On Tuesday, we had our final meeting for the certification process. Sharon came over to check out our house and interview Matt. Talk about prepping your house for a visitor! The goal was to have a clean, but lived-in, look. I think we succeeded. She just wanted to make sure we aren’t living in sub-standard conditions and that we have space for a baby.
Now that she has our file completed, she will present us to the rest of the staff at Christian Family Care Agency. With each prospective family, the counselors must agree that we are prepared to move forward in the process. That meeting will actually take place today and she’ll call this afternoon to let us know how it went. She assured us that any issues would have been addressed already, so we have nothing to worry about.
Another great accomplishment was finishing our match letter (well, we’re pretty much finished). Our goal was to have a copy ready to show Sharon on Tuesday. It was really helpful to have that set deadline to keep us focused on getting it done. We were really nervous about what she would say. She had a few minor revisions, but seemed to really like it! And I doubted our creativity… Once we have it complete, I’ll try to post it on our blog so you can see it too. Even though it caused us some stress, it is pretty cool to have something that summarizes who we are. It will be neat to share with our son or daughter one day.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Almost there!
One more meeting has been checked off the list – I met with Sharon today for my individual interview. Heading into the meeting, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I figured it was her chance to get to know me better…and I was right. This was her opportunity to learn more about my family, childhood, marriage and dreams for the future. I think I was very open and honest with her, but you still worry about how your comments and responses are being received. It’s not that I worry about Sharon; it is easy to feel that you’ll be judged for what you say anytime you are interviewed. I think what weighs on me the most is that she is going to ask Matt the same questions next week. Will he respond in a similar way? Was I way off base with how I see things? Don’t worry; I’m not losing sleep over this. I know that since I responded honestly, our answers will probably be fairly similar. One thing is for sure, I feel like Matt and I have gotten to know each other at a much different level as we have moved through this process. Between the application, class homework and match letter, we have talked a lot over the past few months. What a great thing to be able to share with our child one day – that the process of adopting him/her drew us closer together.
Next Tuesday, Sharon will come over to our house for the final meeting. After checking out our place, she’ll interview Matt individually. It’s hard to believe that we are getting this close. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when you look at the entire process, but if you take it step by step, it isn’t so bad.
Next Tuesday, Sharon will come over to our house for the final meeting. After checking out our place, she’ll interview Matt individually. It’s hard to believe that we are getting this close. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when you look at the entire process, but if you take it step by step, it isn’t so bad.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Match Letter
As we come to the end of our home study process (final meeting is May 18), we are starting to write our match letter. This is written to birth mothers and provides information about us, our families and our hobbies. In the beginning, I didn't think it would be hard to write. Now that we have really started working on it, I am realizing that it isn't easy to write about yourself...especially when birth mothers will make decisions based on these four pages. Of course we are going to analyze every detail that goes into this letter. In the end, we just have to realize that our birth mother will find us, regardless of what color I chose for the title or which picture I use.
It has been fun to dig through all of our pictures, looking for those "perfect" shots to include. We don't often take the time to look back over the past seven years of marriage and remember all of the great times we've had. Trips we have taken, fun times with friends, and random pictures that don't make a lot of sense. We have truly been blessed with the opportunities that we have had throughout the course of our relationship. Looking back really helped put things into perspective. Do we remember the hard times as we look back? No, only the good came to mind. The same will be true of this process. It is easy to get frustrated by the many steps we have had to take. Once we are placed with a child, I believe that we will only remember the positive details of the experience. God has blessed us so much, and I want to make sure that that always remains the focus!
We would appreciate your prayers on something in particular. Matt's aunt is a midwife, and is working with a young couple considering adoption (baby is due in August). They are in high school, and have a lot of support from their families. We do not know where this will go, but we plan to send our match letter out to them in the coming weeks. If they like what they see, we will fly out to meet them. Obviously, we do not want to get our hopes up, but we are excited at the prospect.
It has been fun to dig through all of our pictures, looking for those "perfect" shots to include. We don't often take the time to look back over the past seven years of marriage and remember all of the great times we've had. Trips we have taken, fun times with friends, and random pictures that don't make a lot of sense. We have truly been blessed with the opportunities that we have had throughout the course of our relationship. Looking back really helped put things into perspective. Do we remember the hard times as we look back? No, only the good came to mind. The same will be true of this process. It is easy to get frustrated by the many steps we have had to take. Once we are placed with a child, I believe that we will only remember the positive details of the experience. God has blessed us so much, and I want to make sure that that always remains the focus!
We would appreciate your prayers on something in particular. Matt's aunt is a midwife, and is working with a young couple considering adoption (baby is due in August). They are in high school, and have a lot of support from their families. We do not know where this will go, but we plan to send our match letter out to them in the coming weeks. If they like what they see, we will fly out to meet them. Obviously, we do not want to get our hopes up, but we are excited at the prospect.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Personality Test
We met with Sharon on Monday to discuss the results of our personality tests. Matt and I each rated ourselves, and then rated the other. The whole experience was designed to help us understand how our personalities will work together once we have children, and how they will affect our parenting styles. I think going into the appointment, we were nervous to see how things matched up. We feel like we know each other pretty well, and we have no problem talking with each other, but now we were being evaluated by a counselor!
I think the results were pretty accurate with how we would normally describe ourselves. It was interesting to see the graph that was formed by the results. Certain characteristics matched up almost perfectly, while others were quite different. It showed that, in a lot of ways, we complement each other very well. There was definitely a running theme throughout the appointment…our type-A personalities. Most sections of the assessment were affected by how we like to plan and account for every detail possible.
The best part of this whole process is what we have learned about ourselves, both individually and as a couple. I think the biggest life lesson has been to give up trying to plan and trust that God has a plan set for us. So often, I look at a situation and automatically try to figure out how I can fix things. I need to get better at asking God for guidance before I start creating a solution. I’m sure many of you have heard the saying “If you want to make God laugh, show Him your plans.”
We have two more appointments set with Sharon. One is my one-on-one interview at her office. The second is a meeting at our house, where we’ll meet with her as a couple and Matt will meet with her individually. At that point, our home study will be complete and Sharon will present us to the other counselors at CFCA. In the next two weeks, we’ll begin working on our match letter, which is presented to birth mothers at the agency. Being that neither of us is super-creative, we’re a little nervous about this. I’ll try to post it on the blog once it is complete.
As always, please pray for us as we go through this process. We would also ask that you continue to pray for our birth family, whoever they may be.
I think the results were pretty accurate with how we would normally describe ourselves. It was interesting to see the graph that was formed by the results. Certain characteristics matched up almost perfectly, while others were quite different. It showed that, in a lot of ways, we complement each other very well. There was definitely a running theme throughout the appointment…our type-A personalities. Most sections of the assessment were affected by how we like to plan and account for every detail possible.
The best part of this whole process is what we have learned about ourselves, both individually and as a couple. I think the biggest life lesson has been to give up trying to plan and trust that God has a plan set for us. So often, I look at a situation and automatically try to figure out how I can fix things. I need to get better at asking God for guidance before I start creating a solution. I’m sure many of you have heard the saying “If you want to make God laugh, show Him your plans.”
We have two more appointments set with Sharon. One is my one-on-one interview at her office. The second is a meeting at our house, where we’ll meet with her as a couple and Matt will meet with her individually. At that point, our home study will be complete and Sharon will present us to the other counselors at CFCA. In the next two weeks, we’ll begin working on our match letter, which is presented to birth mothers at the agency. Being that neither of us is super-creative, we’re a little nervous about this. I’ll try to post it on the blog once it is complete.
As always, please pray for us as we go through this process. We would also ask that you continue to pray for our birth family, whoever they may be.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Family & Tradition
We had our first home study visit yesterday, which ironically was at the agency and not at our house. Actually, our next home study visit is also at their office. The last two meetings will be at our house, and then we'll be ready for certification. The counselors present their adoptive families to the rest of the agency staff at their monthly meeting, to determine if they are ready to be certified and placed on the match list. Sharon hopes that we are ready to be presented to the agency in May.
During this first meeting, we talked about our families - the relationships we have, memories from our childhood, stories that we've heard passed down, and family traditions. It was fun to hear each other's memories, even if we've heard them before. Things like:
-Grandma Fischer sneaking cookies to Matt and his brothers
-Visiting Grandpa & Grandma Fincke at the beach
-Fishing in Washington with Grandpa Schroeder
-Playing in the basement at Grandpa & Grandma Caskey's house
As we talked with Sharon, we realized that our two families are very similar. We have always commented that our immediate families have very similar characteristics, but we hadn't looked at our extended family as much. Toward the end of our meeting, we realized that even our extended families match up pretty well. That is probably why we are so comfortable with each other's family.
We talked about different traditions that our families have, and what traditions we would like to continue with our children. It was exciting to think about the different stages in their life, and including them in traditions (some that date back a few generations). As I thought more about the idea of tradition, I realized that it will be very helpful in assuring our child that he/she is truly part of our family. It will also be important to learn about traditions of the birth family, so that our son/daughter maintains a connection with them. Sometimes I forget that our family is not going to simply grow by one person, that we are essentially adopting the birth family as well.
Our next home study visit will reveal the results of the temperament test that we took. I'm really interested to see how we scored. We actually took the test twice; once to rate ourselves, and once to rate each other. It will be fun to see how well we know each other. I'll let you know how it goes!
During this first meeting, we talked about our families - the relationships we have, memories from our childhood, stories that we've heard passed down, and family traditions. It was fun to hear each other's memories, even if we've heard them before. Things like:
-Grandma Fischer sneaking cookies to Matt and his brothers
-Visiting Grandpa & Grandma Fincke at the beach
-Fishing in Washington with Grandpa Schroeder
-Playing in the basement at Grandpa & Grandma Caskey's house
As we talked with Sharon, we realized that our two families are very similar. We have always commented that our immediate families have very similar characteristics, but we hadn't looked at our extended family as much. Toward the end of our meeting, we realized that even our extended families match up pretty well. That is probably why we are so comfortable with each other's family.
We talked about different traditions that our families have, and what traditions we would like to continue with our children. It was exciting to think about the different stages in their life, and including them in traditions (some that date back a few generations). As I thought more about the idea of tradition, I realized that it will be very helpful in assuring our child that he/she is truly part of our family. It will also be important to learn about traditions of the birth family, so that our son/daughter maintains a connection with them. Sometimes I forget that our family is not going to simply grow by one person, that we are essentially adopting the birth family as well.
Our next home study visit will reveal the results of the temperament test that we took. I'm really interested to see how we scored. We actually took the test twice; once to rate ourselves, and once to rate each other. It will be fun to see how well we know each other. I'll let you know how it goes!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Learning Patience
This whole process is really teaching us to be patient. Anyone who knows me knows that patience is not a characteristic that comes easily to me. Matt is much more patient, but also says he struggles in this area. I think much of our problem comes from our type-A personalities. We both feel the need to be in control of things, and we have a pre-set plan for everything. I am sure that I didn't need to tell anyone that...it's pretty obvious. We have definitely had to learn to do whatever is in our control, and then leave the rest up to God.
As soon as I turned in the paperwork, I e-mailed Sharon to see about setting up an appointment for a week later. Matt and I both had a day off, and it would have been perfect to schedule something. I forgot that background checks and fingerprinting do not happen overnight. Sharon probably got a good laugh when reading my e-mail. At some point, she'll probably develop a special folder in her inbox, just for the million e-mails that I send. We were able to set up our first home study meeting for March 30th.
I think this process is really helping our mindset, so that we will be more prepared when we are placed with a child. With kids (from what I've seen), you can make all the plans in the world, but that doesn't mean that they will work out. Things happen at the worst possible times and you just have to deal with it. We have really been able to control much of our lives up until this point, so this has been a good lesson. I have a feeling that the lessons in patience are not over yet, they have only just begun!
As soon as I turned in the paperwork, I e-mailed Sharon to see about setting up an appointment for a week later. Matt and I both had a day off, and it would have been perfect to schedule something. I forgot that background checks and fingerprinting do not happen overnight. Sharon probably got a good laugh when reading my e-mail. At some point, she'll probably develop a special folder in her inbox, just for the million e-mails that I send. We were able to set up our first home study meeting for March 30th.
I think this process is really helping our mindset, so that we will be more prepared when we are placed with a child. With kids (from what I've seen), you can make all the plans in the world, but that doesn't mean that they will work out. Things happen at the worst possible times and you just have to deal with it. We have really been able to control much of our lives up until this point, so this has been a good lesson. I have a feeling that the lessons in patience are not over yet, they have only just begun!
Friday, March 5, 2010
One Step Closer
What a feeling! Today, we dropped off all of our adoption paperwork to the agency...all 62 pages of it. We literally worked on that for 2 1/2 months, so it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of our shoulders. It is just exciting to think that we are one step closer to completing this process. At the same time, it is a little intimidating - for two reasons.
One, it is a little scary to think that we will soon have a child. I'm sure this is the same anxiety that expectant parents experience. Don't get me wrong, we are thrilled about becoming parents, but we are terrified at the same time. :)
Second, now that the paperwork has been submitted, we are stuck with what we wrote. Here comes the second-guessing. Could our answers have been better? What if we sound like complete morons? Should we have written more? In the end, we just need to let it go, and trust that our answers are a good representation of who we are. I am not too worried. We went over our answers twice, and didn't change anything. I think we're good.
Hopefully, we can start the home study process soon. There are four meetings that make up the home study, two at our home and two at the office. Once that is done, then we will get certified by the state. Once we're certified we'll be eligible to apply for adoption grants, so we plan to start working on those documents soon. That way, once we're done, we can start submitting the applications. We'll probably start working on our match letter soon too.
There's lots of work ahead, but we need to celebrate the small steps along the way!
One, it is a little scary to think that we will soon have a child. I'm sure this is the same anxiety that expectant parents experience. Don't get me wrong, we are thrilled about becoming parents, but we are terrified at the same time. :)
Second, now that the paperwork has been submitted, we are stuck with what we wrote. Here comes the second-guessing. Could our answers have been better? What if we sound like complete morons? Should we have written more? In the end, we just need to let it go, and trust that our answers are a good representation of who we are. I am not too worried. We went over our answers twice, and didn't change anything. I think we're good.
Hopefully, we can start the home study process soon. There are four meetings that make up the home study, two at our home and two at the office. Once that is done, then we will get certified by the state. Once we're certified we'll be eligible to apply for adoption grants, so we plan to start working on those documents soon. That way, once we're done, we can start submitting the applications. We'll probably start working on our match letter soon too.
There's lots of work ahead, but we need to celebrate the small steps along the way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)