It has been some time since I updated our blog, and a lot has happened. In my last posting, we had just talked with Heidi (a potential birth mom) and Michelle (the baby’s paternal grandma). The conversation was great, and we booked a flight out to Minnesota to meet them. Everything was going according to plan (which should have been my first indication that something would happen) when our agency called on Friday, November 19th.
A birth mother (Brooke) in Tucson had selected our profile, and wanted to meet us. The pregnancy counselor gave us a little information about her, and asked if we were open to the meeting. I called Sharon to find out if this would be appropriate. We were already talking with another family, and I didn’t want to make the wrong move. She advised us that it would not hurt anything to look at this option, as well as the Minnesota couple. God opened this door for us, and we shouldn’t close it before seeing what it has to offer. I called Matt to give him the crazy news, and then called back down to Tucson to set up a meeting.
So, on Wednesday, November 24th, we drove to a McDonalds in Tucson to meet Brooke. I was nervous. This was our first face-to-face meeting with a birth mom. We were not sure what to expect. On the drive down, we compiled our list of questions, and practiced answering questions that she may have asked us. We wanted to be ready for anything. As always, we were way over-prepared.
The meeting went very well. She was really nice, and provided us with a lot of great information about her history, health and current living situation. She was open and honest with us; which we really appreciated. She is expecting a boy in mid-January, and is confident that adoption is the route she would like to take. She has had other children, who have also been placed for adoption. We have a few concerns, which we are researching right now.
Now comes he hard part…We’ll meet with Brandon & Heidi this weekend in Minnesota. On our flight home, we will have to decide how we want to proceed. We are praying for God’s guidance in this situation, as I definitely do not feel equipped to make the decision. There are pros and cons to both birth moms/families, so we will need to identify which we are better suited to handle. Sunday night and Monday will be especially difficult. Once we are back, and have made a decision, I will post an update.
Thank you in advance for prayers!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Our first meeting!
I apologize to all of our friends and family who have been patiently (or not so patiently) waiting for an update on our recent phone call. I know you’re interested in how things went, so here you go…
Before I begin, I’ll let you know that Heidi and Brandon are the birth parents and Michelle is the paternal grandma. This will make my story-telling a little easier.
“A little anxious” does not even begin to describe how I felt on Tuesday. Throughout the entire day, I kept thinking about the possible conversations that would take place that night. Thankfully, my work schedule was a little busy in the afternoon, so the time flew by. I knew that they would probably be feeling just as nervous, but that didn’t ease my nerves at all. When I got home from work, I changed into really comfortable clothes and sat quietly for about 15 minutes. Matt can tell you that to have me sit quietly for that long is almost a miracle. It was nice to just be still and focus my thoughts…an episode of The Office helped too.
At 5:30pm, we turned off the TV, gathered everything together, and said a prayer. Dialing the phone was exciting and scary, all at the same time. Michelle picked up and we talked with her for about 30 minutes. She described Brandon and Heidi and a little about their situation. At one point, she stopped and apologized for “rambling” and told us how nervous she was. What a relief!! We told her that we were just as nervous, and everyone seemed to feel a lot better after that. She then put Heidi on the phone (Brandon wasn’t able to be there). We all asked each other questions, and shared a little about ourselves. We were pretty excited to learn more about their family since we didn’t have a lot of information. When we hung up the phone, we said another prayer and then tried to focus on other things.
Some details that I think you’d want to know about:
•While they are not sure, the expected due date is in May.
•We do not know the sex of the baby, although they haven’t had a girl on Brandon’s side of the family in four (yes, four) generations.
•Almost all of their family is supportive of the decision to place their child. There are a few that are not 100% comfortable with the idea yet.
•They are hoping for an open adoption, which is exactly what we would like as well. With our family living relatively close, we can easily find time to visit Brandon and Heidi in the future.
Our next step would be to arrange a meeting, if they so desire. We want them to be totally comfortable with this process, and so we are allowing them to make many of the decisions. We’ve told them that we are happy to talk to them whenever they have questions, and would be happy to travel out to Minnesota to visit with them in person.
You are welcome to e-mail me with questions that you have. I won’t guarantee that I’ll answer everything, but it’s worth a shot.
Please pray for Brandon, Heidi and the rest of their family as they continue to think and pray about this.
Before I begin, I’ll let you know that Heidi and Brandon are the birth parents and Michelle is the paternal grandma. This will make my story-telling a little easier.
“A little anxious” does not even begin to describe how I felt on Tuesday. Throughout the entire day, I kept thinking about the possible conversations that would take place that night. Thankfully, my work schedule was a little busy in the afternoon, so the time flew by. I knew that they would probably be feeling just as nervous, but that didn’t ease my nerves at all. When I got home from work, I changed into really comfortable clothes and sat quietly for about 15 minutes. Matt can tell you that to have me sit quietly for that long is almost a miracle. It was nice to just be still and focus my thoughts…an episode of The Office helped too.
At 5:30pm, we turned off the TV, gathered everything together, and said a prayer. Dialing the phone was exciting and scary, all at the same time. Michelle picked up and we talked with her for about 30 minutes. She described Brandon and Heidi and a little about their situation. At one point, she stopped and apologized for “rambling” and told us how nervous she was. What a relief!! We told her that we were just as nervous, and everyone seemed to feel a lot better after that. She then put Heidi on the phone (Brandon wasn’t able to be there). We all asked each other questions, and shared a little about ourselves. We were pretty excited to learn more about their family since we didn’t have a lot of information. When we hung up the phone, we said another prayer and then tried to focus on other things.
Some details that I think you’d want to know about:
•While they are not sure, the expected due date is in May.
•We do not know the sex of the baby, although they haven’t had a girl on Brandon’s side of the family in four (yes, four) generations.
•Almost all of their family is supportive of the decision to place their child. There are a few that are not 100% comfortable with the idea yet.
•They are hoping for an open adoption, which is exactly what we would like as well. With our family living relatively close, we can easily find time to visit Brandon and Heidi in the future.
Our next step would be to arrange a meeting, if they so desire. We want them to be totally comfortable with this process, and so we are allowing them to make many of the decisions. We’ve told them that we are happy to talk to them whenever they have questions, and would be happy to travel out to Minnesota to visit with them in person.
You are welcome to e-mail me with questions that you have. I won’t guarantee that I’ll answer everything, but it’s worth a shot.
Please pray for Brandon, Heidi and the rest of their family as they continue to think and pray about this.
Monday, November 1, 2010
An update already!!
Well, I didn't think that I would be updating the blog so soon! I just got a text from the potential family that they would like to talk. We have set up a phone call for tomorrow night to start getting to know each other. I'll be sure to add another update after we get more information.
Thanks for the prayers!!
Thanks for the prayers!!
One step closer!!
It’s been a few weeks since our last blog entry, which is because we really haven’t had anything exciting to share. We were slowly starting to wonder if maybe the couple had changed their minds, or just didn’t like the letter we sent. Either way, it was hard not knowing what they were thinking.
Last night, we received an exciting phone call. Matt’s Aunt Mary called to let us know that the couple is interested in talking with us. They had lost the cover letter that I sent, which included our contact information. That explained why they had not been in touch. They asked if we could send another copy of the letter so that they can schedule some time to talk. Could they!? Of course!!
I did what anyone else would do…I overnighted them a copy of our letter. My thinking is that there is no reason to delay this any further. The sooner they get our letter, the better! They should have it in hand by Wednesday at the latest.
While this doesn’t guarantee anything, we are still excited that they would like to talk. This is the farthest we’ve gotten in the process with a birth family. I’ll do my best to update the blog so you can see what is going on. We’re hopeful that we can schedule time to Skype with them, which is preferred over a phone call.
I know that we’ll be extremely nervous when the time comes to talk with them, and I am pretty sure they will feel the same way. I’m just hoping that we are all comfortable talking with each other. Please pray that all goes well.
Last night, we received an exciting phone call. Matt’s Aunt Mary called to let us know that the couple is interested in talking with us. They had lost the cover letter that I sent, which included our contact information. That explained why they had not been in touch. They asked if we could send another copy of the letter so that they can schedule some time to talk. Could they!? Of course!!
I did what anyone else would do…I overnighted them a copy of our letter. My thinking is that there is no reason to delay this any further. The sooner they get our letter, the better! They should have it in hand by Wednesday at the latest.
While this doesn’t guarantee anything, we are still excited that they would like to talk. This is the farthest we’ve gotten in the process with a birth family. I’ll do my best to update the blog so you can see what is going on. We’re hopeful that we can schedule time to Skype with them, which is preferred over a phone call.
I know that we’ll be extremely nervous when the time comes to talk with them, and I am pretty sure they will feel the same way. I’m just hoping that we are all comfortable talking with each other. Please pray that all goes well.
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