Stupidity

During class on Tuesday, we talked about transracial adoption (adopting a child of a different race from either adoptive parent). The teacher and an adoptive family shared that people do not always think before asking quetions or making comments. As we started this process, we realized the the child we adopt will most likely be from a different race, and we are just fine with that. I don't think that we considered the fact that not everyone will be ok with it. Not that I really care about other peoples' opinions, but it did get me thinking.

Why is it that people feel comfortable asking very intrusive questions about a child if it appears that he/she was adopted? Those same people would never be that forward with a woman who appears to have a biological baby with her. What is even more puzzling is that these questions/comments are usually only made when the adoptive mom is out with the kids on her own. If the adoptive father is with them, the comments are kept to a minimum. Why is that? Whatever the answer, I wonder how we will react if/when people say things to us. We were taught last night that "Why do you ask?" is a really effective response because it throws people off. I'm glad that I have a prepared response now, because I can't guarantee that I would be very polite if someone was insulting me or my children. Our teacher last night gave examples of questions/comments that adoptive moms have been asked. These are actual examples, not made up:

"Is the father black?" - obviously asked if the mother is not black
"You've been busy!" - if the mother has children of different races
"How much did he/she cost?"

Seriously people?! You don't hear people asking a new mom with a biological baby "How much did that hospital stay run you?" Why do random people feel that they have the right to be so rude with adoptive families? I guess that I will just have to rely on "Why do you ask?" when I encounter such ignorance...unless I can prepare some really sarcastic comebacks in advance. :>)