We met with Sharon on Monday to discuss the results of our personality tests. Matt and I each rated ourselves, and then rated the other. The whole experience was designed to help us understand how our personalities will work together once we have children, and how they will affect our parenting styles. I think going into the appointment, we were nervous to see how things matched up. We feel like we know each other pretty well, and we have no problem talking with each other, but now we were being evaluated by a counselor!
I think the results were pretty accurate with how we would normally describe ourselves. It was interesting to see the graph that was formed by the results. Certain characteristics matched up almost perfectly, while others were quite different. It showed that, in a lot of ways, we complement each other very well. There was definitely a running theme throughout the appointment…our type-A personalities. Most sections of the assessment were affected by how we like to plan and account for every detail possible.
The best part of this whole process is what we have learned about ourselves, both individually and as a couple. I think the biggest life lesson has been to give up trying to plan and trust that God has a plan set for us. So often, I look at a situation and automatically try to figure out how I can fix things. I need to get better at asking God for guidance before I start creating a solution. I’m sure many of you have heard the saying “If you want to make God laugh, show Him your plans.”
We have two more appointments set with Sharon. One is my one-on-one interview at her office. The second is a meeting at our house, where we’ll meet with her as a couple and Matt will meet with her individually. At that point, our home study will be complete and Sharon will present us to the other counselors at CFCA. In the next two weeks, we’ll begin working on our match letter, which is presented to birth mothers at the agency. Being that neither of us is super-creative, we’re a little nervous about this. I’ll try to post it on the blog once it is complete.
As always, please pray for us as we go through this process. We would also ask that you continue to pray for our birth family, whoever they may be.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Family & Tradition
We had our first home study visit yesterday, which ironically was at the agency and not at our house. Actually, our next home study visit is also at their office. The last two meetings will be at our house, and then we'll be ready for certification. The counselors present their adoptive families to the rest of the agency staff at their monthly meeting, to determine if they are ready to be certified and placed on the match list. Sharon hopes that we are ready to be presented to the agency in May.
During this first meeting, we talked about our families - the relationships we have, memories from our childhood, stories that we've heard passed down, and family traditions. It was fun to hear each other's memories, even if we've heard them before. Things like:
-Grandma Fischer sneaking cookies to Matt and his brothers
-Visiting Grandpa & Grandma Fincke at the beach
-Fishing in Washington with Grandpa Schroeder
-Playing in the basement at Grandpa & Grandma Caskey's house
As we talked with Sharon, we realized that our two families are very similar. We have always commented that our immediate families have very similar characteristics, but we hadn't looked at our extended family as much. Toward the end of our meeting, we realized that even our extended families match up pretty well. That is probably why we are so comfortable with each other's family.
We talked about different traditions that our families have, and what traditions we would like to continue with our children. It was exciting to think about the different stages in their life, and including them in traditions (some that date back a few generations). As I thought more about the idea of tradition, I realized that it will be very helpful in assuring our child that he/she is truly part of our family. It will also be important to learn about traditions of the birth family, so that our son/daughter maintains a connection with them. Sometimes I forget that our family is not going to simply grow by one person, that we are essentially adopting the birth family as well.
Our next home study visit will reveal the results of the temperament test that we took. I'm really interested to see how we scored. We actually took the test twice; once to rate ourselves, and once to rate each other. It will be fun to see how well we know each other. I'll let you know how it goes!
During this first meeting, we talked about our families - the relationships we have, memories from our childhood, stories that we've heard passed down, and family traditions. It was fun to hear each other's memories, even if we've heard them before. Things like:
-Grandma Fischer sneaking cookies to Matt and his brothers
-Visiting Grandpa & Grandma Fincke at the beach
-Fishing in Washington with Grandpa Schroeder
-Playing in the basement at Grandpa & Grandma Caskey's house
As we talked with Sharon, we realized that our two families are very similar. We have always commented that our immediate families have very similar characteristics, but we hadn't looked at our extended family as much. Toward the end of our meeting, we realized that even our extended families match up pretty well. That is probably why we are so comfortable with each other's family.
We talked about different traditions that our families have, and what traditions we would like to continue with our children. It was exciting to think about the different stages in their life, and including them in traditions (some that date back a few generations). As I thought more about the idea of tradition, I realized that it will be very helpful in assuring our child that he/she is truly part of our family. It will also be important to learn about traditions of the birth family, so that our son/daughter maintains a connection with them. Sometimes I forget that our family is not going to simply grow by one person, that we are essentially adopting the birth family as well.
Our next home study visit will reveal the results of the temperament test that we took. I'm really interested to see how we scored. We actually took the test twice; once to rate ourselves, and once to rate each other. It will be fun to see how well we know each other. I'll let you know how it goes!
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