So much to learn!

It's hard to believe that CJ is almost three weeks old. I have not be great about updating this blog, but I'm hoping to get better about posting new stuff.

I don't even know where to begin other than to say that this new life of ours is amazing. I knew that life would change once CJ arrived, but I don't think I was prepared for how much. Don't get me wrong, I love him in a way that I didn't know was possible, but that definitely doesn't mean that it's always been easy.

When we first brought him home, I really felt as though we were babysitting a friend's baby. It didn't feel real. I didn't feel like a mom...whatever that means. Over the past few weeks, I have slowly started to realize this new role. I don't know that I fully feel like a mom, but I know that I am well on my way. It really put my mind at ease when a friend (with a biological baby) told me that she had experienced the same thing. It takes time. We're building a relationship.

One of my first "mom" experiences came during a dr appt. CJ was crying pretty hard while our pediatrician (who is amazing) was examining him. I can't say that I blame him. The room was cold and he was almost naked...I'd be upset if I had to go through that. Anyway, the doctor had tried a few things to calm him, but it wasn't working. I leaned down, touched his head and started talking to him. Within a few seconds, he had stopped crying. Talk about a rush of emotion; it was awesome. Since we're on the topic, I just have to mention how incredibly blessed we are that he is so healthy. We were not sure if he would have any issues, and are extremely relieved that we are in the clear so far. At each of our appts, our doctor has shared her excitement for his continued good health and development. We pray that he continues to stay healthy and strong.

I've always heard people talk about how amazing babies are, and how you marvel at everything they do. I had experienced that a little with my friends' children, but am at a whole different level now. I could literally watch him for hours. I love how his face crinkles up at random times, and how he goes into a milk coma after feedings, and the noise he makes when his sneeze doesn't come out all the way. Matt and I have talked about how excited we are for the day when he smiles at us because he is happy, and not because he has gas. I cherish each moment I have with him, but look forward to when he is able to interact with us more.

I guess I'll end with what I miss the most...sleep. I am learning how to survive on around 5 decent hours of sleep each night. He typically goes about three hours from the start of one feeding, to the start of the next. Between feeding, burping and changing, it takes about 45 minutes per feeding. That means that I get about 2 hours of sleep at a time. Unfortunately, his sleep has become more restless in the past few days, so he is constantly groaning and making little baby noises (which actually sound more like animal noises). I feel worse for Matt because he has to get up each morning for work, so he really needs a good night's rest. We'll get used to it...soon, I hope. :)

As we adjust to our new role as parents, we look forward to showing CJ off to each of you. You have all played an important role in our lives, and in this process. Now that he is here, I am even more grateful for the support that you have given. We have been truly blessed!