The Adoptive Moms Club

The other day, I heard someone mention how she has "earned her stretch marks and any mom knows what she is talking about." Sadly, I don't know what she is talking about. While I may have some stretch marks in some places, I did not "earn" them in the same way. That isn't the first time I've heard someone say that phrase, or a variation of it. Each time I hear it, it causes me to stop and think.

Before we adopted CJ, I felt like there was this magical club for moms. The longer it took to expand our family, the more frustrated I got by women who were already part of this special group. I even received occasional reminders that I was not part of this club when I heard comments like "you wouldn't understand...," "you don't know love until you've had a child," and my favorite - "you should be grateful you haven't had to deal with..." It was never intentional, but it didn't hurt any less.

Once we adopted CJ, I assumed that I would be a part of this club and life would be different. In some ways, that was true. I was now able to talk to random moms at the park, because we automatically had something in common. In other ways, I was still reminded that my membership in this club was of a different level than biological moms. I don't have crazy pregnancy stories. I couldn't sympathize with the labor and delivery process. I can't talk about how much CJ looks like me or Matt.

Last night, I was reminded that I still have a special membership in the mom's club...as an adoptive mom. One of my dear friends was recently matched with a birthmom and is just days away from her dream coming true. I know the anxiety of waiting, realizing that I had no control of the situation. I understand the joy of receiving "the call." I remember the days leading up to CJ's birth and hoping that we'd make it to the hospital in time to see him arrive. I remember the seemingly opposing feelings of joy and sadness as I held my little man for this first time while watching Brooke cry at her loss.

While I love connecting with other moms, there is a special place in my heart for adoptive moms. I am so blessed to know a lot of women who are also adoptive moms. I so appreciate the bond that I have with each of them. It is comforting to know that other women in my life can really understand the questions, feelings and emotions that I experience when it comes to being an adoptive mom.

I am proud member of this special club...the adoptive moms club