Merry Christmas!

Throughout the past year, I've had a lot of "where were we a year ago?" moments. At this time last year, I was in Pinetop with family. We were enjoying a white Christmas filled with games, movies and lots of fun. My biggest fear that week was getting the call that Brooke was in labor. We were several hours north of Phoenix, which added quite a bit of time to the drive down to Tucson. If she went into labor, we might not have made it down in time for his birth. Just to be safe, we packed our hospital bag and the car seat...and it sat in the trunk the entire time.

CJ's first Christmas was so much fun! I appreciate the fact that he is old enough to enjoy the toys (and fish tank) that he received. I may have been more excited about everything than he was, but I think that is how it's supposed to be. I was so caught up with CJ's experience that I didn't take pictures of anyone else. I need to be better about that!

In keeping with Fincke tradition, CJ received one present on Christmas Eve - a fish tank from Grandpa & Grandma Fincke. He absolutely loves it. We positioned his playpen in front of it so that he can stand there and watch the fish swim around. The rest of the gifts had to wait until Christmas Day. Christmas morning, CJ was in no rush to wake up. We weren't complaining! Working around his nap schedule, presents weren't opened until lunch time. He made out like a bandit! Here are some pictures...









I truly enjoyed watching as he examined each toy and tried to figure it out. Just as he started to understand, he would move on to the next item. After a few toys, he took a break to play with the plastic wrapping.

I look forward to future Christmases, when he runs into our bedroom to wake us up...when we can read the story of Jesus birth, and he understands what we're talking about...when we can go to the candlelight service at church (it was just a little too late for CJ this year). There is so much to look forward to! I just hope that as he gets older, we can help him to understand the true meaning of Christmas and the most amazing gift of all - the birth (and death) of Jesus.

So Many Reasons To Be Thankful!

It's hard to remember where we were at this time last year. So much has changed in our lives (for the better). During our many hours in the car last week, I took time to reflect on the many reasons I have to be thankful. I thought I would share some of them with you.

I am thankful for...
*Matt - who supported me through a long journey to grow our family, and continues to provide support as we raise our son together. He does his fair share of nighttime feedings, diaper changes, and play time, for which I am very grateful.
*My family - who have embraced CJ as part of the family and show him as much love as they have shown me.
*Brooke - who made a difficult decision to offer her child a better life by placing him for adoption, and who gave us the best gift anyone could possibly give.
*My friends - who provided a great deal of support to us during the past year through prayer, kind words, and lots of baby stuff.
*Christian Family Care - who helped us through the adoption process. Utlimately, they are the reason that we were connected with Brooke.
*Being guided toward adoption - I don't think I would have made that decision on my own, but we have been so blessed by it.
*The ability to save exactly enough to pay for the adoption fees when they were due.
*Having a job that allowed me to take off 3 months so that I could bond with our little man.
*Our awesome pediatrician who encourages me as a parent and answers my million questions.

and finally...

*Caleb - I could not have asked for a more wonderful child. I cannot imagine our lives without him. I just love his infectious smile and giggle, his obvious love for our family and friends, and how he has made me into a better person in just 10 months.

Not just a name!

Last week, I took care of Caleb's birth certificate and Social Security card. In the moments when I first saw both documents, I got a little teary-eyed. It got me wondering if all mothers are affected by the sight of their child's name on paper, or if this is more of an adoptive mother "thing." Maybe it's just me...which is ok.

It started for me the day that we created our Covenant (adoption agreement) with Brooke. On the document, Cissy (the counselor) wrote out his name because Brooke indicated that it would be used on his original birth certificate. Matt and I had written out the name before, but it was different this time. This time, there was actually a baby that would receive the name. It had more meaning. As Cissy handed us the document, I got a chill because it was actually happening!

Once Caleb was born, his name was everywhere. Insurance cards. Adoption agency documents. Barnes & Noble Birthday Club Card. Each time something arrived bearing his name, it had the same effect. At the risk of sounding cheesy, there was something magical about seeing it on paper. I don't know if I can really describe this to you, but I hope that you can somewhat understand what I'm talking about. I assumed that the feeling would wane over time. After all, if we say it and write it all the time, it has to lose steam at some point...right? Not yet.

Maybe it's because our road to a child was fairly long. Maybe I am just in love with my son. Whatever the reason, seeing his name makes me so appreciative of what I have. Literally each time I see it written out, I take a moment to thank God for such a precious gift.

You may or may not have experienced this yourself. I hope you have because it's amazing.

Caleb Josiah Fischer...ahhh!

Support

This past weekend, we attended a picnic hosted by our adoption agency. It was their annual Adoption Picnic, and I was so excited to go. It had been over a year since I had seen most of the couples from our infant adoption class. We'd been keeping in touch via e-mail whenever someone was placed, but it had been sporadic. While we haven't talked or seen each other, we still hold a very special common bond. As soon as we arrived, I got a hug from one of the girls in the class. Slowly, about half of our class arrived to join in the celebration. All of us proudly showing off our little guys and gals. We caught up on how things had been going, and shared the stories of how our children came into our families.

I don't think I realized how much I needed to be around other women who had been through a similar experience. Don't get me wrong, I have very supportive family and friends, who have all been more than happy to let me share our experience with them. I love talking about our process, regardless of the audience. The biggest difference is that the women from the class have been there. They completely understand the emotions that we experienced as we waited, after we got "the call," and at the arrival of Caleb. The doubt, frustration, anger, bitterness that turned into trust, love, joy and awe. It's hard for others to understand why I didn't take the tags off of baby gifts until just before he arrived (or after in some cases). It's hard to explain the fear that Brooke would change her mind. It's hard to describe the relief in realizing that my love for Caleb was no different than if I had given birth to him myself.

One family that I was very excited to meet was a couple whose daughter was born about 10 hours after Caleb in Tucson. Our counselor kept running back and forth between the two hospitals trying to support both adoptive families. As we were being discharged from the hospital, she suggested that I get into contact with them because they also lived in North Phoenix. We tried to connect via e-mail, but it just never worked out. As Matt and I ate lunch, I started talking to the lady next to me. I asked how old her daughter was, and shared that our son was the same age. She asked his birthday and we figured it out. What are the odds? Hopefully, we will keep in touch with them since they live so close to us.

As we all talked, I got an overwhelming feeling of relief. It was as if my heart and mind had been waiting to talk with other adoptive parents. I loved hearing their stories and learning more about their little ones. When I talk about a relationship with our birth mom, they know exactly what I am talking about. When I share the strange questions we've been asked, they have been asked the same questions. I think the most amazing part was connecting so much with people that I had just met. I knew that I would be able to talk and share with the couples from our class. I didn't expect to have a similar experience with couples from other classes.

Adoption creates a wonderful bond between people. Often, I think about the connection we have with Brooke, but it goes far beyond that. If I could pass along any suggestions to parents who are adopting, or who have adopted, it would be to find a support system of other adoptive parents. As Caleb gets older, I want him to be around other children who are adopted. I want him to know that he is not the only one out there. As much as he needs that, I also need that.

I really feel as though I am meant to do something more with adoption. I don't mean to adopt again (which is the plan, at this point). I mean that I feel called to work with adoptive moms. It may not be a career path, but definitely something that I can do as a volunteer opportunity. At this point, I'm not sure what that will be but I figured that if I write it down people may hold me accountable to follow through. :)

Staying open

On Monday, Matt and I took CJ down to Tucson to meet up with Brooke. It had been six months since she had seen him, and we were so excited for the visit. As we drove down, I realized that the last time we had made that drive, we were heading down to meet Brooke at the hospital. At that point, the sentimental side of me took over. I pointed out every landmark associated with CJ's adoption:

*The McDonalds in Marana where we met Brooke for the first time.
*The Travel America truck stop in Eloy where we wrote up our covenant.
*We even got off at the exit where Brooke lived when we picked her up for her ultrasound (just four days before he was born).

I am not a sentimental person. I still haven't had my wedding dress cleaned and boxed...and we've been married for eight years. This is different though. It's like I want to store up every possible memory of Caleb. When we started the adoption process, I wondered how I would feel about the child that we would end up adopting. I worried that my feelings would be different than if he/she was a biological child. I worried that I wouldn't feel the same connection or love. Boy, was I wrong. From day one I have loved that little man more than I could have imagined. It's hard to believe, but that love grows mroe and more each day.

We were a little concerned about how CJ would react because he gets a little shy after he naps, and he slept most of the way down. We didn't want Brooke to misread his reaction. Well, our fears were for nothing. As soon as he saw her, a huge smile moved across his face. It made me wonder if he knew who she was. He was with her for nine months, so I would assume that he could still recognize her voice. He may not understand why, but I'm sure he knew that she was familiar to him. It was awesome to watch them sit together and play. I can tell that she has a special place in her heart for him, and that she still wants only the best for him. She seems to be doing well, for which we are very thankful.


CJ playing with a bracelet Brooke was wearing.

I've had a few people lately ask how I am so comfortable with an open adoption. Originally, I wanted an open adoption because research has shown that to be the best option (provided the birth parents are not a danger to the child). Over the last nine months, my mindset has shifted a little. I still believe that it is best if the child is able to connect with his birth family, but now I think it's also because I know that CJ is our son. He is a part of our family, and so is Brooke. I want to be sure that he always knows where he came from.

In the past few weeks, I have had a few opportunities to connect with complete strangers who are interested in adoption. It seems very bizarre that people come to me with questions or advice, but I am really enjoying it. I know how lost I felt at times when we were going through the process. We didn't know many people who had explored adoption, so we didn't have a point of reference. I am actually considering writing a book about our experience. I know that I've been saying that for awhile now, but I actually started it. I'm hopeful that I can finish it. If nothing else, it will be great to have an account of our experiences that I can share with CJ when he is older.

Time to exhale!

What do you mean there's nothing left to do? I've been working on this since December 2009...and it's over. The best way that I can explain my feelings about finalizing CJ's adoption would be to compare it to planning a wedding. You have this build up for many months, during which time there is always something else that you have to be thinking about. Then, the day finally arrives. You go through the hearing (or ceremony, to keep my analogy going), and then you celebrate. Once the celebration ends, everyone goes their separate ways, and it's business as usual. Weird! Trust me, I am in no way complaining that CJ's adoption has been finalized. I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am to tell people that we are done, and that the state now recognizes us as his parents. It just feels very bizarre that we don't have anything else that we need to do.

Yesterday was amazing! I can hardly describe the number of emotions that I experienced within a very short period of time. I'll try to go through the details, since I don't want to forget anything!

Throughout this week, I had been getting progressively more nervous and anxious about our hearing. I don't know why. To keep with the wedding analogy, it's similar to the excitement and nerves that a bride or groom would experience the morning of their wedding. Yesterday morning, I didn't know what to do with myself. The hearing was scheduled for 10am, which was a perfect time. Late enough that we didn't have to rush, but early enough that I didn't have a long time to feel anxious before we went into the courtroom. We were lucky enough to have a few friends and family with us - Tim & Lisa Bristol (CJ's godparents), Matt's parents and Ashley Steele (best friend...practically a sister).

After arriving about 15 minutes early, we went through security. I think I was so focused on the adoption side of things, that I forgot the courthouse also deals with juvenile offenders. It seemed very weird to walk through a metal detector and have my bag checked. Even more interesting, they made people take off their belts. I still don't completely understand that one. Once it was determined that we were not carrying any drugs or weapons, we made our way over to the front desk to get checked in. I was actually surprised how many people were waiting for their turn in the courtroom. It was fun to see the families who were clearly there for a finalization. Everyone was dressed up and excited. Three families were scheduled in each time slot, so at times it was pretty full. We received our courtroom number (#9, in case you were curious) and headed over to wait our turn.

Two people from the County Attorney's Office met with us to explain what they were going to ask, and what to expect. That helped quite a bit. Even though I knew the basic questions, I appreciated going through each of them. As we were talking, I got a call from Sharon. She was at the wrong courthouse! Uh oh! She was on her way and was expecting to arrive within 15 minutes. We asked the attorney what would happen if she wasn't there, and we learned that it wouldn't make a difference. Luckily, with two other families scheduled for 10am, we bought ourselves a little time by going last. Right after the first family came out, Sharon arrived. We got settled, and watched as family number two went in.

By this point, my nerves were going crazy. I finally sat down. If I stood up, I would either rock or pace, which both made me look a little crazy. Finally, it was our turn! We walked into the room and were directed to sit at the front, with our friends and family sitting behind. After we sworn in (not sure if that is the right terminology, but we had to raise our right hand...so it sounds good to me), we went through the series of questions. "Please say and spell your name." Actually, the "spell your name" came after Matt gave his middle name. I'll probably misspell it, but you should know that it is Hawaiian and about 12 letters long. If you see him, ask him to show you his driver's license...pretty entertaining. "Please state your address." "Do you intend to adopt Caleb Josiah, born 1/11/11 in Tucson?" "Are you biologically related to him?" After a few more questions, it was Sharon's turn. She was asked her opinion on our ability to parent. Naturally, we're amazing, so we weren't worried about that one. Then, it was the judges turn. After what felt like an eternity, we heard the magic words. We were legally Caleb's parents! As the judge finished his sentence, CJ let out this squeal/giggle. Talk about perfect timing. It sounded like he was rejoicing as much as we were. We were given the opportunity to take pictures with the judge, and then we headed out to celebrate.





This day was a long time in the making, and we couldn't have made it throughout without the love and support of a lot of people. We are very blessed with those God has placed in our lives. While the process was long and frustrating at times, and we often questioned God's plan for us, it is very clear that he had a very specific plan in place. We could not asked for a more amazing child. God knew what he was doing when he led Brooke to us through Christian Family Care. I cannot imagine our lives without this little man, and I am so excited to see where God takes us in the future!

Why don't they come with manuals?

For the first 6 or 7 months of CJ's life, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of things. Yes, I had moments of worry and confusion, but nothing too serious. Things are relatively simple when the child's schedule consists of eating formula, sleeping, and playing (and more than a few diaper changes). Then, we hit the solid food stage (cue dramatic music).

My first struggle was in deciding whether I should make or purchase CJ's food. After a little pep talk from my sister Emily, I realized that it probably was not going to be that hard to make his food. In the end, the hippie in me won...or was it the cheapo? I am not a whiz in the kitchen, but how hard could it be to steam veggies and fruits and then puree them? At first, it was that easy. Matt and I picked out the fruits and veggies that we wanted to try early on, and then I started making baby food. While not every batch was perfect, CJ is not a picky eater so it worked out. I actually enjoyed the process. I felt very accomplished each time he ate one of my concoctions. In terms of the time commitment, I was pleasantly surprised. I estimate that it takes about an hour each weekend to prep everything. Last weekend, I made a ridiculous amount of food so that I wouldn't have to make it again for 3-4 weeks. That took about 3 total hours, but well worth it!

Finding out which foods to serve at each age is the easy part. What no one helps with is how much to feed them and how/when to add meals to the schedule. At around 7 months, we knew that we would need to add a third meal to his schedule. I continually found websites and books that told me to follow my baby's lead. Does anyone else have an issue with this? I have some ideas of when he's hungry or if he doesn't want to eat anymore, but he rarely turns food away. I knew that I would need to make adjustments based on his needs, but I really only wanted a baseline to follow.

The idea of adding a third meal sounds like it would be easy, but it meant changing around the rest of the day. I probably made it harder than it needed to be, but that's just my style. The difficulty for us is that a change in schedule does not only affect us, but it affects Denise (his daycare provider). While we aren't complete sticklers on his feeding and napping schedule, we have to have a basic outline for the day. I debated on what time he should eat...how much he should eat...if he should take a bottle first in the morning or go straight to solids. It's enough to make you go insane. After a lot of searching, I finally found a few websites that listed examples of a feeding schedule for an 8-month old. An overwhelming sense of relief came over me as I read each one and then created something that I thought would work for CJ.

I am happy to say that we added a third meal to the schedule last weekend, changed his last feeding to around 2 hours earlier, and he still managed to sleep through the night. Yeah! I think he likes the new schedule, especially because he now gets little snacks occasionally. We enjoy the new schedule because it allows us to go to bed earlier. :)

Special Moments

Last Saturday, we had the pleasure of celebrating a birthday with one of our adoption class friends. Their son turned one year, and invited us to his birthday party! It is the first time we've gotten together with anyone from the class since it ended last year. It was so awesome to catch up with them and hear about their experience (which was strangely similar to ours). I'm hopeful that we can keep in touch with other families from the class too. I think it will be important for CJ to have other friends that were adopted. Maybe it's not as important now, but when he realizes what adoption means, I would like him to have other people in his life who have a similar experience. He may not care, but I'd like it to be an option for him. Here's a picture of CJ & Michael in the pool with their Dads.



Last Monday, CJ and I also shared a moment that I will probably not forget...his first boo boo. He was cruising around the living room in his walker when he found the end table. As he tried to pull everything off of it, he bumped his head on the table (just above his eye). It was one of those slow-motion moments when you know something bad is going to happen but you can't do anything about it. That poor child screamed as if I had cut off an arm. I went over to him and he held up his arms to me. That alone made my heart melt, but then he nuzzled his head into my shoulder after I picked him up. It was the first time that I really felt that I was comforting him. Don't get me wrong, there have been many times when he's cried and I've held him to calm him down. I don't know what made this different, but it was. Obviously my goal is to help him avoid pain, but it was still a moment that we shared.


On Saturday, I had some time alone with CJ while Matt was on his staff retreat. At a few different points, I stopped what I was doing and just watched CJ. I was in complete awe of him. Over the past few weeks, it seems like he is grasping more concepts and understanding more about life. It is so fun to watch him put things together in his mind, or respond to something that I do. Even the small things are amazing to me.


As I was staring at him, I decided to reach into his mouth to see if he had made any progress on a tooth. We knew it would be coming soon, but it didn't seem to be in rush. What do you think I found as I reached in...a tooth that had cut through! I actually teared up a little (please don't make fun of me). My little man is growing up! I was so excited that I pried open his mouth so that I could actually see it. This was not an easy feat because his tongue is constantly in the way. I immediately texted Matt and then, of course, posted it on Facebook. I was pretty amazed that we hadn't experienced any crazy crying or pain. I've heard some horror stories about teething. Well, apparently, the pain was waiting just a bit longer because last night (Sunday) around 4pm he went nuts. You could tell that he was in an extreme amount of pain, and there was no consoling him. We tried the teething tabs (which didn't do anything), Orajel (ditto), and finally ended with Tylenol (which did the trick). In between each attempt, we would put a washcloth in ice water and then let him suck on it. That seemed to help for short periods of time. I felt terrible that we weren't able to do anything more for him. Thankfully, around 6pm the pain had subsided and he was back to his jolly self.


The next milestone will probably be some form of crawling. He is so close...


17 days until our finalization!

Have baby, will travel

We recently returned home after a crazy, but awesome, weekend in Moorhead, MN. We flew out to be a part of my sister Liz's wedding. I will admit that the idea of flying a baby halfway across the country terrified me. I think I was more sensitive about it because I had just read an article about how some people are trying to ban babies from flights, stores, etc. I definitely didn't want to be "that family" who was disrupting the entire flight. I finally realized that CJ has never given us reason to worry about his behavior in the past, so why should this be any different?

Packing was made much easier since we were flying Southwest and didn't have to worry about paying for checked bags. I didn't have to worry about what to bring and what not to bring. While most of his stuff was packed into our checked bags, we had plenty to keep him occupied in his diaper bag. I didn't want to pack too much and put him into sensory overload. We were already going to be in a new environment, so he'd have plenty to keep him interested around the plane. We made sure to have a few pacifiers, food, books and toys. With diaper supplies, a burp cloth and blanket, we were ready to go.

As we boarded for the first leg of the trip, you could see the look on people's faces. "Oh man, someone is bringing a baby on board. Now I'll never be able to rest!" I was determined to prove them wrong. As soon as the plane started, CJ fell asleep. He woke up about 30 minutes before landing, which was time for a bottle, and so most people didn't even realize that we had a baby in our row. The trip from Denver to Minneapolis was about the same. He fell asleep for take off, and then played with his toys once he woke up. You better believe I was thanking God for making CJ so easygoing!





I would say the hardest parts of the trip were driving the four hours from Minneapolis to Fargo, and back again. Both ways we just found places to stop so that he wasn't in his car seat for too long. The biggest worry for me came on Saturday night/Sunday morning. He woke up in the middle of the night, clearly uncomfortable. He was practically inconsolable. We think a tooth is getting close to the surface, so he was probably in a lot of pain. A little bit of baby Tylenol did the trick that night, but what was going to happen on the flights home? To make matters worse, our flight from Chicago was delayed. Thankfully, he did very well on the way home. We had one brief outburst at the very end. He was actually asleep when that happened, but got quiet quickly.

Regardless of the amount of travel required, it was simply amazing to watch him with my family. At our last home visit, Sharon asked us how our family has received CJ. This weekend was just a shining example of how he has been welcomed with open arms and hearts. Everyone clearly loves him, and he clearly loves each of them. I look forward to when he's a bit older and can play with cousin Miles. I have a feeling that those two boys will get themselves into some trouble! :)

31 days until our finalization!

A few thoughts...

As we get closer to our finalization (56 days), I have a lot going through my head.

Last week, I met up with some ladies from my church for a "moms group" event. They were all very sweet, and it was great to meet other women in the church. As we talked about kids, the conversation moved to childbirth. Obviously, my experience was very different than their experience. While I was present for CJ's birth, I did not go through labor. At several points, one woman told me how lucky I was to have avoided all that. While I am grateful that I did not have to feel the pain and discomfort that other women feel, I would give anything to go through it. I hear women complain about this and that, and I find myself envious of even the negative aspects of pregnancy. I know that I've joked about not having to lose baby weight, or not having a excuse to get out of housework after CJ came home. I think that was more of a coping mechanism than anything. I know that no one says these things with a mean spirit, but it still hurts a little when people talk about how "lucky" I am. Yes, I am very lucky in that Caleb is our son and he has been healthy and happy. While I am comfortable with the path God has led us down, I still have times when I feel gyped. My advice: avoid comments like that; especially if you haven't been in a similar situation. I see being similar to jokes about family. I can make fun of my family, but you better not make fun of them.

Whew...ok, take a breath; time to get off of my soap box. On a completely different note...

We had our final post-placement visit yesterday. Sharon came over and we caught her up on how Caleb has been growing and developing. Good news, I didn't feel like a crappy mom this time. :) I still felt like we had to defend our decisions about his life, but that could just be my own insecurity. I have appreciated all that CFCA has done for us, but I am really glad it is almost over. We've been in this process for about a year and seven months. We met Sharon for the first time at the end of December, 2009. It's crazy to think about how much time has passed and how much I have learned in that time. I think the exciting thing about having kids is that you are always learning something. Some of Sharon's questions yesterday reminded me of how much I didn't know when we started. God has led us on a wild journey, and it's only just beginning.

For those that haven't heard, we received our court date for the finalization. On September 15th at 10am, Caleb will officially become a member of our family. The funny thing is that since he already feels like our son, this almost seems unnecessary. I know that we need to get the stamp of approval from the state. I would compare it to receiving your diploma six months after you have finished college. Yes, it is the official document, but you're already a college grad. You've been introducing yourself as a grad. Now, you just have something awesome to hang on your wall. Despite my jokes, I am very excited for September 15th! Don't worry, plenty of pictures will be posted on Facebook!

Almost there...

An answer to prayer...we went in yesterday to sign documents with the Maricopa County Attorney's Office. This puts us one step closer to finalizing CJ's adoption. I was actually nervous as we drove down to Mesa yesterday. The woman we met with, Kim, was very nice and walked us through the rest of the process. Thankfully, there isn't too much left!

They will file everything with the court, and we should be able to find out our court date on July 11th. Our date should be within the next 90 days, although it could be much sooner than that. We will go to the Mesa location for our finalization, which Kim said was a good thing. It sounds like they get families on the court docket a little faster than the Phoenix location. Sounds good to me!

It's funny, sometimes I forget that we are still in the process of adopting CJ. At home, we're constantly living in the moment, and watching him grow and develop. It isn't until we get a phone call or letter that I realize that we are not legally his parents yet. I take that to mean that we've adjusted well to each other. At this point, it's hard to remember our lives B.C. (before Caleb).

I also want to throw in a little something about Father's Day. I just realized that I didn't post anything, and I thought it was important to put at least a few sentiments into this post. I've waited a long time to be able to tell Matt "Happy Father's Day," and I know he's been waiting a long time to hear those words. Sometimes I forget how blessed I am to be married to such a great guy. I take it for granted that he is an honest, faithful and loving provider for our family. I know that he has made sacrifices since we welcomed CJ in January, and I hope he realizes how much I appreciate that. I have told him, but I know I need to be more intentional about showing my appreciation. I am so grateful for all that he does. He is a wonderful role model for CJ!

CJ's First Road Trip!

This past weekend, we loaded up the car and headed to Flagstaff for a few days. Thanks to the generosity of a family at Matt’s school, we were able to stay in a cabin with CJ’s godparents (and our dear friends) Tim & Lisa. As we planned for the trip, I was so excited. We were going to Antelope Canyon on Saturday, Sedona on Sunday, and taking lots of opportunities to just relax. About a week before the trip, I realized that I was going to have to pack for a baby! Holy cow…

So I did what any Type A person would do, I made a list. I mentally went through the day, and wrote down everything that we use. As I wrote, I could not believe how much goes into the day of a baby. When you are at home, you take for granted the fact that everything is right there at your fingertips. Even getting him ready for daycare wasn’t that bad because I didn’t have to worry about activities or a bed. A road trip was a whole different scenario!

At one point, I definitely got a little concerned that we wouldn’t have enough room in the trunk. Mind you, we were taking our SUV, so there should have been ample space for all of the luggage. I put all of the “necessities” in a stack on our bed, took one look, and realized that I would have to cut it down. After some work, I got it down to a manageable size, but there was still a lot of stuff. The Pack & Play, Bumbo, and Boppy were necessities in my mind. We needed places for him to sleep, eat and relax. Unfortunately, he did not like sleeping in the Pack & Play, so we had to use his car seat at night. Not ideal, but it did help with his congestion (we think from the altitude change). Other than food, diapers/wipes, clothes and blankets, we really didn’t need much else. I think because we have so many other baby items, we feel like he can’t live without them. I just had to keep reminding myself that as long as he is clean, rested and fed, he’s a pretty happy guy. We didn’t need to worry about bringing much else. After all, his favorite “toy” right now is a burp cloth.

Ultimately, we had a great time. Even hiking wasn’t difficult with him, although those baby carriers make you really hot. While we didn’t have all of the luxuries of being at our house, we had enough to get by. It was a nice trial run. This summer, we’ll be traveling to two weddings (one includes flying), so we now have a better idea of how to prepare.



I hope that we continue to do things like this. I really want CJ to experience as much as possible, even though he is just a baby right now. Hopefully, we can get him used to going different places, so that he stays somewhat flexible with his schedule. We’ll see…

On the move!

Well, in less than 24 hours, CJ hit not one, but two milestones. Within just a few short hours of posting an update about his first experience with rice cereal, I have another big piece of news to report. He has rolled over! Sadly, I had just gone out to run a few errands. Not to worry, he graciously rolled over again this morning so that I could witness his big accomplishment.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, he had been getting very close to rolling over. He just couldn't figure out how to move that back leg. Last night, he got so frustrated on his back that he kicked over and made the full rotation.

My worry was that he was going to roll while at daycare, which would have made sense because he is there for a good portion of the day. I just wanted to be there to witness it. Well, it didn't happen at daycare, but I sure did miss it. :( I literally had been gone only 15 minutes...go figure. Matt called me and the first words out of his mouth were "you're gonna be mad." I assumed something had broken or spilled. I was so bummed to find out what I'd missed! If I'd just left a little later, I could have been there. Oh well. What are you going to do? Thankfully, he did it again this morning for me. Big smiles!

As soon as he rolled this morning, we commented that we'll need to be more careful about leaving him alone now. Before, if I put him on our obnoxiously large ottoman, it was no big deal. Now, one roll and he's practically at the edge! As we were talking about this, we both went into the kitchen to clean up our breakfast dishes. CJ made a weird sound, so I peeked around the corner. I'm sure you can guess what he'd done. No, he had not rolled off the ottoman, but he had rolled over again. That just confirmed our earlier conversation!

All of this excitement further proved that these milestones are going to start coming fast. Every day he is picking up something else. It is simply amazing to watch him grasp a new action or idea.

I'm definitely one proud mama!

A meal fit for a king!

This past weekend, CJ hit a milestone - first solid food! Now, if someone had fed me the same mixture, I would have considered a liquid. In CJ's world, it was definitely thicker than his average meal.

After our four month check up a few weeks ago, we had been trying to decide when to start CJ on solid foods. While I was excited, the thought of adding something else to the mix was a little intimidating. After all, I can handle making a bottle! Once we start on solids, there is no turning back. As you probably know, CJ is quite the eater, and it became clear that he was ready to try some rice cereal. We figured that we'd give it a shot. If he didn't respond well, then we would just wait a week or two and then try again.

Yesterday, we got him up and started the preparations. You would have thought we were fixing him a steak dinner for as much effort as we put into this process. Matt got him ready while I concocted CJ's breakfast of champions. Then, the moment arrived. Matt brought him down and put him in his high chair (which has an awesome recline feature). I let Matt handle the first bites while I took care of the video and pictures. Bite one...gobbled it up! I don't think he really knew what it was at first, but that didn't stop him from wanting more. In fact, he literally would start crying in between bites because we were taking too long. If you've seen pictures of CJ recently, you would know that he is far from starving, so it was a little comical that he would get so upset.



He finished all of the cereal we had prepared and would probably have gone for seconds if we had allowed it. Instead, he washed it down with the rest of his bottle.



Success! We got video footage, great pictures, and not as much mess as we had anticipated. Our little man is a great eater!



This morning was day two of the rice cereal experience. Not only did he gobble it up again, he opened up his mouth every time the spoon got close. It was hilarious to watch. We still have to wait a few days to make sure that the cereal doesn't have any adverse affects on his digestive system. If everything works the way it is supposed to, then we'll add a second meal each day.

We've made the cereal pretty thin these first two days, so the next step will be to thicken it up a bit. Soon enough, we will be adding veggies and fruits to the mix. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I should make my own baby food, or just buy it. I know how much money it would save to make our own, but am I willing to invest the time. My cheapness is leaning toward making my own, but we'll see.

I will admit that I had a moment this morning. While I was spooning in the rice cereal, I realized that he is growing up. He even looked like a little man sitting in his high chair. One step at a time, he is moving farther away from being a baby. Exciting and sad, all at the same time.

Trying to be patient!

In many of my earlier posts, I commented on how much patience I was having to develop as we waited to be placed with a baby. I am not sure why, but I figured that once we brought our little man home, the waiting would be over. Guess what...I was wrong! The waiting continues! We are still waiting to hear from the County Attorney's office. They will have us come in to sign a petition to adopt. Then, more waiting. After that has been filed, we will be assigned a court date to finalize the adoption. Then, and only then, will our waiting be over.

I am trying to be patient; after all, we have a beatiful baby boy at home to keep us busy. There are a million things to keep my mind off of the adoption process and on our little man. While I know that he is part of our family, I would really like to have that recognized by the state. Ok, now is the point when you say "but you only brought him home four months ago" and when I reply "yes, I realize that." You should know me well enough to realize that I am impatient.

In the meantime, we get to enjoy all of the little milestones that CJ has been hitting, or that are coming soon. He is now reaching for things and pulling them towards his mouth (of course). He follows objects with his eyes and "talks" to us. He also giggles when we make funny faces or noises. There is no greater satisfaction than having a baby laugh at something you do.

Any day now, he will roll over for the first time. He's almost there, but can't quite swing one leg over. We'll be starting solid foods in the next few weeks, which will definitely be put on video for all to enjoy. I just read today that we are quickly approaching the time when babies sit up. I am amazed by how much they change in such a short period of time. Every day he figures something out, and every day I am convinced that my son is a genius!

I realize that I need to update our blog pictures since none of them include CJ. I will do that soon, I promise!

Happy Mother's Day

With tomorrow being Mother's Day, I thought this would be a perfect time to write a post. I have literally waited five years for my turn to celebrate this special day. Don’t get me wrong, I hope to celebrate like I just won the lottery, because that is how I feel. God has given me a gift that is priceless – my little CJ. While I am celebrating, there are a lot of women who struggle with this day. I have thought a lot about how Mother’s Day affected me while we were waiting for a child. As you read this, just know that I always celebrate(d) the mothers in my life. I do not want to take anything away from them, or the amazing job that they do every day. For the purposes of this blog, I’m focusing on myself (selfish, yes, but it was my reality).

The first year or two, I didn’t mind Mother’s Day. There was so much hope that we would get pregnant quickly. After all, it had been almost immediate for many of our friends. In my heart and head, I congratulated myself on the mother that I would be one day. I celebrated my future children and the work that I would put into parenting.

As the years past, and still no baby, I started to dread the second Sunday in May each year. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't like going to church because they always ask the mothers to stand up; yet another reminder that I was not part of that elite group. While I wanted to hide my head in the sand for that day, I felt guilty that I was focusing on myself when so many mothers were deserving of praise.

By the fifth year, I started to think my turn would never come. We had just started the adoption process and I was sure that we would be the couple who didn’t get placed. It’s funny how your mind goes straight for the internal pity party. While I can look back and realize how silly it was, I recognize that a lot of women feel the same way. I don’t think it is something that we should be ashamed of. Yes, it may be selfish, but you cannot help how you feel. The worst thing you can do, which is what I did, is to pretend like it doesn’t bother you. If you’re waiting for a child to enter your family and have similar feelings, please find a method of releasing your frustration.

As you look forward to celebrating the special moms in your life, please be sensitive to those around you. You never know who is struggling with the desire to be a mom. If you know of a women who is trying to conceive or waiting to adopt, please don’t say things like “You’re day will come” or “You’re a mother at heart.” It doesn’t help (especially if you haven't had difficulty conceiving). I’m not asking you to avoid celebration. Mothers work harder than most, and deserve to be treated like queens. I’m just asking you to be more aware. While waiting for my day to come was frustrating at times, I am now experiencing more joy than I could imagine. If you are waiting for your little angel, just know that I have you in my prayers.

I am so grateful for all of the mothers in my life. Specifically, my mom, sister and mother-in-law. I appreciate all you’ve done to teach me how to be a good mom. I hope I can be as good to my son as you have been to me. I love you!

Post-placement visits

We had our second post-placement visit today. These aren't usually something I worry about. We really like Sharon, our counselor, so the conversation usually flows pretty well. The visits are really just intended to see how things are going at home, and to find out how we're adjusting to our new life. Questions come up about his eating, sleeping, behavior patterns and our relationship. The visits are every 90 days until the adoption is finalized. God willing, today was our last visit.

It's not that I mind answering questions about life with CJ; at least I know the answers. Today, I felt a little judged. I have been going back and forth with feeling good about going back to work full time. I love my job, and I don't know that I would be good at staying home full time. On the other hand, I have to watch other people raise my son. Thank goodness that Matt is able to be with him during all school breaks or I would probably go crazy.

I should preface this by sharing that CJ goes to three different people during the week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday he goes to an in-home daycare with Denise. Tuesdays he's with Amanda and Thursdays he's with Ashley.

The question came up about daycare during our visit today, and I answered with a certain level of confidence. After all, we like the women who are helping us, and are very comfortable with having CJ stay with them during the day. Sharon shared that they suggest trying to limit how many people are with adopted children so that attachment issues don't arise. Inside, I got really defensive. Outside, I just smiled. That was a dagger through the heart. As if I don't feel bad enough about having him in daycare. I understand the attachment issues that may come up, but I'm pretty sure he knows that Matt and I are different from everyone else.

I know that a lack of confidence is present in a lot of first-time moms, but I think adoption throws another level of craziness into the mix. Not only am I trying to figure out parenting, but I also have to explain myself to someone every 90 days. I also feel a higher level of responsibility because he isn't technically my son yet. I feel as though I have to keep proving myself in order for this to be finalized.

Please don't think Sharon is some horrible person who is looking for problems within our family. She is wonderful and truly cares about CJ's well-being, as well as our sanity. Mother Teresa could ask me the same questions and I would feel equally judged by her.

I survived!

I am officially a working mom! I made it through my first week back to work after three months. I experienced such a wide variety of feelings throughout the past four days. Monday night, I was a little worried about how I would do. I thought I was ready, but wasn't completely sure. My first two days back, Matt stayed home so I wasn't too concerned. It was great for them to spend so much time together after Matt had been gone for a week with his class. For the remaining two days, CJ spent time with two friends. While Thursday was a little sad for me, I really didn't stress too much. I'm proud to say that in those four days, I probably only checked in on him twice. Not too bad! I really count us blessed to have friends who are willing to offer up so much of their time to help us out. I think that is the reason that I was able to make it through the week. That, and my schedule was crazy. I'm definitely back to work.

On my drive home each day, I have been so tired. My daily schedule now starts earlier, ends later and has a lot more in between. The funny thing is that when I get home, I have a burst of energy because all I want to do is play with the little man. It's so refreshing! That tiredness comes back as soon as CJ goes to bed for the night. While I am able to fall asleep, my quality of sleep has been suffering! Even when I sleep I am still half listening for noises from the baby monitor. Occasionally, he decides to wake up earlier than usual. Take this morning for example, 4am was apparently a great time to wake up. It took almost 45 minutes to get him back to sleep. By the time I laid him down, it was time for me to get up and get ready for work (it was an early day, I don't always get up at 5am). Gone are the days when I can hit the snooze or make up my sleep on the weekend. I just hope my body can adjust quickly!

I'm a little embarrassed to share this, but it's part of my experience so you get to hear about it. Throughout my leave, I would occasionally have nightmares that CJ was in our bed, and that we had rolled over on him. I would wake up pushing Matt out of the way or digging through the covers to find him. Each time, I would be in a panic because I couldn't find him. Each time, Matt would bring me back to reality and explain that the baby was not in our bed. As my first day back approached, the nightmares came more often. On Monday night, I practically pushed Matt out of bed. I'm not really sure why the nightmares started because we don't have him sleep in our bed. These dreams don't help in getting rest because it takes time to calm down again. I'm not sure if these dreams are normal or if other moms have had similar experiences (maybe with a different dream). I don't know what it means but I'm sure I could find an answer online. You know what...I'm not even going to look. My guess is that each new mom goes through something weird at some point, whether they admit it or not. While I'm sure I look foolish during the nightmare, I'll look back at this and laugh. I just hope that they stop soon because I don't know how much longer I want to deal with it. :)

Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to work I go.

I am trying to decide how I feel about going back to work. My immediate reaction is excitement. While I wouldn't trade my time with CJ for anything, I enjoy my job and have missed it over the past few months. I was so used to working that it was quite a transition for me to stay home. On the other hand, I know how great it would be if I could stay home and spend each day with our little man. I have really enjoyed watching him grow and develop. While it hasn't always been easy, it is an experience like no other. My "proud" moments are vastly different than they are with my job. Examples of new proud moments - waiting it out while he cries before taking a nap, giving him a bath by myself, and learning how to do a lot of things around the house with just one hand. They may seem trivial, but they bring me great joy.

It's been funny to hear people's reactions when I tell them that I plan to go back to working full time. "Oh, you mean you're not staying home?" It's as if my son will develop some horrible condition if I am not the person caring for him. I'll admit that I was very apprehensive at first, until we got our childcare squared away. Now that I know who will be watching him, I feel so much better! I'm excited for him to have so much interaction with other children as he grows up.

I'm sure that I'll be sad the first few days that I am back at work, but I'll get into my routine again. At that point, I'll appreciate my time with him even more. I'll be living for my evenings and weekends. ;) It also helps knowing that in June, Matt will become the stay-at-home parent for two months. Maybe one day we'll be in a position for me to stay home, but for now we're grateful to God that we have great people to help care for him.

Prayer for Caleb

This is the prayer, written by Brooke's cousin (Justin) for the Entrustment Ceremony.


Caleb Josiah

May you possess a great name in the earth and Heaven above.

See yourself as you truly are - the salt of the earth and light of the world.

What is desired is that you take hold of all that your Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ, has provided for you. There will be much opposition but you must remember that you fight from a position of victory. Be strong and of very great courage. Obey those God has put over you and inherit His promise of a long life on the earth.

May you have the patience of Job, the faith of Abraham, be a leader like Moses, a warrior like Joshua, with the heart of David, and commitment of Uriah, the wisdom of Solomon, and blessings of Jabez.

Amen.

Baptism Weekend - 2/20/2011

Just over a week ago, our little man was baptized into Christ's family. What an awesome day! Actually, the whole weekend was pretty awesome. We had quite a few family and friends come into town for the occasion. It was so cool to watch our family members meet CJ for the first time. While he won't remember this, it will be imprinted in my mind forever (along with the 400 pictures that we all took).

Saturday night, after most of our family had arrived, we went to dinner at a local pizza place. We pretty much took over the dining area and enjoyed time catching up, passing the baby around, and eating delicious pizza. It reminded us a lot of our rehearsal dinner, which was also at a pizza place.

Sunday was amazing! Matt's Grandpa Fischer (who also baptized Matt) performed the baptism. CJ wore the baptismal gown made by my Grandma Fincke, which was worn by me, my dad, my brother and my nephew. The gown confused a few people at church, who commented on how beautiful our daughter was. What are you going to do? I corrected a few people, but I just couldn't correct one of the little old ladies. I'm sure she figured it out when the pastor introduced Caleb Josiah. We packed the church with friends and family, who have supported us throughout this entire process. It was really neat to look out into the congregation and feel so much love. After church, we invited everyone back to our house for a party. While there was very little room to move, it was fun to catch up with everyone. It touched our hearts that so many people were there to support us. One highlight from the party was watching Great-Grandpa Fischer hold little CJ with such a big grin on his face. All in all, it was a very special day!

While having 5 adults and 1 child stay at our house was a little chaotic at times, I was so sad to see everyone go on Tuesday morning. It reminded me how much we want CJ to know his extended family as he grows up. Thank goodness we live in a time with Skype! While it was hard to see everyone go, we look forward to August when we all meet up to celebrate the wedding of my sister Liz.

Month in Review

As you can imagine, I've learned quite a bit over the past month. It seems like everyday brings a new lesson. Here are ten things I've learned, in no particular order:

1. Showering is optional, unless you are going out in public. There have been days that I just cannot find the time to take a shower. Some of you may be thankful that you haven't seen me in awhile.

2. Figuring out what a baby's cry means is not immediate. It takes time to learn what the baby wants/needs. We still have plenty of times when I have to try four different remedies before CJ stops crying.

3. It's OK to say "Thank you" when someone says "You look great for having a 1 month old!" At first, I would explain that he was adopted, as if to justify how I look. Then, I realized that accepting a compliment never hurt anyone. :)

4. Baby books cannot be trusted. Unless you read them with a grain of salt, you'll only end up feeling bad about how you're raising your child. I decided early on to read these as though I was at a buffet; take what looks good and leave the other stuff behind.

5. Random people are never at a loss for advice, suggestions or criticism.
I've been relatively lucky with this so far, but it is amazing how bold people (read old ladies) can be.

6. People don't know what to expect with an adopted child. It seems like most are surprised that he looks "normal." No, he doesn't have a bunch of warts or a hump on his back. I love hearing people talk about how cute he is, but some really seem like they were expecting to see Quasimoto.

7. Baby farts are always funny. Enough said!

8. The phrase "Nap while he's napping" should actually be "Do whatever you want during nap time." Everyone tells you to take naps when the baby does, but that isn't always possible. I have to be at the point where I literally can't keep my eyes open before I can nap. Matt can confirm that I don't always wake up well from a nap, and CJ really doesn't need to see that side of me yet. When I'm tired, I nap. Otherwise, I get ahead on cleaning, laundry or bottles.

9. Often, what is bothering mommy isn't bothering baby. CJ has had a stuffy nose for about a week. It doesn't seem to be a problem for him; I cringe every time he takes a breath. He also gets frequent hiccups. I feel terrible because his whole body convulses with each hiccup. He just sits there while it happens, acting no differently than when the hiccups are gone.

10. CJ is the most amazing baby ever. At first I thought I was biased, but after a month's worth of observation I realized that this is actually a fact. :)

So much to learn!

It's hard to believe that CJ is almost three weeks old. I have not be great about updating this blog, but I'm hoping to get better about posting new stuff.

I don't even know where to begin other than to say that this new life of ours is amazing. I knew that life would change once CJ arrived, but I don't think I was prepared for how much. Don't get me wrong, I love him in a way that I didn't know was possible, but that definitely doesn't mean that it's always been easy.

When we first brought him home, I really felt as though we were babysitting a friend's baby. It didn't feel real. I didn't feel like a mom...whatever that means. Over the past few weeks, I have slowly started to realize this new role. I don't know that I fully feel like a mom, but I know that I am well on my way. It really put my mind at ease when a friend (with a biological baby) told me that she had experienced the same thing. It takes time. We're building a relationship.

One of my first "mom" experiences came during a dr appt. CJ was crying pretty hard while our pediatrician (who is amazing) was examining him. I can't say that I blame him. The room was cold and he was almost naked...I'd be upset if I had to go through that. Anyway, the doctor had tried a few things to calm him, but it wasn't working. I leaned down, touched his head and started talking to him. Within a few seconds, he had stopped crying. Talk about a rush of emotion; it was awesome. Since we're on the topic, I just have to mention how incredibly blessed we are that he is so healthy. We were not sure if he would have any issues, and are extremely relieved that we are in the clear so far. At each of our appts, our doctor has shared her excitement for his continued good health and development. We pray that he continues to stay healthy and strong.

I've always heard people talk about how amazing babies are, and how you marvel at everything they do. I had experienced that a little with my friends' children, but am at a whole different level now. I could literally watch him for hours. I love how his face crinkles up at random times, and how he goes into a milk coma after feedings, and the noise he makes when his sneeze doesn't come out all the way. Matt and I have talked about how excited we are for the day when he smiles at us because he is happy, and not because he has gas. I cherish each moment I have with him, but look forward to when he is able to interact with us more.

I guess I'll end with what I miss the most...sleep. I am learning how to survive on around 5 decent hours of sleep each night. He typically goes about three hours from the start of one feeding, to the start of the next. Between feeding, burping and changing, it takes about 45 minutes per feeding. That means that I get about 2 hours of sleep at a time. Unfortunately, his sleep has become more restless in the past few days, so he is constantly groaning and making little baby noises (which actually sound more like animal noises). I feel worse for Matt because he has to get up each morning for work, so he really needs a good night's rest. We'll get used to it...soon, I hope. :)

As we adjust to our new role as parents, we look forward to showing CJ off to each of you. You have all played an important role in our lives, and in this process. Now that he is here, I am even more grateful for the support that you have given. We have been truly blessed!

Simply amazing!!!

I realized this morning that I should probably write down all that happened one week ago. Please don't feel as though you have to read this; I just wanted to make sure that I don't forget any of the wonderful details.

Monday, January 10th
3:00pm - Got a call from Brooke that she was dilated 4cm. Her doctor told her that it could be any day, but that they would induce on Thursday (1/14) if the baby hadn't arrived sooner.
8:45pm - Got another call from Brooke asking us to head down to the hospital.
8:47pm - on the road - just kidding, but we were on the road within 10 minutes
10:45pm - arrived at Tucson Medical Center

Tuesday, January 11th
12:30am - Doctor stopped by and was pleased by Brooke's progress. He said that if her labor slowed down at all, they would give her pitocin to speed it along. He ordered her epidural, which helped her out a lot.
4:00am - Contractions slowed down quite a bit, so they gave her pitocin to get it moving. It immediately started the contractions again.
5:00am - She was ready to start pushing, but had to wait a few minutes until the doctor could arrive.
5:24am - Our little angel arrived, after only two pushes from Brooke. He was ready!!

7lbs, 4oz
19.5 in

The only way that I can describe the birth was amazing! To witness a new life join this world was incredible. I thought I would stay back a bit, but I was right up at the front throughout. I even cut his umbilical cord.

After all of the various tests and assessments, it was determined that Caleb was in perfect health...praise God!

We spent all day Tuesday in the nursery and visiting with Brooke. In the early afternoon, we had the entrustment ceremony (which was awesome). Brooke's cousin, Justin, wrote a special prayer for the occasion. As he finished the prayer, Brooke handed Caleb over to us, entrusting him in our care. It was very emotional, but simple and beautiful. During this time, we were also able to meet Brooke's aunt and uncle. We spent as much time with Caleb as possible that day, to really start developing the bond. The nursery staff were nice enough to get us an extra wristband for Matt (required for entry into the nursery). At about 9:30pm, after 40 hours at the hospital, we went over to our hotel across the street to get a little sleep. We had hoped to stay at the hospital, but they had a lot of women come in to deliver and did not have any extra space for us. We slept for 9 hours, and probably could have gone a couple more if we weren't so excited to get back to see him.

Wednesday, we again spent most of the day with Caleb. We got to visit with Brooke for a few minutes, but she was released a few hours before Caleb. They let us use the waiting room in the maternity ward as a room for the day, since not a lot of people were in there. Matt's dad drove down during lunch and got to spend a few hours with his grandson. Very special!! In the mid-afternoon, Caleb's nurse informed us that he was ready to be discharged once our counselor could come and sign the documents. The baby was signed over to Christian Family Care's custody, and they turned him over to our care. We are technically foster parents until we are able to get our court date to finalize the adoption. At around 5:30pm, the nurse escorted us out to our car, and we were on our way home. It was very surreal to drive to Phoenix with a newborn baby riding with us!

Showered with love!

Our family and friends are such a blessing. Over the past two weeks, we have had a few baby showers. Friends at West campus planned a shower for me just before Christmas, and we were able to stock up on receiving blankets, onesies, and other amazingly cute items! Yesterday, my girlfriends hosted a shower for me while Matt's friends planned a "man shower." We now have a great stock of baby toiletries, diapers, wipes, and other essentials. The wonderful faculty and staff at Shepherd all pitched in and bought us our travel system. The remaining items we've needed have been given to us by friends who are no longer using them. I don't know that we are able to fully thank everyone, not only for the gifts but also for the prayers.

As we move into the final days before the baby arrives, we want to let you know that we'll do our best to keep you updated. Once we get the call to head down to Tucson, we'll have my sister post updates on Facebook (once our family gets a call, of course). As soon as we get internet access, and have the time, we'll post updates as well.

For friends that live nearby, we hope you understand that we'll go into seclusion for a few weeks once he arrives. Family - you are obviously welcome anytime. Once we adjust to life as parents, we'll start inviting people over.

Please pray that we have patience as we wait through these final days, pray for Brooke as she prepares for childbirth, and pray that Baby Fischer is healthy.