When I talk with people about the challenges we are experiencing with the kids, they often respond with something to the effect of "try to enjoy it, because one day you'll realize how much you miss these years." I say, BS!
I have a hard time believing that I am going to miss 3 hour temper tantrums. Or being awakened every two hours because my baby is teething. Or having my preschooler tell me how much he doesn't like me (although I'm pretty sure that lasts for many years to come). Or scheduling monthly home visits to make sure that I'm properly caring for my two youngest children. Or having almost no identity outside of the four walls I call home.
I know that there are parts of this stage that I will miss. Being able to hold Jacob in my arms. Alex's inability to open doors. CJ's awesome dance moves (I really hope those never go away, and that he always feels comfortable dancing his little heart out). Not having to figure out how to balance a full-time job with raising three spirited boys. I am blessed in many ways; I acknowledge that.
But, why do people feel the need to "make me feel better" by suggesting that I should be happier or more grateful than I am. Why do I have to enjoy every phase my children go through.
It is easy to suggest that things really aren't as bad as they seem, or that I'm ignoring how wonderful things really are. Why can't people just say "that really sucks" when I share some of the problems I'm working through.
I'm not suggesting that you let me wallow in self-pity or anger. It would not be healthy to focus solely on the various crap that I deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes I need to be put in check, but sometimes, I just need to vent.
This is a tough time in our house, and I know it will pass.
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Yes! Yes! Yes! I know there are challenges at every age, but I don't think any stage is as physically exhausting as this one. And I only have two! It's hard! And no, most definitely, I don't enjoy every minute.
ReplyDeleteJen Lehmann