Frustrating Mommy Moments

Lately, CJ's behavior has had a lot of ups and downs. People were not kidding when they warned us that the Terrible 2s are actually the Terrible 3s. My sweet little boy has turned into a lunatic! Despite the fact that Matt and I have tried be consistent in dealing with things, nothing has helped. My frustration level has been at an all-time high. I have spent more time googling things like "how to stop by 3-year old from hitting" than I'd like to admit.

I understand that he is only 3 years old, and he is a boy. His energy level is indescribable. Literally, I sat here for at least 5 minutes trying to think of way to describe it, and I came up empty. If he would focus that energy into positive things, it would be one thing. Reality is that he started becoming aggressive and slightly nasty at times. I know that some of his behavior is age-appropriate. My fear is that if we don't nip this now, it will grow into something worse.

I started talking to friends, researching online and reading parenting books. In a moment of clarity (a RARE moment in my life), I finally spent some time thinking about what I could be doing differently. I realized a few things:

1. I need to pray about this daily, asking God to focus CJ's energy and control my frustration/anger. I cannot rely on my own devices because clearly they were not working. When I start my day with prayer, I feel like I'm automatically starting off on a positive note with CJ.

2. He absolutely needs time each day to run around or ride his bike. When he doesn't have enough exercise, there is a definite change in his behavior and mood. I've made more of an effort to get him outside and I've noticed a change.

3. When I really looked at things, I recognized that my reaction to his behavior has been due to my fear of judgment from other parents. I was afraid people would think less of me as a mother because my son can be a terror sometimes. I think being a stay-at-home mom makes me more sensitive to this because I feel a greater level of responsibility. If I'm with him the majority of the time, naturally it would be my fault if he acts a little nuts sometimes...right? No, but that is how it feels sometimes!

And finally...

4. I cannot control his behavior all the time, but I can always control how I react to his behavior. I used to get so riled up when he would act out. Ok, I'll be honest, I exploded at times. I mean, seriously, how many times should I have to ask him not to rub peanut butter in his hair?! I started to keep my reactions in check, and sure enough, he started changing too. When I stay calm through my frustration, he follows my lead.

The past three days have been great with him! In addition to those four things, I started using a "Good Choices Chart" to reward him for good behavior. It's nothing more than a basic chart with a picture of Mickey Mouse that he gets to put a sticker on, but he loves it. I am also planning to starting using a few essential oils on him to balance him out a bit. Those efforts, combined with a calmer approach to parenting, will hopefully get us successfully through the Terrible 3s. :)