Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us through this process! As I've mentioned before, it is amazing how much we have learned about ourselves, and how much we've gained from this experience.
In a poast posting, I mentioned a young couple in Wisconsin who were considering adoption. They have decided to parent that baby (due in August). Obviously, there is a little disappointment, but this is truly the ideal situation for that child. To be raised by parents who love him/her and who have a strong support system is a perfect scenario. We would ask that you continue to pray for that family, as they will experience a great transition in mid-August.
We will officially submit our match letter to CFCA this week (probably Wednesday). Sharon has informed us that the letter will go online by Thursday at the latest. Many of you have already seen it through this blog, but I'll still post the link once it goes live. At that point, we wait. The Pregnancy Counselors will present our letter to any birth mother who matches our interests.
My goal now, other than to have a high level of patience, is to begin submitting applications for adoption grants. Quite a few organizations offer funding for adoptive parents, so I will be in contact with them to see if we qualify. If nothing else, it will give me something to do so that I don't get to antsy.
We'll keep everyone posted on how things are going. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Welcome to Holland
At this point in our adoption journey, we don't have a lot to report. We're waiting for the state to officially certify us, and we're waiting to hear back about a young couple in Wisconsin. In the meantime, I thought I would share a story that was given to us during our adoption class. As you read it, insert "adopted child" where it says "child with a disability." It fits well.
Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not share that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this:
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michaelangelo David. The gondolas of Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"HOLLAND?!!" you say, "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole group of people you never would have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they're having. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes. That's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned on."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant one.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland."
Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not share that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this:
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michaelangelo David. The gondolas of Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"HOLLAND?!!" you say, "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole group of people you never would have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they're having. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes. That's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned on."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant one.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland."
Friday, May 21, 2010
Approved!
Many of you already saw this on Facebook, but I thought I would add a quick post to our blog. Sharon called me yesterday afternoon to let us know that we had be approved, and have now completed the home study process. She still needs to submit all documentation to the state of Arizona for our certification. That will probably take some time, but we are eligible to be placed.
I think we've finished our match letter, so I'll try to post that to this blog. I'm not sure how that works, so no guarantees!
I think we've finished our match letter, so I'll try to post that to this blog. I'm not sure how that works, so no guarantees!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Certification...here we come!
On Tuesday, we had our final meeting for the certification process. Sharon came over to check out our house and interview Matt. Talk about prepping your house for a visitor! The goal was to have a clean, but lived-in, look. I think we succeeded. She just wanted to make sure we aren’t living in sub-standard conditions and that we have space for a baby.
Now that she has our file completed, she will present us to the rest of the staff at Christian Family Care Agency. With each prospective family, the counselors must agree that we are prepared to move forward in the process. That meeting will actually take place today and she’ll call this afternoon to let us know how it went. She assured us that any issues would have been addressed already, so we have nothing to worry about.
Another great accomplishment was finishing our match letter (well, we’re pretty much finished). Our goal was to have a copy ready to show Sharon on Tuesday. It was really helpful to have that set deadline to keep us focused on getting it done. We were really nervous about what she would say. She had a few minor revisions, but seemed to really like it! And I doubted our creativity… Once we have it complete, I’ll try to post it on our blog so you can see it too. Even though it caused us some stress, it is pretty cool to have something that summarizes who we are. It will be neat to share with our son or daughter one day.
Now that she has our file completed, she will present us to the rest of the staff at Christian Family Care Agency. With each prospective family, the counselors must agree that we are prepared to move forward in the process. That meeting will actually take place today and she’ll call this afternoon to let us know how it went. She assured us that any issues would have been addressed already, so we have nothing to worry about.
Another great accomplishment was finishing our match letter (well, we’re pretty much finished). Our goal was to have a copy ready to show Sharon on Tuesday. It was really helpful to have that set deadline to keep us focused on getting it done. We were really nervous about what she would say. She had a few minor revisions, but seemed to really like it! And I doubted our creativity… Once we have it complete, I’ll try to post it on our blog so you can see it too. Even though it caused us some stress, it is pretty cool to have something that summarizes who we are. It will be neat to share with our son or daughter one day.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Almost there!
One more meeting has been checked off the list – I met with Sharon today for my individual interview. Heading into the meeting, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I figured it was her chance to get to know me better…and I was right. This was her opportunity to learn more about my family, childhood, marriage and dreams for the future. I think I was very open and honest with her, but you still worry about how your comments and responses are being received. It’s not that I worry about Sharon; it is easy to feel that you’ll be judged for what you say anytime you are interviewed. I think what weighs on me the most is that she is going to ask Matt the same questions next week. Will he respond in a similar way? Was I way off base with how I see things? Don’t worry; I’m not losing sleep over this. I know that since I responded honestly, our answers will probably be fairly similar. One thing is for sure, I feel like Matt and I have gotten to know each other at a much different level as we have moved through this process. Between the application, class homework and match letter, we have talked a lot over the past few months. What a great thing to be able to share with our child one day – that the process of adopting him/her drew us closer together.
Next Tuesday, Sharon will come over to our house for the final meeting. After checking out our place, she’ll interview Matt individually. It’s hard to believe that we are getting this close. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when you look at the entire process, but if you take it step by step, it isn’t so bad.
Next Tuesday, Sharon will come over to our house for the final meeting. After checking out our place, she’ll interview Matt individually. It’s hard to believe that we are getting this close. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when you look at the entire process, but if you take it step by step, it isn’t so bad.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Match Letter
As we come to the end of our home study process (final meeting is May 18), we are starting to write our match letter. This is written to birth mothers and provides information about us, our families and our hobbies. In the beginning, I didn't think it would be hard to write. Now that we have really started working on it, I am realizing that it isn't easy to write about yourself...especially when birth mothers will make decisions based on these four pages. Of course we are going to analyze every detail that goes into this letter. In the end, we just have to realize that our birth mother will find us, regardless of what color I chose for the title or which picture I use.
It has been fun to dig through all of our pictures, looking for those "perfect" shots to include. We don't often take the time to look back over the past seven years of marriage and remember all of the great times we've had. Trips we have taken, fun times with friends, and random pictures that don't make a lot of sense. We have truly been blessed with the opportunities that we have had throughout the course of our relationship. Looking back really helped put things into perspective. Do we remember the hard times as we look back? No, only the good came to mind. The same will be true of this process. It is easy to get frustrated by the many steps we have had to take. Once we are placed with a child, I believe that we will only remember the positive details of the experience. God has blessed us so much, and I want to make sure that that always remains the focus!
We would appreciate your prayers on something in particular. Matt's aunt is a midwife, and is working with a young couple considering adoption (baby is due in August). They are in high school, and have a lot of support from their families. We do not know where this will go, but we plan to send our match letter out to them in the coming weeks. If they like what they see, we will fly out to meet them. Obviously, we do not want to get our hopes up, but we are excited at the prospect.
It has been fun to dig through all of our pictures, looking for those "perfect" shots to include. We don't often take the time to look back over the past seven years of marriage and remember all of the great times we've had. Trips we have taken, fun times with friends, and random pictures that don't make a lot of sense. We have truly been blessed with the opportunities that we have had throughout the course of our relationship. Looking back really helped put things into perspective. Do we remember the hard times as we look back? No, only the good came to mind. The same will be true of this process. It is easy to get frustrated by the many steps we have had to take. Once we are placed with a child, I believe that we will only remember the positive details of the experience. God has blessed us so much, and I want to make sure that that always remains the focus!
We would appreciate your prayers on something in particular. Matt's aunt is a midwife, and is working with a young couple considering adoption (baby is due in August). They are in high school, and have a lot of support from their families. We do not know where this will go, but we plan to send our match letter out to them in the coming weeks. If they like what they see, we will fly out to meet them. Obviously, we do not want to get our hopes up, but we are excited at the prospect.
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