little bit of baby Tylenol did the trick that night, but what was going to happen on the flights home? To make matters worse, our flight from Chicago was delayed. Thankfully, he did very well on the way home. We had one brief outburst at the very end. He was actually asleep when that happened, but got quiet quickly.

Regardless of the amount of travel required, it was simply amazing to watch him with my family. At our last home visit, Sharon asked us how our family has received CJ. This weekend was just a shining example of how he has been welcomed with open arms and hearts. Everyone clearly loves him, and he clearly loves each of them. I look forward to when he's a bit older and can play with cousin Miles. I have a feeling that those two boys will get themselves into some trouble! :)

31 days until our finalization!

A few thoughts...

As we get closer to our finalization (56 days), I have a lot going through my head.

Last week, I met up with some ladies from my church for a "moms group" event. They were all very sweet, and it was great to meet other women in the church. As we talked about kids, the conversation moved to childbirth. Obviously, my experience was very different than their experience. While I was present for CJ's birth, I did not go through labor. At several points, one woman told me how lucky I was to have avoided all that. While I am grateful that I did not have to feel the pain and discomfort that other women feel, I would give anything to go through it. I hear women complain about this and that, and I find myself envious of even the negative aspects of pregnancy. I know that I've joked about not having to lose baby weight, or not having a excuse to get out of housework after CJ came home. I think that was more of a coping mechanism than anything. I know that no one says these things with a mean spirit, but it still hurts a little when people talk about how "lucky" I am. Yes, I am very lucky in that Caleb is our son and he has been healthy and happy. While I am comfortable with the path God has led us down, I still have times when I feel gyped. My advice: avoid comments like that; especially if you haven't been in a similar situation. I see being similar to jokes about family. I can make fun of my family, but you better not make fun of them.

Whew...ok, take a breath; time to get off of my soap box. On a completely different note...

We had our final post-placement visit yesterday. Sharon came over and we caught her up on how Caleb has been growing and developing. Good news, I didn't feel like a crappy mom this time. :) I still felt like we had to defend our decisions about his life, but that could just be my own insecurity. I have appreciated all that CFCA has done for us, but I am really glad it is almost over. We've been in this process for about a year and seven months. We met Sharon for the first time at the end of December, 2009. It's crazy to think about how much time has passed and how much I have learned in that time. I think the exciting thing about having kids is that you are always learning something. Some of Sharon's questions yesterday reminded me of how much I didn't know when we started. God has led us on a wild journey, and it's only just beginning.

For those that haven't heard, we received our court date for the finalization. On September 15th at 10am, Caleb will officially become a member of our family. The funny thing is that since he already feels like our son, this almost seems unnecessary. I know that we need to get the stamp of approval from the state. I would compare it to receiving your diploma six months after you have finished college. Yes, it is the official document, but you're already a college grad. You've been introducing yourself as a grad. Now, you just have something awesome to hang on your wall. Despite my jokes, I am very excited for September 15th! Don't worry, plenty of pictures will be posted on Facebook!

Almost there...

An answer to prayer...we went in yesterday to sign documents with the Maricopa County Attorney's Office. This puts us one step closer to finalizing CJ's adoption. I was actually nervous as we drove down to Mesa yesterday. The woman we met with, Kim, was very nice and walked us through the rest of the process. Thankfully, there isn't too much left!

They will file everything with the court, and we should be able to find out our court date on July 11th. Our date should be within the next 90 days, although it could be much sooner than that. We will go to the Mesa location for our finalization, which Kim said was a good thing. It sounds like they get families on the court docket a little faster than the Phoenix location. Sounds good to me!

It's funny, sometimes I forget that we are still in the process of adopting CJ. At home, we're constantly living in the moment, and watching him grow and develop. It isn't until we get a phone call or letter that I realize that we are not legally his parents yet. I take that to mean that we've adjusted well to each other. At this point, it's hard to remember our lives B.C. (before Caleb).

I also want to throw in a little something about Father's Day. I just realized that I didn't post anything, and I thought it was important to put at least a few sentiments into this post. I've waited a long time to be able to tell Matt "Happy Father's Day," and I know he's been waiting a long time to hear those words. Sometimes I forget how blessed I am to be married to such a great guy. I take it for granted that he is an honest, faithful and loving provider for our family. I know that he has made sacrifices since we welcomed CJ in January, and I hope he realizes how much I appreciate that. I have told him, but I know I need to be more intentional about showing my appreciation. I am so grateful for all that he does. He is a wonderful role model for CJ!

CJ's First Road Trip!

This past weekend, we loaded up the car and headed to Flagstaff for a few days. Thanks to the generosity of a family at Matt’s school, we were able to stay in a cabin with CJ’s godparents (and our dear friends) Tim & Lisa. As we planned for the trip, I was so excited. We were going to Antelope Canyon on Saturday, Sedona on Sunday, and taking lots of opportunities to just relax. About a week before the trip, I realized that I was going to have to pack for a baby! Holy cow…

So I did what any Type A person would do, I made a list. I mentally went through the day, and wrote down everything that we use. As I wrote, I could not believe how much goes into the day of a baby. When you are at home, you take for granted the fact that everything is right there at your fingertips. Even getting him ready for daycare wasn’t that bad because I didn’t have to worry about activities or a bed. A road trip was a whole different scenario!

At one point, I definitely got a little concerned that we wouldn’t have enough room in the trunk. Mind you, we were taking our SUV, so there should have been ample space for all of the luggage. I put all of the “necessities” in a stack on our bed, took one look, and realized that I would have to cut it down. After some work, I got it down to a manageable size, but there was still a lot of stuff. The Pack & Play, Bumbo, and Boppy were necessities in my mind. We needed places for him to sleep, eat and relax. Unfortunately, he did not like sleeping in the Pack & Play, so we had to use his car seat at night. Not ideal, but it did help with his congestion (we think from the altitude change). Other than food, diapers/wipes, clothes and blankets, we really didn’t need much else. I think because we have so many other baby items, we feel like he can’t live without them. I just had to keep reminding myself that as long as he is clean, rested and fed, he’s a pretty happy guy. We didn’t need to worry about bringing much else. After all, his favorite “toy” right now is a burp cloth.

Ultimately, we had a great time. Even hiking wasn’t difficult with him, although those baby carriers make you really hot. While we didn’t have all of the luxuries of being at our house, we had enough to get by. It was a nice trial run. This summer, we’ll be traveling to two weddings (one includes flying), so we now have a better idea of how to prepare.



I hope that we continue to do things like this. I really want CJ to experience as much as possible, even though he is just a baby right now. Hopefully, we can get him used to going different places, so that he stays somewhat flexible with his schedule. We’ll see…

On the move!

Well, in less than 24 hours, CJ hit not one, but two milestones. Within just a few short hours of posting an update about his first experience with rice cereal, I have another big piece of news to report. He has rolled over! Sadly, I had just gone out to run a few errands. Not to worry, he graciously rolled over again this morning so that I could witness his big accomplishment.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, he had been getting very close to rolling over. He just couldn't figure out how to move that back leg. Last night, he got so frustrated on his back that he kicked over and made the full rotation.

My worry was that he was going to roll while at daycare, which would have made sense because he is there for a good portion of the day. I just wanted to be there to witness it. Well, it didn't happen at daycare, but I sure did miss it. :( I literally had been gone only 15 minutes...go figure. Matt called me and the first words out of his mouth were "you're gonna be mad." I assumed something had broken or spilled. I was so bummed to find out what I'd missed! If I'd just left a little later, I could have been there. Oh well. What are you going to do? Thankfully, he did it again this morning for me. Big smiles!

As soon as he rolled this morning, we commented that we'll need to be more careful about leaving him alone now. Before, if I put him on our obnoxiously large ottoman, it was no big deal. Now, one roll and he's practically at the edge! As we were talking about this, we both went into the kitchen to clean up our breakfast dishes. CJ made a weird sound, so I peeked around the corner. I'm sure you can guess what he'd done. No, he had not rolled off the ottoman, but he had rolled over again. That just confirmed our earlier conversation!

All of this excitement further proved that these milestones are going to start coming fast. Every day he is picking up something else. It is simply amazing to watch him grasp a new action or idea.

I'm definitely one proud mama!

A meal fit for a king!

This past weekend, CJ hit a milestone - first solid food! Now, if someone had fed me the same mixture, I would have considered a liquid. In CJ's world, it was definitely thicker than his average meal.

After our four month check up a few weeks ago, we had been trying to decide when to start CJ on solid foods. While I was excited, the thought of adding something else to the mix was a little intimidating. After all, I can handle making a bottle! Once we start on solids, there is no turning back. As you probably know, CJ is quite the eater, and it became clear that he was ready to try some rice cereal. We figured that we'd give it a shot. If he didn't respond well, then we would just wait a week or two and then try again.

Yesterday, we got him up and started the preparations. You would have thought we were fixing him a steak dinner for as much effort as we put into this process. Matt got him ready while I concocted CJ's breakfast of champions. Then, the moment arrived. Matt brought him down and put him in his high chair (which has an awesome recline feature). I let Matt handle the first bites while I took care of the video and pictures. Bite one...gobbled it up! I don't think he really knew what it was at first, but that didn't stop him from wanting more. In fact, he literally would start crying in between bites because we were taking too long. If you've seen pictures of CJ recently, you would know that he is far from starving, so it was a little comical that he would get so upset.



He finished all of the cereal we had prepared and would probably have gone for seconds if we had allowed it. Instead, he washed it down with the rest of his bottle.



Success! We got video footage, great pictures, and not as much mess as we had anticipated. Our little man is a great eater!



This morning was day two of the rice cereal experience. Not only did he gobble it up again, he opened up his mouth every time the spoon got close. It was hilarious to watch. We still have to wait a few days to make sure that the cereal doesn't have any adverse affects on his digestive system. If everything works the way it is supposed to, then we'll add a second meal each day.

We've made the cereal pretty thin these first two days, so the next step will be to thicken it up a bit. Soon enough, we will be adding veggies and fruits to the mix. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should make my own baby food, or just buy it. I know how much money it would save to make our own, but am I willing to invest the time. My cheapness is leaning toward making my own, but we'll see.

I will admit that I had a moment this morning. While I was spooning in the rice cereal, I realized that he is growing up. He even looked like a little man sitting in his high chair. One step at a time, he is moving farther away from being a baby. Exciting and sad, all at the same time.