A few thoughts...

As we get closer to our finalization (56 days), I have a lot going through my head.

Last week, I met up with some ladies from my church for a "moms group" event. They were all very sweet, and it was great to meet other women in the church. As we talked about kids, the conversation moved to childbirth. Obviously, my experience was very different than their experience. While I was present for CJ's birth, I did not go through labor. At several points, one woman told me how lucky I was to have avoided all that. While I am grateful that I did not have to feel the pain and discomfort that other women feel, I would give anything to go through it. I hear women complain about this and that, and I find myself envious of even the negative aspects of pregnancy. I know that I've joked about not having to lose baby weight, or not having a excuse to get out of housework after CJ came home. I think that was more of a coping mechanism than anything. I know that no one says these things with a mean spirit, but it still hurts a little when people talk about how "lucky" I am. Yes, I am very lucky in that Caleb is our son and he has been healthy and happy. While I am comfortable with the path God has led us down, I still have times when I feel gyped. My advice: avoid comments like that; especially if you haven't been in a similar situation. I see being similar to jokes about family. I can make fun of my family, but you better not make fun of them.

Whew...ok, take a breath; time to get off of my soap box. On a completely different note...

We had our final post-placement visit yesterday. Sharon came over and we caught her up on how Caleb has been growing and developing. Good news, I didn't feel like a crappy mom this time. :) I still felt like we had to defend our decisions about his life, but that could just be my own insecurity. I have appreciated all that CFCA has done for us, but I am really glad it is almost over. We've been in this process for about a year and seven months. We met Sharon for the first time at the end of December, 2009. It's crazy to think about how much time has passed and how much I have learned in that time. I think the exciting thing about having kids is that you are always learning something. Some of Sharon's questions yesterday reminded me of how much I didn't know when we started. God has led us on a wild journey, and it's only just beginning.

For those that haven't heard, we received our court date for the finalization. On September 15th at 10am, Caleb will officially become a member of our family. The funny thing is that since he already feels like our son, this almost seems unnecessary. I know that we need to get the stamp of approval from the state. I would compare it to receiving your diploma six months after you have finished college. Yes, it is the official document, but you're already a college grad. You've been introducing yourself as a grad. Now, you just have something awesome to hang on your wall. Despite my jokes, I am very excited for September 15th! Don't worry, plenty of pictures will be posted on Facebook!