Time to exhale!

What do you mean there's nothing left to do? I've been working on this since December 2009...and it's over. The best way that I can explain my feelings about finalizing CJ's adoption would be to compare it to planning a wedding. You have this build up for many months, during which time there is always something else that you have to be thinking about. Then, the day finally arrives. You go through the hearing (or ceremony, to keep my analogy going), and then you celebrate. Once the celebration ends, everyone goes their separate ways, and it's business as usual. Weird! Trust me, I am in no way complaining that CJ's adoption has been finalized. I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am to tell people that we are done, and that the state now recognizes us as his parents. It just feels very bizarre that we don't have anything else that we need to do.

Yesterday was amazing! I can hardly describe the number of emotions that I experienced within a very short period of time. I'll try to go through the details, since I don't want to forget anything!

Throughout this week, I had been getting progressively more nervous and anxious about our hearing. I don't know why. To keep with the wedding analogy, it's similar to the excitement and nerves that a bride or groom would experience the morning of their wedding. Yesterday morning, I didn't know what to do with myself. The hearing was scheduled for 10am, which was a perfect time. Late enough that we didn't have to rush, but early enough that I didn't have a long time to feel anxious before we went into the courtroom. We were lucky enough to have a few friends and family with us - Tim & Lisa Bristol (CJ's godparents), Matt's parents and Ashley Steele (best friend...practically a sister).

After arriving about 15 minutes early, we went through security. I think I was so focused on the adoption side of things, that I forgot the courthouse also deals with juvenile offenders. It seemed very weird to walk through a metal detector and have my bag checked. Even more interesting, they made people take off their belts. I still don't completely understand that one. Once it was determined that we were not carrying any drugs or weapons, we made our way over to the front desk to get checked in. I was actually surprised how many people were waiting for their turn in the courtroom. It was fun to see the families who were clearly there for a finalization. Everyone was dressed up and excited. Three families were scheduled in each time slot, so at times it was pretty full. We received our courtroom number (#9, in case you were curious) and headed over to wait our turn.

Two people from the County Attorney's Office met with us to explain what they were going to ask, and what to expect. That helped quite a bit. Even though I knew the basic questions, I appreciated going through each of them. As we were talking, I got a call from Sharon. She was at the wrong courthouse! Uh oh! She was on her way and was expecting to arrive within 15 minutes. We asked the attorney what would happen if she wasn't there, and we learned that it wouldn't make a difference. Luckily, with two other families scheduled for 10am, we bought ourselves a little time by going last. Right after the first family came out, Sharon arrived. We got settled, and watched as family number two went in.

By this point, my nerves were going crazy. I finally sat down. If I stood up, I would either rock or pace, which both made me look a little crazy. Finally, it was our turn! We walked into the room and were directed to sit at the front, with our friends and family sitting behind. After we sworn in (not sure if that is the right terminology, but we had to raise our right hand...so it sounds good to me), we went through the series of questions. "Please say and spell your name." Actually, the "spell your name" came after Matt gave his middle name. I'll probably misspell it, but you should know that it is Hawaiian and about 12 letters long. If you see him, ask him to show you his driver's license...pretty entertaining. "Please state your address." "Do you intend to adopt Caleb Josiah, born 1/11/11 in Tucson?" "Are you biologically related to him?" After a few more questions, it was Sharon's turn. She was asked her opinion on our ability to parent. Naturally, we're amazing, so we weren't worried about that one. Then, it was the judges turn. After what felt like an eternity, we heard the magic words. We were legally Caleb's parents! As the judge finished his sentence, CJ let out this squeal/giggle. Talk about perfect timing. It sounded like he was rejoicing as much as we were. We were given the opportunity to take pictures with the judge, and then we headed out to celebrate.





This day was a long time in the making, and we couldn't have made it throughout without the love and support of a lot of people. We are very blessed with those God has placed in our lives. While the process was long and frustrating at times, and we often questioned God's plan for us, it is very clear that he had a very specific plan in place. We could not asked for a more amazing child. God knew what he was doing when he led Brooke to us through Christian Family Care. I cannot imagine our lives without this little man, and I am so excited to see where God takes us in the future!

Why don't they come with manuals?

For the first 6 or 7 months of CJ's life, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of things. Yes, I had moments of worry and confusion, but nothing too serious. Things are relatively simple when the child's schedule consists of eating formula, sleeping, and playing (and more than a few diaper changes). Then, we hit the solid food stage (cue dramatic music).

My first struggle was in deciding whether I should make or purchase CJ's food. After a little pep talk from my sister Emily, I realized that it probably was not going to be that hard to make his food. In the end, the hippie in me won...or was it the cheapo? I am not a whiz in the kitchen, but how hard could it be to steam veggies and fruits and then puree them? At first, it was that easy. Matt and I picked out the fruits and veggies that we wanted to try early on, and then I started making baby food. While not every batch was perfect, CJ is not a picky eater so it worked out. I actually enjoyed the process. I felt very accomplished each time he ate one of my concoctions. In terms of the time commitment, I was pleasantly surprised. I estimate that it takes about an hour each weekend to prep everything. Last weekend, I made a ridiculous amount of food so that I wouldn't have to make it again for 3-4 weeks. That took about 3 total hours, but well worth it!

Finding out which foods to serve at each age is the easy part. What no one helps with is how much to feed them and how/when to add meals to the schedule. At around 7 months, we knew that we would need to add a third meal to his schedule. I continually found websites and books that told me to follow my baby's lead. Does anyone else have an issue with this? I have some ideas of when he's hungry or if he doesn't want to eat anymore, but he rarely turns food away. I knew that I would need to make adjustments based on his needs, but I really only wanted a baseline to follow.

The idea of adding a third meal sounds like it would be easy, but it meant changing around the rest of the day. I probably made it harder than it needed to be, but that's just my style. The difficulty for us is that a change in schedule does not only affect us, but it affects Denise (his daycare provider). While we aren't complete sticklers on his feeding and napping schedule, we have to have a basic outline for the day. I debated on what time he should eat...how much he should eat...if he should take a bottle first in the morning or go straight to solids. It's enough to make you go insane. After a lot of searching, I finally found a few websites that listed examples of a feeding schedule for an 8-month old. An overwhelming sense of relief came over me as I read each one and then created something that I thought would work for CJ.

I am happy to say that we added a third meal to the schedule last weekend, changed his last feeding to around 2 hours earlier, and he still managed to sleep through the night. Yeah! I think he likes the new schedule, especially because he now gets little snacks occasionally. We enjoy the new schedule because it allows us to go to bed earlier. :)