Being Me, Bravely

This is theme for MOPS this year. Be You, Bravely.

I had thought a little bit about what that meant, both for me and the 75 other moms that are part of my group. It wasn't until the past few days that I really thought about how this could be applied. The one thing I keep coming back to is the idea of being brave enough to be real about your life.

One thing I've said about a lot of my friends here is that they are very real. There is no sugar-coating anything. They'll be the first to admit that they haven't showered in three days. Or that they yelled at their kids that morning. Or that they are having issues with their husband. I appreciate this. My life is FAR from perfect, and it's refreshing when people are willing to admit the same. It gives us a common denominator and a support system.

Lately, we've received some very nice compliments about how well we've adjusted to our growing family. At first, I was very proud. I needed to hear that we were doing something right. However, if I'm being real, I need to acknowledge that these compliments are based on very brief moments of interaction - church, playdates, etc. If only those same people could see me at home, the remaining 97% of my day. Actually, I'm kind of glad they can't see me. I almost feel like I need to come clean about who I am. I need to be me, bravely. It is easy to admit the good things I am doing, but admitting the negatives is tough! This is not to say that I am defined by the list that follows. It is simply who I am at this stage in life, when others are not watching.

*I take out my frustration on my poor husband on a regular basis.
*I raise my voice at my kids more than I'd like to admit.
*I am struggling to like my children. I love them, but when meltdowns are happening on a constant basis, liking them is tough.
*I am only just figuring out how to be a parent to Alex.
*I've cried more in the past 5 weeks than I have in the past year.
*I've frequently questioned God's plan for our family.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I actually feel a lot better. I'm not embarrassed by how things are going for us right now. Well, maybe I'm a little embarrassed, but not enough to try to hide things. The only way that I'm going to move past some of my issues is to put them out there.

While my ugly side has come out lately because of the stress and anxiety, there are also some positives coming from this chaos.

*I've been willing to ask for, and accept, help. Let's face it, there is no way I could be doing this on my own!
*I've prayed more than I ever have before. I am literally talking to God all day long.
*I am learning to let go of things. My house is rarely clean. Sometimes I don't take a shower. I let my kids get super dirty because it's one of the few times that they are quiet and play well together. You know what...it's ok!

I hope that others out there feel comfortable being themselves, bravely. None of us is perfect, no matter how things may appear. There is no shame in admitting our faults, and then finding ways to move beyond them. There is also no shame in acknowledging what we are doing well.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:14