Anyone who has been through, or currently going through, the adoption process knows the concept of "hurry up and wait." It seems like every step of the way, we rush to get things done, only to wait for results. Right now, we are working on our home study so that we can take temporary custody of baby Alex. Thankfully, the agency we are working with will work on expediting the process for us, since little Alex already made his appearance. We've been so rushed to figure things out, that I now feel like I'm not even sure what is next.
Here are the tasks we've been given so far:
1. Fingerprinting - we got this done last Friday (two days after they asked us to get them done). We were pretty excited that NV uses livescan instead of ink & paper). Unfortunately, it can take up to 8 weeks to get the results back. We're hoping that they come back in the shorter end of the spectrum (3-4 weeks).
2. Reference forms - ok, so we didn't get these, but the five fabulous people who offered to be references received them. We picked some good people; most of them have already started working on the answers!
3. Doctors appointments and blood work - we didn't have to have any blood testing done with CJ's adoption, but our current agency does require it. Amazingly enough, I was already able to see a doctor and get the necessary testing done. Matt's appointment is coming up. I was really glad that CJ did not require an appointment or blood work. I just had to submit a form to his pediatrician, who already finished it!
The agency is taking care of all of the background details and waiting for our background checks to come back. We're hopeful that we can begin scheduling in-person interviews next week. If our estimate is correct, we should be able to finish our home study by mid-April.
I have to remind myself that the waiting process can be just as useful as the moments when we are busy. I need to take this time to appreciate the last weeks of having just one child. I can be reading more books. I can try to squeeze in a date or two with Matt, because I doubt many date nights will happen when Alex comes to stay. I get so caught up in the business of life, that I forget to just sit back and appreciate what the Lord has given me. I'm very blessed, and I don't take enough time to simply enjoy life.
Thanks for the continued prayers! We'll keep you posted!
Friday, March 15, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
An update...
I have tried so many times to write this post. My first version was outdated when Brooke delivered the baby two weeks earlier than expected. Then, I attempted to update things and just couldn't keep up with the constant changes with the situation. Finally, I just wasn't in the mood to write anything. Now that I'm back to "normal" life, I want to give you an idea of what has been going on in our lives.
In mid-January, we met with Brooke. We were visiting Matt's family, and thought we'd visit her too. It was great catching up, especially hearing about how her pregnancy was going. During our conversation, she shared that she was expecting some hard times ahead, and wondered if we would consider taking temporary custody of the baby until she could get some things in order. We were floored, but wanted to support her as much as possible. We were so grateful that she considered us to help her, but also terrified at the same time.
Baby Alex was due March 14th, so we had a lot of time to get things in order. We consulted with an adoption agency and an attorney to find out how to handle a temporary custody. We prepared things at home as well. CJ was moved into a big boy bed. It was time anyway, and this seemed like a great reason to move him out of the crib. After a few nights of falling out or refusing to stay in bed, I think we've gotten him used to it.
On February 25th, Brooke called me to check in about our plans for the baby's arrival. She felt that the baby was going to come early, and wanted to make sure that we'd be prepared to head down. I told her we'd be ready. I did not realize that we'd hear from her as soon as we did. Two hours later, she called to let me know she was headed to the hospital. I packed (aka - ran around my house frantically trying to find everything I needed for a few days). I was on the road an hour later.
This little guy was ready to come out; she delivered two hours later. I guess I didn't need to rush down anymore. I got into Tucson around midnight and spent that night in Brooke's room. Over the next few days, I spent a lot time hanging out with Brooke and Alex, and waiting to hear how things were going to work with discharge.
I don't know if I was just too tired, or experiencing too many emotions about trying to things in order, but I finally had a breakdown on Thursday. I was overwhelmed and alone, not a great combination. I called Matt in tears, just trying to get my thoughts in order. That afternoon, he booked a flight for him and CJ, and they joined me in Tucson about 10 hours later. While it wasn't planned, we tried to make it fun for CJ. The people at the Ronald McDonald House were so great about keeping him occupied (see my last post about how wonderful they are).
Well, things did not go exactly how we had planned. Without getting into too much detail, it was determined that the baby would need to be placed in foster care until we were able to get some paperwork in order. We were disappointed, but understood. We got home one week later, and will begin the home study process here in Nevada. We'll continue to update the blog to let you know where things are, and when we are finally able to bring Alex to our house.
I'll continue to share how the process is working for us.
In mid-January, we met with Brooke. We were visiting Matt's family, and thought we'd visit her too. It was great catching up, especially hearing about how her pregnancy was going. During our conversation, she shared that she was expecting some hard times ahead, and wondered if we would consider taking temporary custody of the baby until she could get some things in order. We were floored, but wanted to support her as much as possible. We were so grateful that she considered us to help her, but also terrified at the same time.
Baby Alex was due March 14th, so we had a lot of time to get things in order. We consulted with an adoption agency and an attorney to find out how to handle a temporary custody. We prepared things at home as well. CJ was moved into a big boy bed. It was time anyway, and this seemed like a great reason to move him out of the crib. After a few nights of falling out or refusing to stay in bed, I think we've gotten him used to it.
On February 25th, Brooke called me to check in about our plans for the baby's arrival. She felt that the baby was going to come early, and wanted to make sure that we'd be prepared to head down. I told her we'd be ready. I did not realize that we'd hear from her as soon as we did. Two hours later, she called to let me know she was headed to the hospital. I packed (aka - ran around my house frantically trying to find everything I needed for a few days). I was on the road an hour later.
This little guy was ready to come out; she delivered two hours later. I guess I didn't need to rush down anymore. I got into Tucson around midnight and spent that night in Brooke's room. Over the next few days, I spent a lot time hanging out with Brooke and Alex, and waiting to hear how things were going to work with discharge.
I don't know if I was just too tired, or experiencing too many emotions about trying to things in order, but I finally had a breakdown on Thursday. I was overwhelmed and alone, not a great combination. I called Matt in tears, just trying to get my thoughts in order. That afternoon, he booked a flight for him and CJ, and they joined me in Tucson about 10 hours later. While it wasn't planned, we tried to make it fun for CJ. The people at the Ronald McDonald House were so great about keeping him occupied (see my last post about how wonderful they are).
Well, things did not go exactly how we had planned. Without getting into too much detail, it was determined that the baby would need to be placed in foster care until we were able to get some paperwork in order. We were disappointed, but understood. We got home one week later, and will begin the home study process here in Nevada. We'll continue to update the blog to let you know where things are, and when we are finally able to bring Alex to our house.
I'll continue to share how the process is working for us.
Friday, March 1, 2013
RMH Rocks!
*I will post a blog explaining why we're at Ronald McDonald House, but for now, I just want to share what a blessing they are!
I need to give a major shout out to the Ronald McDonald House in Tucson. I've heard stories from families who have stayed at a RMH, and it has always been very positive. Now that I'm one of those families, I just wanted to share what a blessing they have been to us over the past few days.
When the social worker at the hospital mentioned RMH, I didn't think I would qualify because we don't technically have a child in the hospital. She told me that she has set up adoptive families with them when there has been room. Our situation was a little different, but she thought we'd still be eligible. She sent the referral over, and they accepted me (Matt and CJ weren't here yet). I headed over to sign the necessary paperwork and take a tour of the facility.
I literally choked up as she walked me throughout the building, sharing the different amenities offered to families. If you've not been involved with RMH, I'll share some of the amazing features:
*Our room (and meals - breakfast, lunch & dinner) is $15/night. The night before, I had paid $90 for a shady hotel and mediocre breakfast just up the road. In addition to meals, they have two community refrigerators where they store all of the leftovers so that we can snack if we get hungry at random times.
*The room has Tempur-pedic beds, which are very nice! They also stocked the bathroom with every toiletry item we could possibly need.
*In the room, they left a blanket and stuffed animal for kids who stay. Even though we don't have Alex yet, they said we should take an extra for him.
*When we checked in Matt this morning, they took CJ back to the toy room and let him pick out anything he wanted. It was literally a large closet filled with brand new toys. He chose a very large John Deere tractor.
*They have a full play room and outdoor play area for kids, which kept CJ busy all morning.
*They have free laundry machines for us to use as we need.
*The manager came over to us this morning and gave us a box of individually wrapped cracker packages. She said she knew that we'd be in meetings and that we'd have a long drive home and CJ would need some snacks along the way.
*When I asked them about fun family activities in Tucson (since we're here until Monday), they mentioned the children's museum and the zoo. Without hesitation, one of the staff said "Oh, let me get you one of our family passes." While they couldn't find the zoo pass, they gave us a pass for all of us to get into the children's museum.
*Repeatedly, we've been told not to worry about when we're checking out. They've told us a bunch of times that we're welcome to stay as long as needed (although I will be anxious to get home).
I'm sure there are many more examples I could give you, but these stand out. While we've had a hard time accepting that we are deserving of this, it has been such a blessing to not have to worry about some things. It has allowed us to focus on what we need to focus on. They have truly tried to make it feel as close to home as possible. I've already looked up the RMH in Las Vegas, and hope to find ways to help them in the future.
For any adoptive moms reading this - if you are placed with a birth mom that is a good distance from your home, check with your agency/attorney, or the hospital social worker, to see if you can get in at a local RMH. Sometimes you aren't sure of how long you'll need to remain in the area, and it's nice to have your lodging and meals taken care of.
I need to give a major shout out to the Ronald McDonald House in Tucson. I've heard stories from families who have stayed at a RMH, and it has always been very positive. Now that I'm one of those families, I just wanted to share what a blessing they have been to us over the past few days.
When the social worker at the hospital mentioned RMH, I didn't think I would qualify because we don't technically have a child in the hospital. She told me that she has set up adoptive families with them when there has been room. Our situation was a little different, but she thought we'd still be eligible. She sent the referral over, and they accepted me (Matt and CJ weren't here yet). I headed over to sign the necessary paperwork and take a tour of the facility.
I literally choked up as she walked me throughout the building, sharing the different amenities offered to families. If you've not been involved with RMH, I'll share some of the amazing features:
*Our room (and meals - breakfast, lunch & dinner) is $15/night. The night before, I had paid $90 for a shady hotel and mediocre breakfast just up the road. In addition to meals, they have two community refrigerators where they store all of the leftovers so that we can snack if we get hungry at random times.
*The room has Tempur-pedic beds, which are very nice! They also stocked the bathroom with every toiletry item we could possibly need.
*In the room, they left a blanket and stuffed animal for kids who stay. Even though we don't have Alex yet, they said we should take an extra for him.
*When we checked in Matt this morning, they took CJ back to the toy room and let him pick out anything he wanted. It was literally a large closet filled with brand new toys. He chose a very large John Deere tractor.
*They have a full play room and outdoor play area for kids, which kept CJ busy all morning.
*They have free laundry machines for us to use as we need.
*The manager came over to us this morning and gave us a box of individually wrapped cracker packages. She said she knew that we'd be in meetings and that we'd have a long drive home and CJ would need some snacks along the way.
*When I asked them about fun family activities in Tucson (since we're here until Monday), they mentioned the children's museum and the zoo. Without hesitation, one of the staff said "Oh, let me get you one of our family passes." While they couldn't find the zoo pass, they gave us a pass for all of us to get into the children's museum.
*Repeatedly, we've been told not to worry about when we're checking out. They've told us a bunch of times that we're welcome to stay as long as needed (although I will be anxious to get home).
I'm sure there are many more examples I could give you, but these stand out. While we've had a hard time accepting that we are deserving of this, it has been such a blessing to not have to worry about some things. It has allowed us to focus on what we need to focus on. They have truly tried to make it feel as close to home as possible. I've already looked up the RMH in Las Vegas, and hope to find ways to help them in the future.
For any adoptive moms reading this - if you are placed with a birth mom that is a good distance from your home, check with your agency/attorney, or the hospital social worker, to see if you can get in at a local RMH. Sometimes you aren't sure of how long you'll need to remain in the area, and it's nice to have your lodging and meals taken care of.
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