After having a visit on Saturday, I really wasn't worried about this morning's visit. I assumed it would be a little difference since today's visit was with Clark County DCFS. It was actually a lot easier. The worker that came by (Desi) has worked with us before. She knows our case and is great to work with.
She came over and we just chatted for awhile. She asked a lot of the same questions that were asked on Saturday, although she was mainly interested in information about Alex. She asked a few questions about Jake, but not many. I was a little surprised that she didn't need to walk around the house at all, but she said that doesn't need to happen at every visit.
The best news came at the end. I asked her about finding an approved babysitter so that Matt and I can get a night out. She told me that we only need an approved babysitter if we are gone for more than four hours at a time. Since that probably won't happen, we are free to have a date night! Yay!! The last time we went out without a child was in July. Now the question is...what to do on our night out?
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Post-Placement Visit #1 (Jake)
Yesterday, we had our first post-placement visit for Jake's adoption. While I wasn't nervous, I was definitely curious what it would entail. It's been three years since we did this for CJ's adoption. This is the first of six visits before we're able to finalize his adoption.
Basically, we just sat down with our social worker and talked about how things are going. She wanted to know how each of us was adjusting to the changes in our family. We talked about both Jake and Alex (even though this visit was specific to Jake). Everything from sleep to diet to attachment was discussed. I felt pretty confident as I answered her questions, although I felt a little guilt when I had to admit that I haven't bonded with Alex as much as I would like. The social worker was very encouraging that I just need to give it time.
She even spent a few minutes talking to CJ about his thoughts and feelings. It was kind of fun hearing him answer her questions. You never know what kids are going to say! Earlier in the conversation, I had shared that Alex took a liking to a little couch we have in the living room. For awhile, that little couch was creating BIG problems between our boys. She asked CJ about the couch; here is the conversation that followed:
CJ - "Sometimes I sit in the middle of the couch so Alex can't sit down. He gets mad at me."
Christina - "Oh, what happens next?"
CJ - "I hit him."
You can't be mad at his honesty.
Tomorrow morning, we meet with our worker for Alex's adoption for the first time. I'm guessing the questions will be about the same, although I think she will probably check out the house a little to be sure that we're following the standards for a foster home. I'll let you know how it goes!
Basically, we just sat down with our social worker and talked about how things are going. She wanted to know how each of us was adjusting to the changes in our family. We talked about both Jake and Alex (even though this visit was specific to Jake). Everything from sleep to diet to attachment was discussed. I felt pretty confident as I answered her questions, although I felt a little guilt when I had to admit that I haven't bonded with Alex as much as I would like. The social worker was very encouraging that I just need to give it time.
She even spent a few minutes talking to CJ about his thoughts and feelings. It was kind of fun hearing him answer her questions. You never know what kids are going to say! Earlier in the conversation, I had shared that Alex took a liking to a little couch we have in the living room. For awhile, that little couch was creating BIG problems between our boys. She asked CJ about the couch; here is the conversation that followed:
CJ - "Sometimes I sit in the middle of the couch so Alex can't sit down. He gets mad at me."
Christina - "Oh, what happens next?"
CJ - "I hit him."
You can't be mad at his honesty.
Tomorrow morning, we meet with our worker for Alex's adoption for the first time. I'm guessing the questions will be about the same, although I think she will probably check out the house a little to be sure that we're following the standards for a foster home. I'll let you know how it goes!
Friday, September 26, 2014
Love and Logic
To say that things have been out of control in our house may be putting it mildly. The two older boys are acting out (which is to be expected) and the baby seems to have a touch of colic. Awesome, right? Usually, we can make it until around 4pm, but that is our "witching hour." The time when all hell breaks loose and the kids (and I) lose our minds. As I've shared in past posts, I've allowed myself to get angry and raise my voice more often than I'd like to admit. Last weekend, I had had enough. I knew it was time for a new strategy.
At MOPS two years ago, we had a speaker come to teach us about Love and Logic. This parenting style was very different from what came naturally to me, and I kind of wrote it off at the time. Now that I am outnumbered, I'm willing to try anything.
As you probably know, we are foster parents to Alex until his adoption is finalized. Being accountable to state laws limits the methods of discipline that we are able to use. That is not to say that we went crazy with spanking when disciplining CJ, but it was something that we've used in the past. In recent months, we noticed that spanking just doesn't work. We had to try something new.
I went to the library and got Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay & Charles Fay. I am hesitant to try to explain the concepts, for fear of interpreting it incorrectly. Here are a few things I've taken from the book:
*Children are given choices as much as possible so that when you need to make the decision, they are more responsive. Choices don't need to be life-altering, but you do need to be comfortable with either choice they make. Do you want PB & J or a quesadilla for lunch? Would you like to take your nap in 5 minutes or 10 minutes? Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?
*Consequences are delivered immediately and with empathy. If one of the boys throws a toy, I would say "That is really sad that you aren't going to be able to play with that toy anymore." I then take the toy away and they do not get it back until the next day. For some of the more serious offenses, the consequence is a timeout in their room. I tell them a rule one time, after that, any bad choices are met with a consequence.
*Anger is removed from interactions because it does no good, and actually shows the kids that you have lost control. This is probably the toughest one of all. It is so easy to let the kids get to you when they are screaming in your face or purposely making bad choices. If needed, I take a few seconds before I say or do anything.
We're four days in to this new parenting style, but already I like it. The boys are doing a little better, but the biggest change I've seen is with myself. On Monday, Matt got home from work and I was not in a good place. I hate having him come home to a tense situation. He's had a long day, and definitely doesn't want to walk into a firestorm. Tuesday, he got home and even though the boys had been a little crazy, I was relaxed and happy. I even felt a little empowered after giving out consequences without getting upset.
Obviously, this may not work for everyone. The book even tells you to not attempt to institute all of the concepts at one time. If you can find one thing that works for you, then I'd consider that a win. Happy parenting!
At MOPS two years ago, we had a speaker come to teach us about Love and Logic. This parenting style was very different from what came naturally to me, and I kind of wrote it off at the time. Now that I am outnumbered, I'm willing to try anything.
As you probably know, we are foster parents to Alex until his adoption is finalized. Being accountable to state laws limits the methods of discipline that we are able to use. That is not to say that we went crazy with spanking when disciplining CJ, but it was something that we've used in the past. In recent months, we noticed that spanking just doesn't work. We had to try something new.
I went to the library and got Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay & Charles Fay. I am hesitant to try to explain the concepts, for fear of interpreting it incorrectly. Here are a few things I've taken from the book:
*Children are given choices as much as possible so that when you need to make the decision, they are more responsive. Choices don't need to be life-altering, but you do need to be comfortable with either choice they make. Do you want PB & J or a quesadilla for lunch? Would you like to take your nap in 5 minutes or 10 minutes? Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?
*Consequences are delivered immediately and with empathy. If one of the boys throws a toy, I would say "That is really sad that you aren't going to be able to play with that toy anymore." I then take the toy away and they do not get it back until the next day. For some of the more serious offenses, the consequence is a timeout in their room. I tell them a rule one time, after that, any bad choices are met with a consequence.
*Anger is removed from interactions because it does no good, and actually shows the kids that you have lost control. This is probably the toughest one of all. It is so easy to let the kids get to you when they are screaming in your face or purposely making bad choices. If needed, I take a few seconds before I say or do anything.
We're four days in to this new parenting style, but already I like it. The boys are doing a little better, but the biggest change I've seen is with myself. On Monday, Matt got home from work and I was not in a good place. I hate having him come home to a tense situation. He's had a long day, and definitely doesn't want to walk into a firestorm. Tuesday, he got home and even though the boys had been a little crazy, I was relaxed and happy. I even felt a little empowered after giving out consequences without getting upset.
Obviously, this may not work for everyone. The book even tells you to not attempt to institute all of the concepts at one time. If you can find one thing that works for you, then I'd consider that a win. Happy parenting!
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Post-Placement Visits
Things are moving forward! Today, I received e-mails from our caseworkers for both boys, asking to schedule our first post-placement visits. Yes, we have to have separate visits for Alex and Jake. While they are separate processes, they should look about the same. We'll have a visit every 30 days for each child. During that time, the worker will talk with us about how things are going and observe us with the kids. With Alex's visits, we will also be checked to make sure that our house still meets the requirements to be licensed as a foster home.
Thankfully, I am in no way nervous for these visits. Who has time to be nervous when you're running after three kids each day? I know that we're doing things right, so I don't see any reason to worry. It definitely helps that we've been through this before with CJ's adoption.
Once we've had enough visits, we will be recommended for adoption of both boys. I am not sure how many visits are necessary, but I am hoping it isn't too many. From there, paperwork will be filed with Arizona and Nevada and we'll wait to be approved. I believe that we'll be able to finalize Jake's adoption here in Nevada, but I'm not sure about Alex's. There is a chance we'll have to head back to Tucson for a final court hearing.
In related news, I also received a packet of paperwork for Alex's adoption. More paperwork...awesome. I really should add up the number of pages we have completed since first adopting CJ. I'm sure several forests were harmed in the growing of our family. Tomorrow's nap time will be spent digging through these documents and forms so that we can get them back in the mail as soon as possible.
While this process has been tough, and often confusing, we have been blessed with caseworkers who are knowledgeable, patient and supportive. With their help, we will make it through and add two more Fischers to the world in no time.
Thankfully, I am in no way nervous for these visits. Who has time to be nervous when you're running after three kids each day? I know that we're doing things right, so I don't see any reason to worry. It definitely helps that we've been through this before with CJ's adoption.
Once we've had enough visits, we will be recommended for adoption of both boys. I am not sure how many visits are necessary, but I am hoping it isn't too many. From there, paperwork will be filed with Arizona and Nevada and we'll wait to be approved. I believe that we'll be able to finalize Jake's adoption here in Nevada, but I'm not sure about Alex's. There is a chance we'll have to head back to Tucson for a final court hearing.
In related news, I also received a packet of paperwork for Alex's adoption. More paperwork...awesome. I really should add up the number of pages we have completed since first adopting CJ. I'm sure several forests were harmed in the growing of our family. Tomorrow's nap time will be spent digging through these documents and forms so that we can get them back in the mail as soon as possible.
While this process has been tough, and often confusing, we have been blessed with caseworkers who are knowledgeable, patient and supportive. With their help, we will make it through and add two more Fischers to the world in no time.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Alex's Home
Yesterday afternoon, CJ asked me when Alex was going back to his home. It was a sincere question; not a hint of malice or ill will. I'll be honest, it caught me off-guard a bit. Up until today, CJ had not really acknowledged that Alex had previously lived somewhere else. He knew that Alex had lived in a different house because we had visited his previous foster family a few times. Actually, I found it a bit surprising that it took seven weeks for him to realize that this was not a temporary situation.
I answered that this was Alex's home now because we are adopting him, so he wasn't going back to the house he lived in before. He was now a part of our family. While this seemed to be an acceptable answer, CJ didn't quite understand why Alex would start in one house and move to another. How do you explain foster care to a 3-year old? I simply told him that the other family needed to take care of Alex until we were ready to bring him to our house; adding that it was very special that Alex got to live with us since he is CJ's brother. After a few more follow up questions, I think CJ was happy with the answers that I had provided.
I don't know how much he got from the conversation, but I hope he always feels comfortable asking questions like that. We knew, going into adoption, that there would be questions that were hard to answer. Maybe this was an easy introduction to what we'll get down the road.
I answered that this was Alex's home now because we are adopting him, so he wasn't going back to the house he lived in before. He was now a part of our family. While this seemed to be an acceptable answer, CJ didn't quite understand why Alex would start in one house and move to another. How do you explain foster care to a 3-year old? I simply told him that the other family needed to take care of Alex until we were ready to bring him to our house; adding that it was very special that Alex got to live with us since he is CJ's brother. After a few more follow up questions, I think CJ was happy with the answers that I had provided.
I don't know how much he got from the conversation, but I hope he always feels comfortable asking questions like that. We knew, going into adoption, that there would be questions that were hard to answer. Maybe this was an easy introduction to what we'll get down the road.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Being Me, Bravely
This is theme for MOPS this year. Be You, Bravely.
I had thought a little bit about what that meant, both for me and the 75 other moms that are part of my group. It wasn't until the past few days that I really thought about how this could be applied. The one thing I keep coming back to is the idea of being brave enough to be real about your life.
One thing I've said about a lot of my friends here is that they are very real. There is no sugar-coating anything. They'll be the first to admit that they haven't showered in three days. Or that they yelled at their kids that morning. Or that they are having issues with their husband. I appreciate this. My life is FAR from perfect, and it's refreshing when people are willing to admit the same. It gives us a common denominator and a support system.
Lately, we've received some very nice compliments about how well we've adjusted to our growing family. At first, I was very proud. I needed to hear that we were doing something right. However, if I'm being real, I need to acknowledge that these compliments are based on very brief moments of interaction - church, playdates, etc. If only those same people could see me at home, the remaining 97% of my day. Actually, I'm kind of glad they can't see me. I almost feel like I need to come clean about who I am. I need to be me, bravely. It is easy to admit the good things I am doing, but admitting the negatives is tough! This is not to say that I am defined by the list that follows. It is simply who I am at this stage in life, when others are not watching.
*I take out my frustration on my poor husband on a regular basis.
*I raise my voice at my kids more than I'd like to admit.
*I am struggling to like my children. I love them, but when meltdowns are happening on a constant basis, liking them is tough.
*I am only just figuring out how to be a parent to Alex.
*I've cried more in the past 5 weeks than I have in the past year.
*I've frequently questioned God's plan for our family.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I actually feel a lot better. I'm not embarrassed by how things are going for us right now. Well, maybe I'm a little embarrassed, but not enough to try to hide things. The only way that I'm going to move past some of my issues is to put them out there.
While my ugly side has come out lately because of the stress and anxiety, there are also some positives coming from this chaos.
*I've been willing to ask for, and accept, help. Let's face it, there is no way I could be doing this on my own!
*I've prayed more than I ever have before. I am literally talking to God all day long.
*I am learning to let go of things. My house is rarely clean. Sometimes I don't take a shower. I let my kids get super dirty because it's one of the few times that they are quiet and play well together. You know what...it's ok!
I hope that others out there feel comfortable being themselves, bravely. None of us is perfect, no matter how things may appear. There is no shame in admitting our faults, and then finding ways to move beyond them. There is also no shame in acknowledging what we are doing well.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:14
I had thought a little bit about what that meant, both for me and the 75 other moms that are part of my group. It wasn't until the past few days that I really thought about how this could be applied. The one thing I keep coming back to is the idea of being brave enough to be real about your life.
One thing I've said about a lot of my friends here is that they are very real. There is no sugar-coating anything. They'll be the first to admit that they haven't showered in three days. Or that they yelled at their kids that morning. Or that they are having issues with their husband. I appreciate this. My life is FAR from perfect, and it's refreshing when people are willing to admit the same. It gives us a common denominator and a support system.
Lately, we've received some very nice compliments about how well we've adjusted to our growing family. At first, I was very proud. I needed to hear that we were doing something right. However, if I'm being real, I need to acknowledge that these compliments are based on very brief moments of interaction - church, playdates, etc. If only those same people could see me at home, the remaining 97% of my day. Actually, I'm kind of glad they can't see me. I almost feel like I need to come clean about who I am. I need to be me, bravely. It is easy to admit the good things I am doing, but admitting the negatives is tough! This is not to say that I am defined by the list that follows. It is simply who I am at this stage in life, when others are not watching.
*I take out my frustration on my poor husband on a regular basis.
*I raise my voice at my kids more than I'd like to admit.
*I am struggling to like my children. I love them, but when meltdowns are happening on a constant basis, liking them is tough.
*I am only just figuring out how to be a parent to Alex.
*I've cried more in the past 5 weeks than I have in the past year.
*I've frequently questioned God's plan for our family.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I actually feel a lot better. I'm not embarrassed by how things are going for us right now. Well, maybe I'm a little embarrassed, but not enough to try to hide things. The only way that I'm going to move past some of my issues is to put them out there.
While my ugly side has come out lately because of the stress and anxiety, there are also some positives coming from this chaos.
*I've been willing to ask for, and accept, help. Let's face it, there is no way I could be doing this on my own!
*I've prayed more than I ever have before. I am literally talking to God all day long.
*I am learning to let go of things. My house is rarely clean. Sometimes I don't take a shower. I let my kids get super dirty because it's one of the few times that they are quiet and play well together. You know what...it's ok!
I hope that others out there feel comfortable being themselves, bravely. None of us is perfect, no matter how things may appear. There is no shame in admitting our faults, and then finding ways to move beyond them. There is also no shame in acknowledging what we are doing well.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:14
Monday, September 15, 2014
Regression
When we agreed to welcome Alex into our family, we knew that there would be challenges. It was obvious that removing an 18-month old from an environment he is used to, and completely turning his world upside down, would be very hard on him. We did our best to mentally prepare for handling those situations.
What I was not prepared for was regression five weeks into it. Since picking him up and bringing him home, we've had some intense ups and downs. Up until this past weekend, I thought we had been making some serious progress. And then the weekend happened.
Saturday night was one of the hardest I've had in a long time. Screaming for no reason, throwing anything he could get his hands on, and trying to bite me - just a few of the wonderful moments we experienced. Frustration got the best of me and I went to bed ANGRY. Angry that it appeared we had made no progress. Angry that no methods were helping. Ultimately, angry that I had no control over this.
I had never considered the possibility that he was going to take a few steps forward and a lot of steps back. I just assumed we would jump back at the beginning and move forward from there. I also didn't realize that his regression would make me feel like a failure. I should be able to handle this...why is it so hard?
As I went to bed that night, my sweet husband offered to pray with, and for, me. We said "Amen" and then "goodnight" and I lay there going over the day's events. I wished someone had told me that it could get worse before it gets better. I was disappointed that I hadn't done more homework on how this could play out.
When I finished beating myself up, I realized that no amount of preparation can really prepare you for what will happen. Every child is different and every child has their own way of handling stress. My son's method, unfortunately, is a little more aggressive than I was prepared for. Instead of being hard on myself and wallowing in my own self-pity, I decided to try a few things each day:
1. I will pray for my children. I do pray for them, but not as much as I need to right now. Our family is going through some stuff, and only God is able to take care of us at this point. I'm going to pray that Alex can find his place in our family and that we can learn how to help him manage this transition. I will pray that CJ remains calm and doesn't get frustrated by the chaos in our home. I pray that Jacob will grow into a boy who loves Jesus.
2. I will start each days as a blank slate. What happened yesterday does not matter. If God forgets my sins, I can forget the bad choices my kids made the day before. It does me no good to dwell on the past.
3. I will remain calm. This is, by far, the hardest one. When a child screams at me for 30 minutes at a time, the last thing I want to do is remain calm. But I have to ask myself, "what good will it do for me to get upset?" The answer...not a bit of good.
4. I will focus on the positive things that are happening in our family. For every hard moment, there are several great ones. When I think about those things, the rest of it doesn't seem so bad.
Your prayers are appreciated as we keep moving forward in this process. I am hopeful that we will soon see progress again. As I go through all of this, it only further cements my desire to write a book and share our experiences with adoption and foster care. If only I had time to really sit down and write...
What I was not prepared for was regression five weeks into it. Since picking him up and bringing him home, we've had some intense ups and downs. Up until this past weekend, I thought we had been making some serious progress. And then the weekend happened.
Saturday night was one of the hardest I've had in a long time. Screaming for no reason, throwing anything he could get his hands on, and trying to bite me - just a few of the wonderful moments we experienced. Frustration got the best of me and I went to bed ANGRY. Angry that it appeared we had made no progress. Angry that no methods were helping. Ultimately, angry that I had no control over this.
I had never considered the possibility that he was going to take a few steps forward and a lot of steps back. I just assumed we would jump back at the beginning and move forward from there. I also didn't realize that his regression would make me feel like a failure. I should be able to handle this...why is it so hard?
As I went to bed that night, my sweet husband offered to pray with, and for, me. We said "Amen" and then "goodnight" and I lay there going over the day's events. I wished someone had told me that it could get worse before it gets better. I was disappointed that I hadn't done more homework on how this could play out.
When I finished beating myself up, I realized that no amount of preparation can really prepare you for what will happen. Every child is different and every child has their own way of handling stress. My son's method, unfortunately, is a little more aggressive than I was prepared for. Instead of being hard on myself and wallowing in my own self-pity, I decided to try a few things each day:
1. I will pray for my children. I do pray for them, but not as much as I need to right now. Our family is going through some stuff, and only God is able to take care of us at this point. I'm going to pray that Alex can find his place in our family and that we can learn how to help him manage this transition. I will pray that CJ remains calm and doesn't get frustrated by the chaos in our home. I pray that Jacob will grow into a boy who loves Jesus.
2. I will start each days as a blank slate. What happened yesterday does not matter. If God forgets my sins, I can forget the bad choices my kids made the day before. It does me no good to dwell on the past.
3. I will remain calm. This is, by far, the hardest one. When a child screams at me for 30 minutes at a time, the last thing I want to do is remain calm. But I have to ask myself, "what good will it do for me to get upset?" The answer...not a bit of good.
4. I will focus on the positive things that are happening in our family. For every hard moment, there are several great ones. When I think about those things, the rest of it doesn't seem so bad.
Your prayers are appreciated as we keep moving forward in this process. I am hopeful that we will soon see progress again. As I go through all of this, it only further cements my desire to write a book and share our experiences with adoption and foster care. If only I had time to really sit down and write...
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Little Eyes
Lately, CJ has really taken to "parenting" his Mickey Mouse doll. This doll has been very special for a long time now, but he's never taken care of it. It is so awesome to watch, especially when he tries to mimic what I'm doing for Jake. He calms Mickey using the same sayings that I use. He asked me for a bottle yesterday so that he could feed him. In the middle of each feeding, he stops to burp him. Usually, he'll put Mickey into the baby swing after a feeding so he can sleep. Today, he put Mickey in a hat and held it up to his belly to create a carrier. While all of this is adorable, my favorite is when he gets mad at us for waking Mickey up. Umm, I'm pretty sure that is the pot calling the kettle black, but I digress.
As I watched him this afternoon, it hit me just how much he watches me. He is so careful to care for Mickey exactly just as I care for Jake. After feeling all warm and tingly about it, I got a little terrified. If he's watching this carefully, am I showing him the best example of parenting? A lot of the time, the answer is a resounding "NO." Wow, what a hit to the gut. I was convicted. In that moment, I realized that little eyes are always watching me. The parent that I am today will most likely be the parent they are down the road. What do I want them to take away from this?
Parenting is already a lot of pressure, but sometimes I only think of that pressure in the here and now. I forget the lasting impact it could have. While that thought should terrify me, it provided me with some good motivation to check myself when I start to feel frustrated. With three children, frustration comes on hard and fast, but my reaction does not need to. I am hoping that I can find a way to cope with their behavior that allows me to show them the love of Christ, no matter how I am feeling on the inside.
As I watched him this afternoon, it hit me just how much he watches me. He is so careful to care for Mickey exactly just as I care for Jake. After feeling all warm and tingly about it, I got a little terrified. If he's watching this carefully, am I showing him the best example of parenting? A lot of the time, the answer is a resounding "NO." Wow, what a hit to the gut. I was convicted. In that moment, I realized that little eyes are always watching me. The parent that I am today will most likely be the parent they are down the road. What do I want them to take away from this?
Parenting is already a lot of pressure, but sometimes I only think of that pressure in the here and now. I forget the lasting impact it could have. While that thought should terrify me, it provided me with some good motivation to check myself when I start to feel frustrated. With three children, frustration comes on hard and fast, but my reaction does not need to. I am hoping that I can find a way to cope with their behavior that allows me to show them the love of Christ, no matter how I am feeling on the inside.
Monday, September 8, 2014
The Power of Words
Over the past four weeks, I have really questioned my parenting ability (along with my sanity). Our family life has been a roller coaster - a few good moments in between a lot of tough ones. It's easy to feel good about yourself when things are going really well, but how do you maintain a level of confidence when you feel like your house is falling apart?
Over the past few weeks, I have found my answer...words of encouragement.
As moms, I think it is vital to hear that we aren't ruining our kids. We need to know that we are doing a good job, no matter how we feel. We need to be told to keep on keepin' on. While it is wonderful to hear that from a spouse, it doesn't always have the same impact. There is something special about hearing it from another mom; someone else who has been in the same trenches and felt as inept, unqualified, etc. as you feel right now.
We, as moms, hold lot of power with our words. We can very quickly cut down, but we can also build up just as fast. I hope that I remember just how helpful it was to hear words of encouragement from my friends as we have adjusted to our family of five. I don't want to forget the moments when a text from a friend helped stopped the tears that were running down my face as all three kids were melting down. I hope that as I talk with moms, I can provide them with the same encouraging words to let them know that they will make it through whatever season they are experiencing.
Over the past few weeks, I have found my answer...words of encouragement.
As moms, I think it is vital to hear that we aren't ruining our kids. We need to know that we are doing a good job, no matter how we feel. We need to be told to keep on keepin' on. While it is wonderful to hear that from a spouse, it doesn't always have the same impact. There is something special about hearing it from another mom; someone else who has been in the same trenches and felt as inept, unqualified, etc. as you feel right now.
We, as moms, hold lot of power with our words. We can very quickly cut down, but we can also build up just as fast. I hope that I remember just how helpful it was to hear words of encouragement from my friends as we have adjusted to our family of five. I don't want to forget the moments when a text from a friend helped stopped the tears that were running down my face as all three kids were melting down. I hope that as I talk with moms, I can provide them with the same encouraging words to let them know that they will make it through whatever season they are experiencing.
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