Matt and I have talked a lot about adopting a second child. We would love to give CJ the gift of a little brother or sister. Since we've settled into our new life in Las Vegas, it seemed like a great time to start the process again, especially since I'm staying home with CJ.
We've been through the process already, so I started out feeling very confident in my ability to navigate the system in Nevada. I contacted a few agencies to get information, and began researching laws and policies within the state. Unfortunately, we're going to have to start from scratch, although we already knew that was going to be the case.
As I began to really think about adoption, I started to feel very overwhelmed. Honestly, they were the same feelings that I experienced when we originally started talking about adoption in 2009. Several times, I've asked myself "how can we do this?" Time, finances, and emotions were at the top of my list. Can we really afford to adopt again? Is this the best time? What if we never get picked? How will the process impact CJ? How can we go through the process with CJ?
Breathe!
I am amused that I went so crazy so fast. We have not selected an agency, or even attended an orientation/interest meeting. Actually, we haven't fully decided to move forward with a second adoption. Why am I so concerned that we can't do it, or that we'll experience huge road blocks along the way?
Yes, it can be expensive, but we managed to save enough money the last time. Yes, there is a chance that we won't be picked, but Brooke picked us the last time. Yes, it is time consuming, but we lived through it the last time. Given that we successfully adopted once already, there is no reason to think that we can't do it again.
I have to remind myself that God is with us, guiding us through the process of parenthood. Maybe this is the perfect time to adopt, and maybe it's not. I must trust that God will direct our paths, as He has always done. If/When the time is right, God will grow our family again. If His plan does not include a second child, then we will continue to thank Him for the blessing of CJ.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Viva Las Vegas
Quite a bit has happened in the past few months. I'm actually embarrassed by my pathetic attempt to keep up a blog. Now that we are settled in our house, my goal is to be more on top of updates.
Since moving, there have been a few things that have struck me:
First, there is no doubt in my mind that we were meant to be here. I have received so many affirmations from God that our decision was the right one. When we left Phoenix, I was a little nervous. While it felt right, there is always that little concern that maybe you're making the wrong choice. As we've been getting settled, I am sure that we are in the right place. I dearly miss the friends and family that we left in Phoenix, but have felt so welcomed by the folks we have met around here. Between our neighbors and members of our church, we're starting to get connected.
Second, I really like Las Vegas. I was not excited about the prospect of living in Las Vegas when Matt first heard about this position. After we visited, my mind was changed. Summerlin is a beautiful area with a lot to do. While the temperature is not too different from Phoenix during the day, it is actually nice in the mornings and evenings. Ironically, as I write this we are experiencing some high levels of humidity, but we've also had some rain which is great. I am excited to continue learning about what this area has to offer. I have a feeling that I've only scratch the surface.
Third, I am thoroughly enjoying staying home with CJ. Many of my friends and family knew that I was a little nervous to take on that role. I had worked in higher education for over ten years, so I was very comfortable with that setting. I knew how to do my job, and I'd like to think I was pretty good at it. Staying home was uncharted territory. I was afraid that I would not be successful. I was afraid that I would be resentful. I had a lot of fears, but ultimately knew that this was the best option for us at this point in our lives. Amazingly enough, I love it! I have made a few friends that also stay home, and they are guiding me through this transition. They have given me lots of ideas on things to do and invited me along on different outings. I'm finding that there is quite a bit to do around here. We've joined the community pool, found quite a few great parks, and explored the family events that the area has to offer.
As hectic as things are now, I think we're going to begin researching adoption in Nevada. CJ is now a year and a half, and I
Since moving, there have been a few things that have struck me:
First, there is no doubt in my mind that we were meant to be here. I have received so many affirmations from God that our decision was the right one. When we left Phoenix, I was a little nervous. While it felt right, there is always that little concern that maybe you're making the wrong choice. As we've been getting settled, I am sure that we are in the right place. I dearly miss the friends and family that we left in Phoenix, but have felt so welcomed by the folks we have met around here. Between our neighbors and members of our church, we're starting to get connected.
Second, I really like Las Vegas. I was not excited about the prospect of living in Las Vegas when Matt first heard about this position. After we visited, my mind was changed. Summerlin is a beautiful area with a lot to do. While the temperature is not too different from Phoenix during the day, it is actually nice in the mornings and evenings. Ironically, as I write this we are experiencing some high levels of humidity, but we've also had some rain which is great. I am excited to continue learning about what this area has to offer. I have a feeling that I've only scratch the surface.
Third, I am thoroughly enjoying staying home with CJ. Many of my friends and family knew that I was a little nervous to take on that role. I had worked in higher education for over ten years, so I was very comfortable with that setting. I knew how to do my job, and I'd like to think I was pretty good at it. Staying home was uncharted territory. I was afraid that I would not be successful. I was afraid that I would be resentful. I had a lot of fears, but ultimately knew that this was the best option for us at this point in our lives. Amazingly enough, I love it! I have made a few friends that also stay home, and they are guiding me through this transition. They have given me lots of ideas on things to do and invited me along on different outings. I'm finding that there is quite a bit to do around here. We've joined the community pool, found quite a few great parks, and explored the family events that the area has to offer.
As hectic as things are now, I think we're going to begin researching adoption in Nevada. CJ is now a year and a half, and I
Monday, April 30, 2012
New Beginnings
I realize that it has been several months since I last posted something on our blog. Part of the reason is that I've struggled with what I should write about. I started the blog as a way to keep family members up-to-date on our adoption process. Well...that process ended in September 2011. I really can't think of much else to talk about as it relates to CJ's adoption, so I think I need to find a new topic.
Many of you already know, but Matt has accepted the call to serve as Principal of Faith Lutheran Academy in Las Vegas. This was something that we were not expecting, but it's very exciting for us. We'll be moving up there at the end of June so that Matt can begin on July 1st. I'll be taking time off from work to manage CJ's social calendar...I mean, be a stay at home mom. I'm still curious how I will handle that, but I'm excited to have the experience. People at work are placing bets on how long I'll last (the average is 3 months before I start looking for a job). Most likely, it will be after the new year before I start working.
At this point, your prayers are greatly appreciated as we prepare to move this summer. I'll use this blog to keep people posted on how things are going, and to document my life as a stay at home mom.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Keeping in Touch
Quite a few people ask me about our relationship with Brooke, CJ's birth mom. As I've mentioned in previous posts, my mindset has changed drastically from when we first started the adoption process. As CJ gets older, I feel an even greater need to keep in touch with her. Our contact with her has been spotty at best. I have to recognize that we are not her first priority. Our visits have to be when she feels comfortable. In our original plan, we scheduled meeting every other month for the first year. It ended up being three meetings, at months 1, 2 and 9.
Just before CJ's first birthday, we really wanted to connect with Brooke again. That is a special day for our family, and she is a big part of it. We wanted to celebrate with her. When I tried to call, the phone number was no longer working. I was so disappointed. My fear was that we would not hear from her ever again. I keep telling myself that our relationship with her is different and that we will keep in touch for years to come. Maybe that isn't the case. Maybe she was ready to cut off communication. I tried to call a few times, and wasn't really sure of what to do next. Should I contact the Cissy (the counselor in Tucson) every time I lose contact? At what point do I need to make it Brooke's responsibility to contact me? I don't believe there is a correct answer for that. It's something that I just have to figure out each time that it comes up.
I prayed a lot about it, and within a week God answered me. I received an e-mail from Cissy asking for my phone number. Brooke had contacted her because she lost my number. I was so relieved. I strongly believe that CJ should be able to spend time with Brooke. As he gets older, he'll have to decide what he is comfortable with, but she will always be a part of our lives. To hear that she wanted to maintain contact was awesome news. The biggest challenge is that she can only communicate with us through Cissy. Without a phone of her own, Brooke is totally reliant on others to make a connection. I trust that Cissy will continue to follow up with Brooke and encourage her to maintain contact with us.
I do need to prepare myself for a stop in communication, because there is a good chance that it will happen. Many birth moms maintain contact for just the first year or two, and then are comfortable to continue life without further contact. For many, they just need to see that the baby is taken care of, and they are able to find closure. I know that I do not have control over Brooke's decisions about staying in touch with us. I just hope that she sees value in being able to stay connected with CJ and watch him grow up.
Just before CJ's first birthday, we really wanted to connect with Brooke again. That is a special day for our family, and she is a big part of it. We wanted to celebrate with her. When I tried to call, the phone number was no longer working. I was so disappointed. My fear was that we would not hear from her ever again. I keep telling myself that our relationship with her is different and that we will keep in touch for years to come. Maybe that isn't the case. Maybe she was ready to cut off communication. I tried to call a few times, and wasn't really sure of what to do next. Should I contact the Cissy (the counselor in Tucson) every time I lose contact? At what point do I need to make it Brooke's responsibility to contact me? I don't believe there is a correct answer for that. It's something that I just have to figure out each time that it comes up.
I prayed a lot about it, and within a week God answered me. I received an e-mail from Cissy asking for my phone number. Brooke had contacted her because she lost my number. I was so relieved. I strongly believe that CJ should be able to spend time with Brooke. As he gets older, he'll have to decide what he is comfortable with, but she will always be a part of our lives. To hear that she wanted to maintain contact was awesome news. The biggest challenge is that she can only communicate with us through Cissy. Without a phone of her own, Brooke is totally reliant on others to make a connection. I trust that Cissy will continue to follow up with Brooke and encourage her to maintain contact with us.
I do need to prepare myself for a stop in communication, because there is a good chance that it will happen. Many birth moms maintain contact for just the first year or two, and then are comfortable to continue life without further contact. For many, they just need to see that the baby is taken care of, and they are able to find closure. I know that I do not have control over Brooke's decisions about staying in touch with us. I just hope that she sees value in being able to stay connected with CJ and watch him grow up.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
He's gone crazy!
A week ago, our little man turned 1. Just a few days before his birthday, the strangest thing happened...he became a picky eater. Now, for those of you who know our family, CJ will eat just about anything. One of our friends jokes that the only time she has ever seen him get mad is when we take his food away. You can imagine my confusion when he refused to eat peas one day. Now, this may not sound like a big deal, but he literally ate peas the day before, and has always liked them. Ok, tastes change. It's no big deal. Then I tried to feed him cheese, another favorite. I was denied once again. Ugh! After the third failed attempt, I got a little worried. I wasn't overly concerned because he had a fever, and I assumed it was related to not feeling well.
For four or five days, we played the "What will CJ eat today?" game. I didn't want to be one of those parents that prepares a buffet, just in case her kid gets picky, but we were forced to take that route. He had to eat something! I was so frustrated. I was making these great little meals for him, and he would only eat a few bites. He also cut back on drinking water and milk.
I did what any other first time mom would do...I googled it. I went onto multiple mommy blogs, baby food websites and pediatrician pages. All pretty much said the same thing: kids often get very picky around the one year mark. Ahhh (sigh of relief)! My son is not a weirdo! I could rest easily knowing that it was just a phase, and that eventually he would get his appetite back.
Well, I didn't have to wait long. The very next day, he ate everything in his lunch box at daycare. He got home and acted like he had not eaten in weeks. He at double the amount he had been eating in recent days. For the past few nights, he has been ravenous when he gets home. He is definitely more active now (just took his first steps a few days ago), so that could have something to do with the appetite swing. Whatever the cause, he is no longer a picky eater. He's back to a healthy combination of fruits, veggies, protein and carbs. Thank goodness. I don't know how much longer I could have handled that!
Enjoying a birthday breakfast!
No matter what, there is always room for cake!
For four or five days, we played the "What will CJ eat today?" game. I didn't want to be one of those parents that prepares a buffet, just in case her kid gets picky, but we were forced to take that route. He had to eat something! I was so frustrated. I was making these great little meals for him, and he would only eat a few bites. He also cut back on drinking water and milk.
I did what any other first time mom would do...I googled it. I went onto multiple mommy blogs, baby food websites and pediatrician pages. All pretty much said the same thing: kids often get very picky around the one year mark. Ahhh (sigh of relief)! My son is not a weirdo! I could rest easily knowing that it was just a phase, and that eventually he would get his appetite back.
Well, I didn't have to wait long. The very next day, he ate everything in his lunch box at daycare. He got home and acted like he had not eaten in weeks. He at double the amount he had been eating in recent days. For the past few nights, he has been ravenous when he gets home. He is definitely more active now (just took his first steps a few days ago), so that could have something to do with the appetite swing. Whatever the cause, he is no longer a picky eater. He's back to a healthy combination of fruits, veggies, protein and carbs. Thank goodness. I don't know how much longer I could have handled that!
Enjoying a birthday breakfast!
No matter what, there is always room for cake!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
2011 - A Year in Review
Happy New Year!
2011 stands out as one of the biggest years of our lives. I'm looking forward to what 2012 brings for our family, but it will be hard to beat last year. After years of waiting, God blessed our family with a little boy. As I think back over the months, so many memories pop into my head. I try to write them all down because I don't ever want to forget the amazing things we experienced. Here's a brief list:
January - Our little man came into this world on the 11th. It was by far one of the most amazing things that I have ever witnessed, and I'm grateful that we had the opportunity to be there.
February - Family and friends came to witness CJ's baptism on the 20th. It was a very special celebration performed by Great-Grandpa Fischer. CJ wore a baptismal gown made by Great-Grandma Fincke and had been worn by Grandpa Fincke, Uncle Andrew and yours truly.
March - Visited with Brooke.
April - I returned to work after a three month leave. While it was hard to go back, we are blessed to have such a wonderful childcare provider! First solid food for CJ - rice cereal.
May - My first Mother's Day! We celebrated with brunch at Karsten Golf Course at ASU. It was delicious!
June - Trip to Flagstaff and Antelope Canyon with Tim & Lisa (CJ's godparents). Matt's first Father's Day! We celebrated by having lunch at Friday's Front Row and going to a D-Backs game (of course). I turned 31. Matt and I celebrated 8 years of marriage.
July - CJ met many members of the Fischer side of the family at Tim & Melina's wedding in San Diego.
August - Celebrated Matt's birthday by spending the day traveling to Fargo for Liz & Luke's wedding. Don't worry, I bought him a beer along the way. CJ's first plane trip. His first tooth cut through at the end of the month.
September - CJ's adoption was finalized on the 15th! We are thankful that friends and family were present to witness the process come to a close.
October - CJ sat up all by himself! Visited with Brooke. CJ crawled for the first time! First Halloween! Our little man was a tiger...and a very cute one at that!
November - First Thanksgiving, spent with the Fischer family in Las Vegas.
December - First Christmas!
I cannot help but be excited about what 2012 is going to bring for us. I look forward to watching CJ reach more milestones. I look forward to more visits with our family. I look forward to the fun things that Matt, CJ and I will do as a family. I can't wait to report back in one year!
2011 stands out as one of the biggest years of our lives. I'm looking forward to what 2012 brings for our family, but it will be hard to beat last year. After years of waiting, God blessed our family with a little boy. As I think back over the months, so many memories pop into my head. I try to write them all down because I don't ever want to forget the amazing things we experienced. Here's a brief list:
January - Our little man came into this world on the 11th. It was by far one of the most amazing things that I have ever witnessed, and I'm grateful that we had the opportunity to be there.
February - Family and friends came to witness CJ's baptism on the 20th. It was a very special celebration performed by Great-Grandpa Fischer. CJ wore a baptismal gown made by Great-Grandma Fincke and had been worn by Grandpa Fincke, Uncle Andrew and yours truly.
March - Visited with Brooke.
April - I returned to work after a three month leave. While it was hard to go back, we are blessed to have such a wonderful childcare provider! First solid food for CJ - rice cereal.
May - My first Mother's Day! We celebrated with brunch at Karsten Golf Course at ASU. It was delicious!
June - Trip to Flagstaff and Antelope Canyon with Tim & Lisa (CJ's godparents). Matt's first Father's Day! We celebrated by having lunch at Friday's Front Row and going to a D-Backs game (of course). I turned 31. Matt and I celebrated 8 years of marriage.
July - CJ met many members of the Fischer side of the family at Tim & Melina's wedding in San Diego.
August - Celebrated Matt's birthday by spending the day traveling to Fargo for Liz & Luke's wedding. Don't worry, I bought him a beer along the way. CJ's first plane trip. His first tooth cut through at the end of the month.
September - CJ's adoption was finalized on the 15th! We are thankful that friends and family were present to witness the process come to a close.
October - CJ sat up all by himself! Visited with Brooke. CJ crawled for the first time! First Halloween! Our little man was a tiger...and a very cute one at that!
November - First Thanksgiving, spent with the Fischer family in Las Vegas.
December - First Christmas!
I cannot help but be excited about what 2012 is going to bring for us. I look forward to watching CJ reach more milestones. I look forward to more visits with our family. I look forward to the fun things that Matt, CJ and I will do as a family. I can't wait to report back in one year!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Merry Christmas!
Throughout the past year, I've had a lot of "where were we a year ago?" moments. At this time last year, I was in Pinetop with family. We were enjoying a white Christmas filled with games, movies and lots of fun. My biggest fear that week was getting the call that Brooke was in labor. We were several hours north of Phoenix, which added quite a bit of time to the drive down to Tucson. If she went into labor, we might not have made it down in time for his birth. Just to be safe, we packed our hospital bag and the car seat...and it sat in the trunk the entire time.
CJ's first Christmas was so much fun! I appreciate the fact that he is old enough to enjoy the toys (and fish tank) that he received. I may have been more excited about everything than he was, but I think that is how it's supposed to be. I was so caught up with CJ's experience that I didn't take pictures of anyone else. I need to be better about that!
In keeping with Fincke tradition, CJ received one present on Christmas Eve - a fish tank from Grandpa & Grandma Fincke. He absolutely loves it. We positioned his playpen in front of it so that he can stand there and watch the fish swim around. The rest of the gifts had to wait until Christmas Day. Christmas morning, CJ was in no rush to wake up. We weren't complaining! Working around his nap schedule, presents weren't opened until lunch time. He made out like a bandit! Here are some pictures...
I truly enjoyed watching as he examined each toy and tried to figure it out. Just as he started to understand, he would move on to the next item. After a few toys, he took a break to play with the plastic wrapping.
I look forward to future Christmases, when he runs into our bedroom to wake us up...when we can read the story of Jesus birth, and he understands what we're talking about...when we can go to the candlelight service at church (it was just a little too late for CJ this year). There is so much to look forward to! I just hope that as he gets older, we can help him to understand the true meaning of Christmas and the most amazing gift of all - the birth (and death) of Jesus.
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