I am really struggling with our kinship foster training classes. After the first class, my attitude wasn't great, but I had high hopes that future classes would be interesting and full of important information. While the information is important, it is also a repeat of what we learned in our infant adoption class. After our second class, this past week, my hopes are pretty much gone.
When you gather any group of 30 people together, you are bound to get a variety of experiences, issues, questions and problems. When those people are all dealing with a very confusing system, irresponsible family members, and a child (or children) they were not prepared to care for, the craziness grows exponentially.
This past Friday, our class spiraled out of control as several people took the opportunity to share (or complain) about what they were dealing with. At first, it appeared that they were just asking questions about the process, but after a few minutes, it became clear that they were looking for a place to vent. Those few minutes turned into a 20 minute discussion. I can sympathize with the confusion surrounding foster care. The problem is that each of our situations is unique, so it is hard to remain engaged in the class when the conversation is irrelevant to me. While we have had a relatively easy process, many of the people in our class are jaded by "the system" and that is apparent as soon as they speak.
Matt and I have been blessed with an incredible support system. I have to remember that not everyone has that. While I may find all of this frustrating, I want to be supportive of the men and women in my class. I have started praying for each of them:
-That they would experience peace in their decision to foster a family member's child.
-That they find answers to their many questions.
-That they locate resources necessary to help them through the process.
I also have a few prayers for myself:
-That I would remain positive about the class; looking for new information in each session.
-That I have patience with those taking the class.
-That I offer support to the people that may not have any outside of the class.
I am in a bible study right now, and as I did my homework today, I was directed to Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." I look forward to seeing the good that God brings through this experience!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Centipedes, Regulations and 17 Amazing Stories
We began our Kinship Foster Training Class this past Friday night. I'll be honest, my attitude has been less than great about attending this class. I can think of a few other ways that I'd rather spend a Friday. However, this is required to bring little Alex home, so I will do what it takes.
Class began with a centipede...yes, a centipede...crawling across my foot. I'm shocked that I didn't freak out. Actually, it was Matt that got a little jumpy. It wasn't until after he killed it that he told me that they can be poisonous. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it was about 3 inches long. Gross! For the remainder of our class time, I was constantly looking down at my feet or trying to find sitting positions that kept my feet in the air.
As we reviewed the class schedule, I quickly realized that much of the information was going to repeat our Infant Adoption Class. Cue the bad attitude again! My goal for the next five weeks is to find something new in every class to make me a better foster parent (and better parent in general). Here are a few nuggets that I gained Friday night...
- Rules and Regulations - this was actually what I wanted from the class, and there are a lot of them! The best info was about the licensing visit, specifically what was going to be required. We learned that we did not purchase the correct fire extinguishers, so I'll have to get new ones. We also learned that we'll have to get a landline phone. We have not had a landline since 2006, but as I've said before, we'll do what we need to do. We also have to buy a fire ladder. While there are many rules and regulations to learn, it is clear that they are all designed to protect the children living in the foster system.
- Resources - there are a crazy number of resources available to foster parents in Clark County. As we reviewed them, I was excited to know that we'd have a lot of support until the court hearing to determine Alex's final placement. Everything from diapers/formula to counseling to summer camps.
- Humbling Stories - We've tried to keep a positive attitude about our entire situation with Alex. Friday night showed us that we have absolutely nothing to complain about. I was in awe as I listened to everyone's stores. The grandmother who took her 7 granddaughters, the 22 year old guy who is taking care of his 1 1/2 year old brother, the couple who now have two nieces and a nephew in addition to three biological children, and the list goes on. It was humbling to hear what some of the people were willing to do. Many of them had little notice that they were being placed. Most of them have to deal with the parents of these children.
I look forward to learning many more things over the month of May. I'm just praying that no more creepy crawlers find their way onto my feet.
Class began with a centipede...yes, a centipede...crawling across my foot. I'm shocked that I didn't freak out. Actually, it was Matt that got a little jumpy. It wasn't until after he killed it that he told me that they can be poisonous. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it was about 3 inches long. Gross! For the remainder of our class time, I was constantly looking down at my feet or trying to find sitting positions that kept my feet in the air.
As we reviewed the class schedule, I quickly realized that much of the information was going to repeat our Infant Adoption Class. Cue the bad attitude again! My goal for the next five weeks is to find something new in every class to make me a better foster parent (and better parent in general). Here are a few nuggets that I gained Friday night...
- Rules and Regulations - this was actually what I wanted from the class, and there are a lot of them! The best info was about the licensing visit, specifically what was going to be required. We learned that we did not purchase the correct fire extinguishers, so I'll have to get new ones. We also learned that we'll have to get a landline phone. We have not had a landline since 2006, but as I've said before, we'll do what we need to do. We also have to buy a fire ladder. While there are many rules and regulations to learn, it is clear that they are all designed to protect the children living in the foster system.
- Resources - there are a crazy number of resources available to foster parents in Clark County. As we reviewed them, I was excited to know that we'd have a lot of support until the court hearing to determine Alex's final placement. Everything from diapers/formula to counseling to summer camps.
- Humbling Stories - We've tried to keep a positive attitude about our entire situation with Alex. Friday night showed us that we have absolutely nothing to complain about. I was in awe as I listened to everyone's stores. The grandmother who took her 7 granddaughters, the 22 year old guy who is taking care of his 1 1/2 year old brother, the couple who now have two nieces and a nephew in addition to three biological children, and the list goes on. It was humbling to hear what some of the people were willing to do. Many of them had little notice that they were being placed. Most of them have to deal with the parents of these children.
I look forward to learning many more things over the month of May. I'm just praying that no more creepy crawlers find their way onto my feet.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Selfish or Healthy?
In classic "me" fashion, I am trying to solve a problem that is not actually a problem yet. I feel like I have an answer, but maybe getting it all out will help.
In late June, we are celebrating our 10th anniversary. We've been talking about this anniversary for a few years now, and had planned a weeklong trip to a beach resort in Cancun. As things picked up with Alex, we realized that a weeklong trip may not be the best idea, especially given that we had no idea how things would go. We agreed to pare it down to a long weekend near Temecula. As we started planning, I was so excited - wine tasting, a morning at the spa, actually being able to sleep in...you get the idea.
Based on what our case manager has shared with me, we should be licensed in mid-June. Our guess is that we'd be able to pick him up shortly thereafter. I suppose I should emphasize the word "guess" in that last sentence. Everything is dependent on the communication between Nevada and Arizona.
Our dilemma is: what happens if we are able to pick him up before our trip? Do we delay pick-up so that we can go on our vacation alone, or do we pick him up as soon as possible and take him along? Being a foster child, we don't think that we would be able to leave him with anyone else. Besides, I'm not going to want to let that little man out of my sight once we bring him home! At the same time, Matt and I really need a chance to go on a trip by ourselves. To be better parents, we need a few moments to relax and renew our energy. I don't think delaying pick-up by a week or so would be the end of the world, especially given that he is living with an amazing family right now.
Now, there is always the chance that we aren't able to pick him up until July anyway, but as you probably already know, I like to overthink life. My philosophy has been to look at the different possible outcomes of a situation so that I don't feel shocked when it actually happens - hoping that one of my guesses is correct.
Ultimately, we'll just figure it out as it comes. Either way, we'll get a weekend in Southern California. :)
In late June, we are celebrating our 10th anniversary. We've been talking about this anniversary for a few years now, and had planned a weeklong trip to a beach resort in Cancun. As things picked up with Alex, we realized that a weeklong trip may not be the best idea, especially given that we had no idea how things would go. We agreed to pare it down to a long weekend near Temecula. As we started planning, I was so excited - wine tasting, a morning at the spa, actually being able to sleep in...you get the idea.
Based on what our case manager has shared with me, we should be licensed in mid-June. Our guess is that we'd be able to pick him up shortly thereafter. I suppose I should emphasize the word "guess" in that last sentence. Everything is dependent on the communication between Nevada and Arizona.
Our dilemma is: what happens if we are able to pick him up before our trip? Do we delay pick-up so that we can go on our vacation alone, or do we pick him up as soon as possible and take him along? Being a foster child, we don't think that we would be able to leave him with anyone else. Besides, I'm not going to want to let that little man out of my sight once we bring him home! At the same time, Matt and I really need a chance to go on a trip by ourselves. To be better parents, we need a few moments to relax and renew our energy. I don't think delaying pick-up by a week or so would be the end of the world, especially given that he is living with an amazing family right now.
Now, there is always the chance that we aren't able to pick him up until July anyway, but as you probably already know, I like to overthink life. My philosophy has been to look at the different possible outcomes of a situation so that I don't feel shocked when it actually happens - hoping that one of my guesses is correct.
Ultimately, we'll just figure it out as it comes. Either way, we'll get a weekend in Southern California. :)
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