Overwhelmed...that may be an understatement!

I cannot even begin to describe how much life has changed in the last 10 days. On August 4th, we picked up Alex from his foster home and began the transition into life with more children. We had anticipated the baby arriving the same day, so we stayed in Phoenix a few extra days just in case. Within a few days, we realized that it would be easier to transition Alex at home (and we couldn't guarantee that the due date Brooke was given was accurate), so we drove back to Las Vegas. Literally, the next day, I got a call that little Jacob entered the world. Boom...family of 5.

With Matt getting ready to start the school year, we realized that he would not be able to come with me to pick Jacob up. Alex had to come with me because we cannot have anyone else watch him yet, so we decided to have CJ stay home with Matt. My amazing sister drove down with her boys to watch CJ while Matt was working. So with plans falling into place, Alex and I drove back to Phoenix (5 days after we left) to meet the newest Fischer.

Now, there are a lot of reasons I feel overwhelmed. I don't give you this list to get sympathy or praise. I simply need to purge.

1. I hate leaving Matt and CJ behind, especially at a time when I need Matt the most (and vice versa).
2. I'm still getting to know Alex, so life is very frustrating when he just yells because I am not understanding what he is trying to tell me.
3. I haven't had a newborn in 3 1/2 years. There is a lot I had forgotten (or maybe blocked).
4. I did not pack enough toys to keep Alex occupied and it is HOT outside. Cabin fever is taking over.
5. I don't actually know when I get to go home.

While I would love to simply complain, I know that for every difficulty, there is a blessing.

1. My sister was willing to leave her husband at home so she could care for my boys.
2. This is a great opportunity for me to learn more about Alex while the baby is sleeping so much. At home, he would be competing with CJ for attention.
3. The internet has a lot of information about raising newborns. :) It is also coming back to me a lot more than I had expected.
4. Matt's parents have been so helpful in entertaining Alex or holding the baby so I can tend to the other child. I also found a few free classes for Alex at places like Gymboree, so we'll keep busy. Plus, there is an Ikea just up the street and I can walk around there for hours!
5. The social workers in both states are working hard to get me home by Tuesday. There are no guarantees, but I know that they are doing their best.

The biggest blessing is that our boys will get to grow up with biological siblings! How amazing is that?

I'm already worried about life when we get home. CJ has not had the easiest time with all of these changes, and I feel so bad for putting him through it. I can only rely on prayer and the support of our friends and family to get us through these next few months. I can't wait for the day when I can look back and say "remember when..."