To say that this year brought surprises would be an understatement. When we began 2014, we had only hoped that we could get custody of Alex. By March, we had accepted the fact that God may have designed our family with just one child. April brought news of a new baby and in May we found out we'd be bringing home two kids. Unreal!
The summer brought us a whirlwind family vacation, an expedited home study and then emergency surgery for Matt. We ended our summer by picking up both Alex and Jacob. The months that followed were some of the toughest that I've ever experienced. Going from one to three kids brought a lot of issues that we were not necessarily prepared for.
Despite the struggles we endured, we really saw the kindness of others come through. Friends and family stepped up in ways that I could never have imagined. It reminded me how strong of a community I am part of.
I think about how much things have changed at our house. Everything is "more." More laundry. More mess. More dishes. More tears. More frustration. But, also more laughter. More playing. More fun. More love.
At times, I still cannot grasp how much God has given us this past year. While many of my friends are hoping for excitement in 2015, I'm praying that it is nowhere near as exciting as 2014 for our family. Could you imagine another year like this one??
I wish you and yours a very happy new year. May you be blessed richly in 2015!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Saturday, December 13, 2014
A great read!
I think many of you are friends with me on Facebook, so chances are good that you already saw this after I posted it last night. It is just so good, that I wanted to share on here as well.
If you have wondered what it is like to be an adoptive parent in a delivery room, this (in my opinion) offers a great description. It took me back to the day CJ was born and we were with Brooke as she gave birth. I only wish I had a photographer take similar photos. He/She did an incredible job of capturing the variety of emotions that were present. I just love that you can almost feel the love they experienced in that moment.
http://www.therhouse.com/from-love-to-love/
You'll have to copy and paste. For whatever reason, when I link it properly, the link doesn't actually show up.
Enjoy!
If you have wondered what it is like to be an adoptive parent in a delivery room, this (in my opinion) offers a great description. It took me back to the day CJ was born and we were with Brooke as she gave birth. I only wish I had a photographer take similar photos. He/She did an incredible job of capturing the variety of emotions that were present. I just love that you can almost feel the love they experienced in that moment.
http://www.therhouse.com/from-love-to-love/
You'll have to copy and paste. For whatever reason, when I link it properly, the link doesn't actually show up.
Enjoy!
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Mom guilt...multiplied
In the past few weeks, CJ has been acting out...a lot. He has been disrespectful, defiant and downright mean. He has refused to follow directions, he picks on Alex and he has gotten into trouble at school. It's embarrassing and frustrating. We have tried so many different techniques for redirection and discipline, but nothing has worked.
I realize that this is most likely due to the changes our family has gone through over the past four months. Everyone responds in their own time and in their own way. We were told that transition issues tend to show up about three months after placement (which is exactly when CJ started having trouble). I believe he is acting out in order to get attention from us. Our attention has been divided by three, and he is looking for any way possible to get us to focus on him, even if it means that he is getting in trouble.
This breaks my heart.
My once sweet little boy has become very angry.
I knew that the addition of two boys would bring some difficult times, I just didn't realize how hard it would be on CJ. It's easy to read articles and think through how it will go, but to actually live it is complete different. I don't think I could have prepared myself for what we've experienced.
Do you know how hard it is watching your son act out in response to choices you made? Can you imagine the amount of guilt I feel because this is "my fault?" I feel terrible that we didn't do more to prepare for CJ's reaction to all of this. I hate that he is getting in trouble and I am afraid that he'll develop a reputation.
Right now, I am desperate to find something that works. I want to fix it...now. I know that time is going to be the best solution in this case, although we will continue with our methods and discipline techniques. Right now, I am just grateful that he has teachers that love him and are patiently guiding him through this confusing time.
I'd appreciate your prayers, both for CJ and all those working with him.
I realize that this is most likely due to the changes our family has gone through over the past four months. Everyone responds in their own time and in their own way. We were told that transition issues tend to show up about three months after placement (which is exactly when CJ started having trouble). I believe he is acting out in order to get attention from us. Our attention has been divided by three, and he is looking for any way possible to get us to focus on him, even if it means that he is getting in trouble.
This breaks my heart.
My once sweet little boy has become very angry.
I knew that the addition of two boys would bring some difficult times, I just didn't realize how hard it would be on CJ. It's easy to read articles and think through how it will go, but to actually live it is complete different. I don't think I could have prepared myself for what we've experienced.
Do you know how hard it is watching your son act out in response to choices you made? Can you imagine the amount of guilt I feel because this is "my fault?" I feel terrible that we didn't do more to prepare for CJ's reaction to all of this. I hate that he is getting in trouble and I am afraid that he'll develop a reputation.
Right now, I am desperate to find something that works. I want to fix it...now. I know that time is going to be the best solution in this case, although we will continue with our methods and discipline techniques. Right now, I am just grateful that he has teachers that love him and are patiently guiding him through this confusing time.
I'd appreciate your prayers, both for CJ and all those working with him.
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